Online Dating Scams

[exitstageright]

How many of you men feel that the online dating websites,that shows pictures of women,are scams?
Case in point,
I have lost faith in these online dating sites.This is my response to a site that keeps asking me to up"upgrade",as they are starting to get on my nerves.

"Everytime,that I contact someone,I get a one time answer.I then write back,and I never hear from that person anymore.To me,this smells like a fraud.As the saying goes,"If it looks like a duck,walks like a duck,quacks like a duck,it must be a duck. Women,who are attached, usually married women,tell me,"S.......,you are a good man.Any women would feel lucky to have you".Well,I wonder. Why these women are lying to me? If I am so wonderful,why am I not attracting anyone? I am starting to have trust issues.Would you believe someone who lies to you? It seems that women are constantly lying to me."

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

sovereigngracesingles is the only dating(marriage) site that is legit as I know a few people personally who met people and are married off that site. it's for reformed believers.

unfortunately, however, there are a lot of racists on that site. It may have changed since I left.

 

[exitstageright]

sovereigngracesingles is the only dating(marriage) site that is legit as I know a few people personally who met people and are married off that site. it's for reformed believers.

unfortunately, however, there are a lot of racists on that site. I may have changed since I left.

Thanks for the info.

 

[Citanul]

Women,who are attached, usually married women,tell me,"S.......,you are a good man.Any women would feel lucky to have you".Well,I wonder. Why these women are lying to me? If I am so wonderful,why am I not attracting anyone?

Those women telling you that have had a chance to get to know you in person. They're not making an assessment of you based on some photographs and whatever you've written in your profile, which is all that anyone who encounters you on a dating site has to go by.

Trying to adequately convey who you are through a bunch of words is one of the things that can make online dating difficult. If there's anything about your profile that makes a woman uncertain (be it something specific that she may have doubts over or simply just nothing that stands out to her) then she may very well decide not to bother with you, especially since it's very likely that she's received plenty of messages from other men who might appeal to her more.

I have been on some dates as a result of online dating, and none of those women misrepresented themselves on the site and appeared to genuinely be looking for someone, even if that someone turned out not to be me. So I wouldn't describe online dating in general as a scam, although it's entirely possible that certain sites are.

 

[Bass4Jesus]

I have no recent experience in online dating, but may I suggest you do a web search for "online dating common mistakes" and make sure you're not making any.

 

[Servant68]

I tried online dating sites three years ago or so both in AZ and in ID. Ones in AZ were productive with plenty of women my age that were attractive and normal. Hundreds of search results within 15 miles of my zip. But, I wasn't ready to date yet. Moved to Idaho and tried the same sites and received less than a dozen results. Haven't met a woman my age yet online that didn't have serious baggage/mental health issues up here.

My favorite scam attempts up here have been gorgeous women in their 20's sending me a message and their profile is either bare, or contains broken English. And they are usually from a very remote small town like Santa, ID or Clarkia, ID.

One woman was very convincing, closer to my age group, from a nearby college town, and said she was a buyer of art for various hotel chains. Talked to her via email and red flags went up. Said she was currently out of the country on a business trip.

Asked her about a local restaurant and "her" answer was dubious. Next email was about how she lost her purse and needed a wire transfer. Boom. Delete.

 

[exitstageright]

I tried online dating sites three years ago or so both in AZ and in ID. Ones in AZ were productive with plenty of women my age that were attractive and normal. Hundreds of search results within 15 miles of my zip. But, I wasn't ready to date yet. Moved to Idaho and tried the same sites and received less than a dozen results. Haven't met a woman my age yet online that didn't have serious baggage/mental health issues up here.

My favorite scam attempts up here have been gorgeous women in their 20's sending me a message and their profile is either bare, or contains broken English. And they are usually from a very remote small town like Santa, ID or Clarkia, ID.

One woman was very convincing, closer to my age group, from a nearby college town, and said she was a buyer of art for various hotel chains. Talked to her via email and red flags went up. Said she was currently out of the country on a business trip.

Asked her about a local restaurant and "her" answer was dubious. Next email was about how she lost her purse and needed a wire transfer. Boom. Delete.

 

[exitstageright]

Next Tuesday(February 14th) is Valentine's Day. The scammers will be coming out of the woodwork.

