From www.crosswalk.com - by permission
Singer Cindy Diane Credits God for Transformed Life
Janet Chismar
Although her national recording debut, Face to Face, is climbing
industry charts, Cindy Diane would rather talk about how awesome God is
and spend a portion of her allotted interview time praying. This
genuine, godly and gifted woman rarely mentions her growing career.
Instead, she shines with a light borne in the furnace of trials. I was
bulimic, and in total denial of being bulimic, for over seven years,
she explains. Cindy Diane also suffered from a spirit of rejection
rooted in her childhood. But by the blood of Jesus and the Word, I
overcame these struggles.
Now Cindy Diane spends her time offering praise and thankfulness for the
overwhelming blessings her journey in life has yielded.
Growing up in Kansas, Cindy Diane began singing at a very young age. "My
mom would stand me up on the table and my sister and I would sing
duets," she recalls.
By age 5, Cindy Diane discovered her first musical
hero - Barbra Streisand in "Funny Girl" sparking the desire for a
career in music. Thus, after college, she migrated to Los Angeles and
grabbed any opportunity to sing. I realized that I enjoyed singing all
types of music, but it was in singing gospel that I came alive and found
my true passion."
During this time, the Lord gently began to show Cindy Diane she had a
problem with food. It was actually through a Bible study that I was
involved in with actors and actresses Media Fellowship International.
I would see all these well-known actresses, skinny as your pinky, and
beautiful.
And after our Bible study we would sit in a circle and pray
for each other and these women would say, Im back into being bulimic
or I have to go into rehab for anorexia. I would look at them
thinking, Are you crazy? You, of all people? No way!
Then they would come to me in the circle, and I would say, You know, praise the Lord.Everythings great. Im doing fine, no problem.
Cindy Diane was in denial. She, like many others who struggle with
addictions, felt she could control her binging. I thought, Thats not
me. I can stop doing this in two weeks. In two weeks, Ill reach my goal
and itll be over.
Bulimia is characterized by episodes of binge eating, followed by
inappropriate methods of weight control (purging) such as vomiting,
fasting, enemas, excessive use of laxatives and diuretics or compulsive
exercising.
Breaking Free
It was during a mission trip to Mexico that she finally broke free of
denial. Somehow the Lord just totally ordained it. I was driving, and
my girlfriend, Jillian we had really just gotten to know each other
rode shotgun. She was another one in the circle who would never say
anything, never exposed anything.
Well, she started pouring her heart out to me on the way down there about being bulimic and all the different ways she did it.
When the group got to Mexico, Jillian came to a point where she wanted
the pastor to pray for her. She asked Cindy Diane to get him and the
three met in private.
Jillian just started pouring her heart out to him, says Cindy Diane. After about 20 minutes of listening to Jillian crying and explaining how she felt about herself and being bulimic, Pastor Bob looked at me and said, How do you feel about this?
Cindy Diane was taken aback. Then she replied, Well, to tell you the
truth, everything that she said is exactly the way I feel. Her pastor
said, C.D., do you know that if somebody has a secret on the inside of
them, it has control of them? That secret has control of you. But if you
will let it out, the Holy Spirit can gain control of it and set you
free. So, what are you going to do?
And I said, Im bulimic. It was the weirdest thing to come out of my
mouth. Her pastor then asked if she wanted to be free and prayed for
her. I was totally delivered from that night on, although it has been a
process. It wasnt like one day of deliverance. God had been dealing
with me and I was just ready and I surrendered. God is so patient with
us and faithful to bring us the right people, the right circumstances,
and it works.
Deliverance, Round Two
A few years after admitting she was bulimic, God delivered Cindy Diane
from another life struggle. She fell to her knees one evening,
worshipping the Lord. I was so free and so thankful. But the Holy
Spirit showed me a vision of how I had built a dam up in my heart of
bitterness and unforgiveness.
My scripture at the time was Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me and know my thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me. I would pray, Remove it from me that I may walk in the way everlasting. That had been my prayer every day for a year. The Lord would not let me get away he said, Call your dad.
So I got up, without hesitation, and called my dad. I asked him to
forgive me for holding bitterness in my heart. He did. I told him what
had happened the night before, which is an amazing story. And he said,
Praise God. Praise the Lord. He had become a Christian. We didnt get
into any deep discussion, but we bridged the gap. We hadnt talked to
each other in a year.
