Keep your neighbours' highest interest first. Love them by warning them.

[1Tonne]

I just watched a video which was on the topic of telling the truth in love. It pointed out that loving someone often means that we have to confront them with something that they may not like. This made me think of how we need to tell the lost that they have sinned and are under Gods judgement. If we truly love them, then we will warn them as soon as possible. We need to put their highest interests first. Their eternity.
Many of us delay telling the Gospel to people because we do not want to offend the lost. We do not want to hurt their feelings.
But sometimes love is to press that hot button. Sometimes love is to go to that place that makes someone uncomfortable.
Jesus was the greatest example of this. He said to the Samaritan woman, “Go and get your husband,” when she had many husbands. He pushed the hot button. Or, when the rich young ruler said, “I'll follow you”, Jesus replies, “Sell everything you have”. Wow, how hard would that be? Jesus pushed the hot button again. Or the pharisees said, “We're children of Abraham”, and Jesus says, actually you're children of Satan because you can't stop sinning.
If we truly love our neighbour or the lost, we will tell them of the condemnation that they are under. We will not wait. We will do as Jesus did and push the hot button. We will not procrastinate. Their eternity is at stake.
So, what do you put first, your neighbours' feelings or their eternal wellbeing? Choose to love them.

 

[ALittleTalkWithJesus]

I often struggle with the timing on this. I've spoken too early before and the relationship shut down before it got started. A wise person once told me I can't necessarily judge the rightness of my actions based on someone's response, which I do agree with. I always think of the example of a friend of mine who was acting like a hooligan in a park when she was twelve, and man came up to her to say that Jesus loved her. She cussed him out. But a year or so later, she got saved, and credits that man with planting a seed.

Still, I suppose what I find myself wondering, is if all of my interactions with unsaved people should immediately begin with the verbal gospel, regardless of whether it turns people away. I work in an environment where people get a reputation quickly for being Christian fanatics for saying mild things. I don't care about my reputation, per se, just pondering if waiting for my moment allows more gospel to be heard. I've had some success with showing Christ's love via my actions for a while, which has led to natural opportunities to share the gospel.

At the end of the day, it goes back to having spiritual discernment for each case, rather than a legalistic rule, but it's something I think and pray about often.

 

[1Tonne]

A wise person once told me I can't necessarily judge the rightness of my actions based on someone's response, which I do agree with.

Another example of loving someone even at the expense of their feelings is if your son asked you, “Can I go to a party?”. You know that there is going to be alcohol and drugs at the party. And so, you tell him “No”. He then feels angry and bitter towards you. Were you showing him love? Yes, you were. In fact, it would be unloving to let him go to the party.

I've had some success with showing Christ's love via my actions for a while, which has led to natural opportunities to share the gospel.
At the end of the day, it goes back to having spiritual discernment for each case, rather than a legalistic rule, but it's something I think and pray about often.

We do need to be careful how we approach people in our everyday lives. If going to a job interview at a factory, it would not be wise to say the Good News during this process (I normally say the bad news with the Good News because a person has to know why they need the good news before they will accept it). Sometimes it is better to wait until the opportunity comes up. Create a friendship/relationship and then when the opportunity arises, share the Gospel. This is where friendship evangelism comes in. So, use wisdom. As time goes on, even try to create opportunities to say the Good News. We all live our lives, and we are to live in a way that would honour God. As we do this make friends and then share the Gospel.

Now, in other threads, I have said that we need to put proclamation evangelism above friendship evangelism within the churches. I still think that this is correct. The reason for this is there is not one biblical president where Jesus did friendship evangelism. That is, there is not one biblical president where Jesus got alongside someone and then did not talk about the things of God until He thought the person was comfortable enough to receive it. If we look at what Jesus did, we will see that He spoke to people about the things of God often. And He done this by telling the truth in love. And loving someone often means that we have to confront them with something that they may not like. This can be offensive, and it can often scare some away. Just like Jesus confronted the woman at the well, the rich young ruler and the pharisees.
As disciples, we should be following His example. So, we are to push the hot button.
If we truly love the lost, we will tell them of the condemnation that they are under. We will not wait. We will do as Jesus did and push the hot button. We will show them how they have sinned against God. Their eternity is at stake.

Jesus also pointed out was that the world hated Him because He showed them their sin. And, if we follow His example, that the world will hate us too. It will not love us. He did not say that the world loves me because I became friends with everyone.
But sadly, many churches have chosen to be acceptable, and they do not want to push the hot button. They have chosen friendship evangelism over what Jesus did. They do not speak about sin. If they do, they just skim it. They do not speak about the righteousness of God. And they do not speak about Gods justice and His judgement to come. The message has become one that will not offend. And this is done with the intent that the message will not scare people off. It will not push the hot button. It will not cause the world to hate them. These churches want to be loved by the world.

 

[ALittleTalkWithJesus]

Thank you for your response. Reading this helped me realize something I hadn't quite articulated before, that the reason it feels different in this stage of life is my difference of vocation. I grew up in and worked in ministry, so most of my interactions with people started from a foundation of them typically knowing at least the basics of what I stood for and what kinds of things I would be discussing if we forged a relationship. In Jesus' time, even those who didn't believe in or understand his deity at least knew him as a religious teacher. He was still hated plenty, but at least they knew what they were getting when they spoke to him. When I took on a secular vocation, it put me in a place where far fewer people would have that automatic foundational knowledge of who I am. For example, previously I could start a meeting with prayer. Where I work now, that would not be allowed. That doesn't mean I can't still have a strong witness, both in word and deed, but I have to be more creative in my approach now.

 

[1Tonne]

I have to be more creative in my approach now

Yes. This can be hard and at times it can take a while to get to the place where people will start to ask about your Christian walk. But when you do get the chance, ask them if they think that they will go to heaven. Whatever they say, then ask them if they have broken any of Gods law. Have they lied, stolen, blasphemed, looked with lust? This will make them realise that they have fallen short of Gods standards. Then you can point out to them that one day, they will be judged. This may make them a little worried, but it will give them a reason to run to the cross. Then you can give them the Good News. Psalms 19:7 "The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul"
John Wesley said, “Before I preach love, mercy, and grace, I must preach sin, Law, and judgment.” It was Wesley who said, “Preach ninety-percent Law and ten percent grace.”

 

[1Tonne]

Just found some great quotes that Charles Spurgeon said. He speaks about using the Law to show how people fall short of Gods standards. This is what Jesus was doing when He pushed the hot button with the woman at the well, the rich young ruler and the pharisees.
So, when Charles Spurgeon was talking about the great harvest, he said, "He who preaches the Gospel without preaching the Law of God, may hold all the results of it in his hand and there will be little for him to hold." I believe this will be the case with many believers who choose to not offend by showing others their wrongdoing. Which often happens in seeker friendly churches. (Also read 1 Cor 3:12-15)
He also said, "I do not believe that any man can preach the gospel who does not preach the Law." He then went on to say, "Lower the Law and you dim the light by which man perceives his guilt; this lessens the likelihood of his conviction and conversion. If you set the law aside, you deprive the gospel of its most powerful weapon; that is the rebuke that brings men to Christ. Therefore, the Law serves a most necessary purpose, and it must not be removed from its place." Charles Spurgeon

NOTE: The word rebuke (underlined) was originally "School Master".