 

[JesusTaxiExpress]

I've been on CDFF a lot lately and I've been running into many fake accounts....I report them and then they get banned....Best ways to tell imo are watch our for the use of grammar....If they are an American and use poor grammar that should be an immediate red flag....Also, ask personal questions like where did they go to high school, etc....I had someone recently on my FB friends list who had been there a while..One day I messaged her to see if she was single...She said she was and gained an interest in me...Her FB profile page looked legit too with Jesus postings, etc....But when I dug deep like into her education one night all of a sudden she said she was real tired, and had to go to bed...She wanted to know why I was asking her these things....She later de-friended me.,,,Sadly there are a lot of scammer...Beware and use discernment...Don't give your heart away too fast.

 

[blackribbon]

Can I suggest that if the package looks too good, it probably is?

I doubt that you will find scammers under pictures of very ordinary looking women...you know, the ones that look like the majority of women that you would see in your local grocery store. But then again, like those ordinary looking men who want to date beautiful women, they may be delusional and only want to talk to movie star material themselves (or rich men, since that seems to be the female equivalent of shallow dating).

 

[pdudgeon]

How many of you men feel that the online dating websites,that shows pictures of women,are scams?
Case in point,
I have lost faith in these online dating sites.This is my response to a site that keeps asking me to up"upgrade",as they are starting to get on my nerves.

"Everytime,that I contact someone,I get a one time answer.I then write back,and I never hear from that person anymore.To me,this smells like a fraud.As the saying goes,"If it looks like a duck,walks like a duck,quacks like a duck,it must be a duck. Women,who are attached, usually married women,tell me,"S.......,you are a good man.Any women would feel lucky to have you".Well,I wonder. Why these women are lying to me? If I am so wonderful,why am I not attracting anyone? I am starting to have trust issues.Would you believe someone who lies to you? It seems that women are constantly lying to me."

yep, I hear you. it's very disheartening for anyone to be lied to on a Christian dating site; the one place that would seem to attract trustworthy people.
Common sense would say that for a non-Christian to sign up for such a site would be a non-start situation.
apparently not.

So even on a Christian site it's "buyer beware" these days.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

sovereigngracesingles is the only dating(marriage) site that is legit as I know a few people personally who met people and are married off that site. it's for reformed believers.

unfortunately, however, there are a lot of racists on that site. It may have changed since I left.

Lol dang

 

[EdyChristian28]

I'd think its actually kind of funny if there was a dating site
with those pop up ads. Saying "B!#@#y women are looking for single men in your area." and it has two attractive women already looking angry" and its absolutely legit.

No they are not legitimate. I don't have to go on those sites to know that. I mean yea if you have money. Like more than what they can find. Then again I saw an ad on craigslist of some guy asking for a inhouse girlfriend and stating all the requirements so who knows. cooking and size measurements under housing and rent. SO.. yea its not legit. You think Hot Asian and Russian women are trying to desperately get a hold of you or they need to pay the rent with webcams.

Also whats laughable is the idea of finding a Christian woman on ChristianMingle

Yea. No doubt all the wrong women are on there looking for a good Christian man.

I'm not saying there isn't psycho's on there too, or men with tun,tun,tun (dramatic audio) PROBLEMS. Want to scare a woman away. Just mention the word and they'll be like no, I get to have problems. You no problem, you no problem at all. Health problem? peace I'm out.

PROBLEMS.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

Why these women are lying to me? If I am so wonderful,why am I not attracting anyone? I am starting to have trust issues.Would you believe someone who lies to you? It seems that women are constantly lying to me."

Because everybody lies and the person who denies this is an even bigger liar than most. Don't be naive and believe something just because someone says it. If you aren't attracting women and you have women telling you are wonderful, theres a clear disconnect here. Why won't those women who say you are wonderful go with you? They got somebody? figures.

Also judging from your profile pic the words pushover, beta male come to mind. I don't know if theres anything you can personally do about that, and I don't doubt you are a wonderful man inside but women want what they want, like you want what you want. Until your wants are aligned with another womens wants then the best thats going to happen is taken women are going to give you compliments on your niceness, while the women you do want or who are available are no where to be found.