Because Cindy Diane often speaks and sings at local and regional women's
events, she is grateful to have the restoration in her own life that
enables her to help others. "So many women come to me at events and say
that they are struggling with these same issues of forgiveness. I
encourage them, through my testimony, to check their hearts and begin
the process of forgiving."
Behind Bars
Not one to shrink away from loving the most troubled souls, Cindy Diane
has ministered for years behind bars. Ive had people ask me if I was
intimidated about going into prisons, she recalls. I think that I was
just so naïve that I didnt even know to be [afraid]. I was 21 when I
started doing prison ministry.
She found a kindred soul when she met her husband, Eric Kittleson. When
we got married, he went into the prisons and jails with me. The man who
Id always gone in with previously, his names Frank Pica; I call him
Papa Frank now. Hes like a dad to me.
He was an ex-convict, in with
the Mafia, back east in New Jersey. He got saved in jail and so hes
gone back to minister. Thats what he does full time."
Several years ago, Cindy Diane and Eric helped Pica found I AM New Life
Ministries, an aftercare program providing spiritual and vocational
training, drug rehabilitation, family support and community placement
for ex-convicts.
I was going with Papa Frank into prisons all these years, and he always had this dream in his heart to start an after-care program, because the statistics for prisoners going back in isincredible, around 90 percent. I know thats the case. Wed go from jail to another and see the same girls or the same guys.
Cindy Diane attributes the success of the ministry to its structure:
Theres very intensive spiritual training in the Word, and in prayer.
Its very strict. Through the spiritual training and the Bible study,
they get stirred up about Whats my calling? What does the Lord want
me to do?
Theres vocational training to help them find a job, find a niche. And then, a lot of community service, community involvement. Its a nine-month program. When they come out of there, theyre really set to be walking their born-again life.
Its powerful. Anytime you go there, its like, You were an ex-convict? No way! Their lives are so transformed.
Prisons hold a special place in Cindy Dianes heart because it was in a
jail that her vision for ministry through music first came alive.
"There I was, a midwestern girl, singing before a rowdy crowd of
convicted criminals. I will never forget this tough-looking prisoner who
was heckling me as I sang.
He began listening to the music, and I watched in amazement as the countenance of this man was completelytransformed. The next thing I knew, his head was in his hands and he broke down and accepted Jesus.
I realized this is what I wanted to do - to see music draw people to Christ."
Singer Cindy Diane Credits God for Transformed Life
Janet Chismar
Although her national recording debut, Face to Face, is climbing
industry charts, Cindy Diane would rather talk about how awesome God is
and spend a portion of her allotted interview time praying. This
genuine, godly and gifted woman rarely mentions her growing career.
Instead, she shines with a light borne in the furnace of trials. I was
bulimic, and in total denial of being bulimic, for over seven years,
she explains. Cindy Diane also suffered from a spirit of rejection
rooted in her childhood. But by the blood of Jesus and the Word, I
overcame these struggles.
Now Cindy Diane spends her time offering praise and thankfulness for the
overwhelming blessings her journey in life has yielded.
Growing up in Kansas, Cindy Diane began singing at a very young age. "My
mom would stand me up on the table and my sister and I would sing
duets," she recalls.
By age 5, Cindy Diane discovered her first musical
hero - Barbra Streisand in "Funny Girl" sparking the desire for a
career in music. Thus, after college, she migrated to Los Angeles and
grabbed any opportunity to sing. I realized that I enjoyed singing all
types of music, but it was in singing gospel that I came alive and found
my true passion."
During this time, the Lord gently began to show Cindy Diane she had a
problem with food. It was actually through a Bible study that I was
involved in with actors and actresses Media Fellowship International.
I would see all these well-known actresses, skinny as your pinky, and
beautiful.
And after our Bible study we would sit in a circle and pray
for each other and these women would say, Im back into being bulimic
or I have to go into rehab for anorexia. I would look at them
thinking, Are you crazy? You, of all people? No way!
Then they would come to me in the circle, and I would say, You know, praise the Lord.Everythings great. Im doing fine, no problem.
Cindy Diane was in denial. She, like many others who struggle with
addictions, felt she could control her binging. I thought, Thats not
me. I can stop doing this in two weeks. In two weeks, Ill reach my goal
and itll be over.
Bulimia is characterized by episodes of binge eating, followed by
inappropriate methods of weight control (purging) such as vomiting,
fasting, enemas, excessive use of laxatives and diuretics or compulsive
exercising.
