Last October, my fiance (23) proposed to me and I (23) said yes. We announced our good news to our parents and his mother (his father passed away) who has been fully supportive of us from the day we've met was ecstatic. My parents who are a minister couple, on the other hand, weren't. I graduated from university last May with a science degree and will be attending graduate school in California. My fiance is also planning on seminary in California and is graduating from bible college in a couple months.
My parents have asked us to wait 3 more years until we're done grad school and I have a stable job. Because my father's a pastor, they have very high expectations for my fiance and his ministry. Both my parents have very good intentions toward us. But, they can't come to terms with the fact that we will both be in school (my fiance will be working part-time) if we get married this year. They feel that we're copping out and mixing up our priorities. They feel that schooling should come first and we should have a stable income.
We are both planning on going to California for school anyway, and have been dating for three years to this date. We desperately do not want to wait another three years. We are confident in this decision, but my parents (also being conservative Asians) say that they will not come to the wedding and that I will be cut off from the family forever.
They say that as their child that I should not only respect but also obey their decision. I believe that a parental blessing is very important, but I also do believe that they are asking for more than a consideration of their opinion, but complete surrender of to their will. My fiance can't find it in him to wait another 3 years while being separate in California and my parents won't budge. I want to push forward with our decision, but am fearful of the repercussions of a marriage without a parental blessing.
Independence is definitely needed.
What is a girl to do?
My parents have asked us to wait 3 more years until we're done grad school and I have a stable job. Because my father's a pastor, they have very high expectations for my fiance and his ministry. Both my parents have very good intentions toward us. But, they can't come to terms with the fact that we will both be in school (my fiance will be working part-time) if we get married this year. They feel that we're copping out and mixing up our priorities. They feel that schooling should come first and we should have a stable income.
We are both planning on going to California for school anyway, and have been dating for three years to this date. We desperately do not want to wait another three years. We are confident in this decision, but my parents (also being conservative Asians) say that they will not come to the wedding and that I will be cut off from the family forever.
They say that as their child that I should not only respect but also obey their decision. I believe that a parental blessing is very important, but I also do believe that they are asking for more than a consideration of their opinion, but complete surrender of to their will. My fiance can't find it in him to wait another 3 years while being separate in California and my parents won't budge. I want to push forward with our decision, but am fearful of the repercussions of a marriage without a parental blessing.
Independence is definitely needed.
What is a girl to do?