A few other things I have to say are, whatever girls thought of you in high school, whatever that perception of you was, it has not changed today. The only difference between a high school teen and the same girl 20-30 years later is she has learned to filter her true thoughts. But at their core of what they are attracted to hasn't changed. And the people who go with someone for just who they are, are the type of people I'm sure you aren't interested in.

 

[com7fy8]

How many of you men feel that the online dating websites,that shows pictures of women,are scams?

Jesus says, Freely you have received, freely give," in Matthew 10:8. I take this to include how we do not need to pay money in order to get a love relationship. The Bible gives us plenty about how to relate in love. And this will connect us with whoever we really belong with.

If I am so wonderful,why am I not attracting anyone?

Be how God wants you to be with Him, and this will connect you with whomever you belong with.

 

[sundewgrower]

Younger guy here.
(more crazy example--but my point is "there is hope" and "some are decent")
I met a women off of CF (here) and that was no scam---internationally in a third world country... I met two other girls also on a casual note also.. Philippines, Indonesia, and Malaysia to be exact... I'm aiming to go meet a friend and it's really enriched my life...

The key is to look at the context and filter through people aggressively. If things aren't being touched on, the topics seem misaligned, they aren't transparent, etc--then something is awry asking to the duck analogy you mentioned. There are wonderful people out there--but online can attract more rocks (especially for the drier single pools age wise) than gems, and not that the internet is bad--but inherently you will get more dross than gold. None of those three friends used me and they knew I earned 5x+ their average wage.

I don't know much but I'd aim for no frills, straightforward, etc--if there's a monthly fee and lacks the glitz it might be decent. As of now I'm trying OKC but that's for the 20s bracket. It's slow and tedious--so far maybe I can secure a date with an engineer girl but time will tell.

 

[com7fy8]

I have used a site for pen palling; I said I was not there for dating; but still certain women tried to get me to marry them.

If we do things God's way, He can make the way for us to find who we belong with, and for what.

 

[dayhiker]

I've not been on dating sites in years so I don't know what is happening with them. Over 8 yrs ago I got a GF thru a dating site. We dated for 4 years and had a good time together. We have no been just friends for 4 yrs.
I find GFs at personal growth events and meetups. Those work really well.

 

[com7fy8]

A Christian lady is gentle and humble and honest.

"rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." (1 Peter 3:4)

But we can be looking at and wanting what is not real beauty and getting distracted with it. And we may not be interested in pleasing our Heavenly Father, by being gentle and quiet in our spirit. So, this could keep us from appreciating a really Christian person.

If someone is gentle and quiet, it is possible for certain men to find that person to be boring . . . even though such a person is so pleasing to God. And so a man could miss out on a real lady, in his seeking for pleasure and excitement. And he might find it difficult to get a woman who meets his demands > she might find him to be boring, while he himself has by nature been condemning gentle and quiet ladies as being boring.

Being a truly great guy, then, includes that we do not judge women only by outward beauty, plus we ourselves are gentle and quiet as a good example for our sisters

 

[com7fy8]

"be content with such things as you have" (in Hebrews 13:5).

To me, this applies to being satisfied with whatever I do have in my relating with ladies. Be content with one minute of sharing with a really Christian woman, and have regard for her, that she is able to pray and be led by God about how much time and attention she chooses to give to me. A Christian sister can be led by our Father; so expect this, in how she relates with me, and be appreciative of any amount of time we share

Every Christian sister is able to minister God's own grace to me, to change me to get more real with God and learn better how to relate in real love. So, every moment with any Christian lady is so worthwhile and to be greatly appreciated. And she can do me so much more good, than what many men want from a woman.

And if I am faithful to this, with a little bit here and there, in due time I can reap more and more of sharing with someone special.

Keep investing in how the Bible says to relate in love; then we can be ready to do well in a close and special relationship and not waste it.

"Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that I may rejoice in the day of Christ that I have not run in vain or labored in vain." (Philippians 2:14-16)

By getting strong in God's love so we do not give in to arguing and complaining, we also become "blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation". Because in God's love we have His almighty immunity against sin-sick ways of relating, plus we gain in His character of love > 1 John 4:17 < and this makes us able to be stable and caring and sharing in His family love, so we can do well in very close relationships, for marriage and other family sharing as Jesus people

So, part of learning how to love and get real in love is how we learn not to complain or argue, and learn how to love creatively, instead.

And there is plenty more in God's word, about how to love.