Joke #58392423472 Code: Bwhahahahaa!

Sharky

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Jul 5, 2002
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<H2>Atheist In Woods</H2>

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the "accident of evolution" had created. "What majestic trees! What a powerful river! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he walked alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look and saw a 7-foot grizzly charging towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He ran even faster, so scared that tears were coming to his eyes. He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run faster still. He tripped and fell to the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear... right on top of him... reaching for him with the left paw and raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the atheist cried out "Oh my God!...."

Suddenly, time stopped. The bear froze in motion. The forest was ever so silent. Even the river ceased to move. As a brilliant ray of light emerged from the sky and shone upon the man, a powerful voice spoke to him, "You have denied my existence for all of these years; you teach others that I do not exist and you credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you now as a believer?"

The atheist blinked directly into the light. "It would be hypocritical of me to convert to a Christian after all these years, but could you instead make the bear a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice from above. The bright light disappeared. All of a sudden, life resumed around the man. The river ran again. The forest became alive once more with the gentle sounds of nature.

The bear stirred. Slowly, he lowered his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and graciously spoke: "Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful."
 
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Originally posted by A Sheep
Where are the other "five billion, eight hundred and thirty nine million, two hundred and forty two thousand, three hundred and forty seven" jokes?

Yeah Sharky,

If they're even half as good as this one, I'm on the edge of my seat waiting to hear them.

&nbsp;

Patty
 
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JLovesUSo

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Nice one Sharky......I got one I heard the other day that was pretty funny:

A man was praying to God and He asked God "God, um....can I ask you a question?"

God answers, "yes, My son....ask away"

So the man asks God "God, what does a million years seem like to you?"

God answers, "My son, a million years to&nbsp;you is like a second to me..."

All the man can say is "Wow".&nbsp; And then He procedes and asks God "Um, Lord....can I ask another question?"&nbsp; To which God replies, "Of course My son".

So the man asks, "Um, so God, what is a million dollars like to you then?"

God answers, "A million dollars to you is like a penny to me -&nbsp;My son...."

So the man then asks God, "Um, Lord.......can I ask like 1 more question?"

God says, "Of course My son....."

The man asks, "God, can I....like.....um.....have a million dollars?"

And God says, "Of course My son, just a second......" :p
 
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I found this one on another website:



Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort
from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to
God's children.

After creating Heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing He said to them was: "Don't."

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We got forbidden fruit? Hey, Eve... We got
Forbidden Fruit!"

"No way!"

"Yes WAY!"

"Don't eat that fruit!" said God.

"Why?"

"Because I'm your Creator and I said so!" said God, wondering
why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants.

A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and
was angry.&nbsp; "Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?"

"I dunno," Eve answered.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did Not!"

"DID so!"

"DID NOT!!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that
Adam and Eve should have children of their own.
 
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JagSayon

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Originally posted by Patty
"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did Not!"

"DID so!"

"DID NOT!!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that
Adam and Eve should have children of their own.

LMAO! Brings back to childhood memories of tustling with your siblings eh?

JagSayon
 
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