Breaking Free
It was during a mission trip to Mexico that she finally broke free of
denial. Somehow the Lord just totally ordained it. I was driving, and
my girlfriend, Jillian we had really just gotten to know each other
rode shotgun. She was another one in the circle who would never say
anything, never exposed anything.
Well, she started pouring her heart out to me on the way down there about being bulimic and all the different ways she did it.
When the group got to Mexico, Jillian came to a point where she wanted
the pastor to pray for her. She asked Cindy Diane to get him and the
three met in private.
Jillian just started pouring her heart out to him, says Cindy Diane. After about 20 minutes of listening to Jillian crying and explaining how she felt about herself and being bulimic, Pastor Bob looked at me and said, How do you feel about this?
Cindy Diane was taken aback. Then she replied, Well, to tell you the
truth, everything that she said is exactly the way I feel. Her pastor
said, C.D., do you know that if somebody has a secret on the inside of
them, it has control of them? That secret has control of you. But if you
will let it out, the Holy Spirit can gain control of it and set you
free. So, what are you going to do?
And I said, Im bulimic. It was the weirdest thing to come out of my
mouth. Her pastor then asked if she wanted to be free and prayed for
her. I was totally delivered from that night on, although it has been a
process. It wasnt like one day of deliverance. God had been dealing
with me and I was just ready and I surrendered. God is so patient with
us and faithful to bring us the right people, the right circumstances,
and it works.
Deliverance, Round Two
A few years after admitting she was bulimic, God delivered Cindy Diane
from another life struggle. She fell to her knees one evening,
worshipping the Lord. I was so free and so thankful. But the Holy
Spirit showed me a vision of how I had built a dam up in my heart of
bitterness and unforgiveness.
My scripture at the time was Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me and know my thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me. I would pray, Remove it from me that I may walk in the way everlasting. That had been my prayer every day for a year. The Lord would not let me get away he said, Call your dad.
So I got up, without hesitation, and called my dad. I asked him to
forgive me for holding bitterness in my heart. He did. I told him what
had happened the night before, which is an amazing story. And he said,
Praise God. Praise the Lord. He had become a Christian. We didnt get
into any deep discussion, but we bridged the gap. We hadnt talked to
each other in a year.
Because Cindy Diane often speaks and sings at local and regional women's
events, she is grateful to have the restoration in her own life that
enables her to help others. "So many women come to me at events and say
that they are struggling with these same issues of forgiveness. I
encourage them, through my testimony, to check their hearts and begin
the process of forgiving."
Behind Bars
Not one to shrink away from loving the most troubled souls, Cindy Diane
has ministered for years behind bars. Ive had people ask me if I was
intimidated about going into prisons, she recalls. I think that I was
just so naïve that I didnt even know to be [afraid]. I was 21 when I
started doing prison ministry.
She found a kindred soul when she met her husband, Eric Kittleson. When
we got married, he went into the prisons and jails with me. The man who
Id always gone in with previously, his names Frank Pica; I call him
Papa Frank now. Hes like a dad to me.
He was an ex-convict, in with
the Mafia, back east in New Jersey. He got saved in jail and so hes
gone back to minister. Thats what he does full time."
Several years ago, Cindy Diane and Eric helped Pica found I AM New Life
Ministries, an aftercare program providing spiritual and vocational
training, drug rehabilitation, family support and community placement
for ex-convicts.
I was going with Papa Frank into prisons all these years, and he always had this dream in his heart to start an after-care program, because the statistics for prisoners going back in isincredible, around 90 percent. I know thats the case. Wed go from jail to another and see the same girls or the same guys.
Cindy Diane attributes the success of the ministry to its structure:
Theres very intensive spiritual training in the Word, and in prayer.
Its very strict. Through the spiritual training and the Bible study,
they get stirred up about Whats my calling? What does the Lord want
me to do?
Theres vocational training to help them find a job, find a niche. And then, a lot of community service, community involvement. Its a nine-month program. When they come out of there, theyre really set to be walking their born-again life.
Its powerful. Anytime you go there, its like, You were an ex-convict? No way! Their lives are so transformed.
Prisons hold a special place in Cindy Dianes heart because it was in a
jail that her vision for ministry through music first came alive.
"There I was, a midwestern girl, singing before a rowdy crowd of
convicted criminals. I will never forget this tough-looking prisoner who
was heckling me as I sang.
He began listening to the music, and I watched in amazement as the countenance of this man was completelytransformed. The next thing I knew, his head was in his hands and he broke down and accepted Jesus.
I realized this is what I wanted to do - to see music draw people to Christ."
