Need some help, prayed to satan under duress from OCD

[Harley.]

So I have OCD. I am actually doing much better, but I do have some religious themes still. One of those themes is about praying to satan. My ocd will tell me "if you dont pray about X, then Y will happen". And naturally I finally broke down and prayed to satan for X. Which I hated doing, and would never do on my own tuition. Anyhow, a few days later X happened. Now im terrified, did satan really hear? Did I just damn myself forever? Ive apologized to God but I dont know if this is just a coincidence or not? Im so scared. I really dont know what to do.

I would like to add the X is a good thing, it was about this girl (ik how petty of me) who is also a Christian, and about her liking me. Basically to have her confess her feeling to me. Which I never would ask for either way, even from God. If a girl doesnt like me then she doesnt like me, I would never ask a deity to change that. God will supply a relationship when its time. I just dont know if this is from God or Satan now.

 

[Mari17]

So I have OCD. I am actually doing much better, but I do have some religious themes still. One of those themes is about praying to satan. My ocd will tell me "if you dont pray about X, then Y will happen". And naturally I finally broke down and prayed to satan for X. Which I hated doing, and would never do on my own tuition. Anyhow, a few days later X happened. Now im terrified, did satan really hear? Did I just damn myself forever? Ive apologized to God but I dont know if this is just a coincidence or not? Im so scared. I really dont know what to do.

I would like to add the X is a good thing, it was about this girl (ik how petty of me) who is also a Christian, and about her liking me. Basically to have her confess her feeling to me. Which I never would ask for either way, even from God. If a girl doesnt like me then she doesnt like me, I would never ask a deity to change that. God will supply a relationship when its time. I just dont know if this is from God or Satan now.

Thank you for reaching out! I have had similar obsessions. Are you currently getting any help for your OCD?

 

[Harley.]

Thank you for reaching out! I have had similar obsessions. Are you currently getting any help for your OCD?

I am yes, and im doing much better. Just this one is a little too real yknow? I typically would pursue this relationship but now im not sure if I should.

 

[Mari17]

I am yes, and im doing much better. Just this one is a little too real yknow? I typically would pursue this relationship but now im not sure if I should.

I am glad that you are doing better! I know how hard it is with OCD though. It likes to keep shifting and changing its angles to try to keep us obsessing! It sounds like you are making a good choice by trusting God for a relationship. Maybe this is also a good opportunity to practice trusting that He knows your mind and heart, and that even if you feel that your mind does something you do not want it to do, He is bigger and more powerful than that.

 

[Harley.]

I am glad that you are doing better! I know how hard it is with OCD though. It likes to keep shifting and changing its angles to try to keep us obsessing! It sounds like you are making a good choice by trusting God for a relationship. Maybe this is also a good opportunity to practice trusting that He knows your mind and heart, and that even if you feel that your mind does something you do not want it to do, He is bigger and more powerful than that.

yeah I know that. And I try to tell myself that. Its just I think satan may have answered this, and I dont want to go through with this relationship if it isnt from God. But IDK WHO ITS FROM!

 

[Mari17]

OCD is very good at picking up on coincidences. Personally, I do not think that doing a compulsion is the same as actually meaning to and wanting to pray to Satan. (Though of course in the future I do not think you should do compulsions like these.) I understand how you feel, because I used to be afraid that I was praying to Satan. But God knows that we do not really want to, and He is much more powerful than Satan anyway!