New/My Story

[EternalNight]

Not good with introductions just another sad story I guess. No real family, no education, no start at life. I started hooking when I was 19 and stripping when I was 21. I've been beaten half to death by johns, pimps, and earlier with my parents. I really have a bad problem with speed and it destroyed what little I had going for me. I know it's killing me but I cant stop using. I have a son I love more than any other thing in this world but his dad took him away from me. I am not a good mother I tried but I just couldnt. It doesn't mean I didnt care or love him I really love him so much. I just dont want him to hate me later on when he finds out about me. He is the only thing I really have and I don't even have him. That is me I guess in a nutshell.

 

[joey_downunder]

I stumbled upon your entry when surfing. I must admit apart from a very destructive relationship I have no idea of what you're going through.

These passages come to mind for you (if for some reason the links don't work then just search for Biblegateway website):
John 4:1-42 - Passage Lookup - New International Version - BibleGateway.com The Samaritan woman who had had many unsuccessful relationships was accepted by Jesus and through her introducing Jesus to her people many in Samaria believed in Jesus.

John 8:1-12 - Passage Lookup - New International Version - BibleGateway.com The woman about to be stoned for adultery was told by Jesus she was forgiven and sin no more. No mention of her needing to do anything to make up for what she had done.

1 corinthians 6:9-11 - Passage Lookup - New International Version - BibleGateway.com Yes you (and I) were guilty of some of those sins mentioned, but notice last verse. We were washed and cleansed of our sins and are seen as totally OK in God's eyes because of our faith in Jesus.

Trust that no matter how bad things may seem, God still is in control and loves us in spite of our sins.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=john 8:1-12&version=NIV

 

[Criada]

I am so sorry, sweetie. I'm glad you found this forum, there are people here who can understand and support you.
If there is anything I can do, or you need an ear, please PM me any time.

 

[New Creation]

Hey there EternalNight! You've chosen a very poetic, beautiful and telling username.

I'm very glad you found your way over here. We have several dozen posters who are in or have been in various parts of the sex industry. Hopefully we will be able to encourage and maybe even help you.

My name is Paula and I started stripping at 18. I continued doing it mostly until I was 34 with a couple of stints of "normal" jobs for a few years in between. I only prostituted on a few occassions but it was enough to know that it sucks.

I've been out of the business for 7 years this month actually. I was a big fat mess. Alcoholic, pothead, and cocky attention wh*re. I'm now married with a 3 year old daughter and a life that still knocks me over for a loop once in a while. It took a miracle to get me out. Luckily, I know where miracles are readily available if you're ever interested.

Please tell us a little more about yourself EternalNight! What kind of things are you interested in? How old is your son?

 

[EternalNight]

Hey guys you all seem like agood place to post. I don't have to many interests usually to messed up to do anything. I like to listen to music and I watch tv that is about it lol. My son is 3 so he is about to start school. He is so cute! I realy miss him so much i wish i could see him again. it feels like a part is missing from me since he has been gone. i would fight for him i just know he is in a better place now. his dad isnt very nice though so he wont let me even talk to him on the phone. it is like i am good enough to do stuff with and be your sons mother but not be in any of there lives. I just want to hear his voice and know he is okay. not my role i guess i blew that chancec.

ya i got this namen from lord of the rings lol nerdy but i love it.

 

[TheAncientOfDays]

Eternal, you're story moved me. You will be in my prayers. God bless.

 

[Kyle Risk]

I will be praying for you EternalNight. Remember that God provides for all who reach out to him!

 

[KarateCowboy]

Sounds like a rough situation. When I'm feeling trapped I like to ask myself "What's right about this situation?".
You have a child that you love very much.
Your boy has a father who cares about the wellbeing of his son.
You can focus on fighting your own demons for now, then focus more on your son when you are better able to express your love through your care for him.
You're focusing sincerely on improving where you are in life.
You've acknowledged your addiction.
You've decided to work on stopping your addiction.
You're looking for help!
These are all things that are right about where you are right now. Think about that.

 

[Bonhoffer]

There is an amazing book called "Scars & Stilettos" by Harmony Dust. She was a stripper with a history of abuse who then came to Christ!

 

[BlondieLashes]

There is an amazing book called "Scars & Stilettos" by Harmony Dust. She was a stripper with a history of abuse who then came to Christ!

Wonderful book!!!!!!!!!! Good recommendation!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Whitey21]

EternalNight, I have no idea what you must be going through. All I can do is share with you what my Awesome God has done for me! I struggled for years with sexual sin (infidelity) and I wanted so badly to stop, but I always failed over time. Then, I began a time of desparately calling out to God, turning it over to Him, and diving into His Word. Afte 2 weeks of this, He answered me, He made me realize how much He loves me (you love your son? Multiply that by 1000 times) and that Jesus paid the price for anything that I had done, or ever would do...forever! That realization of love and forgiveness has changed my life forever, never to be the same again, praise the Lord, Creator of the heavens and the earth!It's useless to 'list' where you are - turn it all over to Him, Cry out to Him, dive into His Word, it is powerful, and He will answer you, I promise! Just keep crying out until the God of this universe reaches out with a touch so loving that you will never be the same! God bless you, and I will pray for you.

 

[Jazer]

I know it's killing me but I cant stop using.

We do have a choice. God will make a way of excape for us.

Deuteronomy 30:19-20 (New King James Version)

19 I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; 20 that you may love the LORD your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days; and that you may dwell in the land which the LORD swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give them.”

No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. 1cor10:13

 

[Fire Angel]

Hi EternalNight, My dad made me a hokker at a young age. and they used drugs on me. At age 19 I met Jesus, and my life has been different sense. Still healing from the scars of the past, but no longer in that life style.
It does sound like your child's father cares for your son. Do you know of any reach missions in your area. That maybe able to help you?
I will be praying for you to. I am glad you were brave to share some of your story.

 

[Dusk777]

No matter what, God can help you overcome what you're going through. Trust Him and let Him take control. It may seem hard from where you are in life but, I know you can do it. Pray the best you know how. You will get your answer and life will get better. After all, God promised us that.

 

[nautical999]

eternalnight

i would like to say welcome to the forum. God has sent you here for a reason. There are many here who are kind and gentle and love to help. There are many shoulders to cry on and many ears that want to listen when you would like to talk. All of us are here for you. I have been in similar shoes and am offering my keyboard for your service. Pm if you need to talk. We will keep you in prayer. God Bless you and may he keep your child safe and sound.