I'm losing faith in girls.

[HunterT98]

I hate to go into a backstory, but to better understand how I feel, it is necessary.

So there's this girl, and I've basically had a very, very large crush on her since 8th grade. When I first met her, I loved the way she stood out from the other girls: she never talked bad about anybody, she didn't cuss, she was sweet, funny, and smart— the smartest in the class. As time has gone on though, she's really started to blend in with all the other girls; she's grown attached to the secular lifestyle and ideology. This really hurts me. I'm not a judgemental person, I treat everybody the same and I never condemn anybody based on the way they act or the things they do, but it really hurts me to see such an amazing girl just lose her individuality like that. Not only this, but lately she's really been treating me like crap: she ignores me, gets mad at me for simple stuff, and talks bad about me, and I can't think of anything I've done wrong to her! Like I seriously make it part of my life to build her up and make her feel special, not so she will like me, but so she doesn't feel the need to look to others to feel loved.

This girl, however, is just a reason why I'm distressed. I'm really not looking for a relationship right now at all; I'm only 17 and I plan on going into the military when I graduate anyways, but I feel like my efforts in finding an attractive, cool, Christian girl when I get back will be futile. Every girl I know (with the exception of one friend) is always talking about all the stuff they've done with guys, or about all the crazy stuff they want to do in college, or all the money they want to make and stuff they want, and it's all going to gain them nothing. Just a couple more examples: I wore a PORN KILLS LOVE shirt to school one day, knowing I'd receive nothing but flack for it, but also knowing my life is not my own and there is a will much higher than mine. I was nervous, though, when I found that I hardly had any guys making fun of me, it was primarily girls (note: I still get joked on today, yet I do not regret it). Second example: I just got back from a family gathering and I sat with all my girl cousins (all of whom are younger than me) and heard the entire time about doing stuff with guys, and seeing Porn clips some of this even came from an 11 year old!

Now I know I'm not perfect— I have the same lustful, lazy, and selfish tendencies as many others my age, but I want nothing more than to live out God's plan for my life, I just feel like I'm going to have to do it alone. Any advice?

 

[The Portuguese Baptist]

I hate to go into a backstory, but to better understand how I feel, it is necessary.

So there's this girl, and I've basically had a very, very large crush on her since 8th grade. When I first met her, I loved the way she stood out from the other girls: she never talked bad about anybody, she didn't cuss, she was sweet, funny, and smart— the smartest in the class. As time has gone on though, she's really started to blend in with all the other girls; she's grown attached to the secular lifestyle and ideology. This really hurts me. I'm not a judgemental person, I treat everybody the same and I never condemn anybody based on the way they act or the things they do, but it really hurts me to see such an amazing girl just lose her individuality like that. Not only this, but lately she's really been treating me like crap: she ignores me, gets mad at me for simple stuff, and talks bad about me, and I can't think of anything I've done wrong to her! Like I seriously make it part of my life to build her up and make her feel special, not so she will like me, but so she doesn't feel the need to look to others to feel loved.

This girl, however, is just a reason why I'm distressed. I'm really not looking for a relationship right now at all; I'm only 17 and I plan on going into the military when I graduate anyways, but I feel like my efforts in finding an attractive, cool, Christian girl when I get back will be futile. Every girl I know (with the exception of one friend) is always talking about all the stuff they've done with guys, or about all the crazy stuff they want to do in college, or all the money they want to make and stuff they want, and it's all going to gain them nothing. Just a couple more examples: I wore a PORN KILLS LOVE shirt to school one day, knowing I'd receive nothing but flack for it, but also knowing my life is not my own and there is a will much higher than mine. I was nervous, though, when I found that I hardly had any guys making fun of me, it was primarily girls (note: I still get joked on today, yet I do not regret it). Second example: I just got back from a family gathering and I sat with all my girl cousins (all of whom are younger than me) and heard the entire time about doing stuff with guys, and seeing Porn clips some of this even came from an 11 year old!

Now I know I'm not perfect— I have the same lustful, lazy, and selfish tendencies as many others my age, but I want nothing more than to live out God's plan for my life, I just feel like I'm going to have to do it alone. Any advice?

I can absolutely understand what you are feeling (except for the part where you said you are not looking for a relationship right now, because I am — but that's a story for another time). I am losing faith in all Mankind, for that purpose (not just girls). Our world is corrupted by sin and tainted by sin, and sin is nothing we should not expect from it.

Sex is something very pleasant, and it is absolutely comprehensible that someone should be willing to do it illicitly. It is very common to hear teens talking about how they have had or want to have sex. Worse still, I recognise I would probably be in that same group if I had not been born in a Christian household; I am very thankful that God saved me from this great deal of immorality. Nevertheless, I am not perfect, and I still fall into the temptation of lust sometimes. The difference between us and the others is that we realise, when we do it, we are doing something wrong and we repent — but they do not, and instead keep on doing it because it feels good and they fail to understand the problem.

If you want advice of what to do with them, you should share the Gospel with them, show them that they have sinned (it does not have to be the sin of lust or illicit sex), tell them that Jesus came to set them free from sin, and pray that their eyes will be opened and they will convert.

If you want advice of what to do with yourself, then just go to church and meet some godly girls there, and talk with your pastor about any difficult issues you may have. If God really wants you to get married eventually, he has in mind the perfect girl for you: a truly Christian girl who will not lead you into temptation.

Feel free to talk to me if you want to talk about something. God bless you!

 

[thehehe]

And we -girls- lose our faith in boys. How much times I heard "all the boys are the same, they are just searching for fun and sex"?
You said this girl was very smart. If she really is, she will wake up one day and show her individuality again! To be, to speak and to think like everyone else is the classic attitude of a teenage girl. Wait some years and she will be herself again. Now when it comes to the way she treats you, she should be ashamed (even if she probably doesn't consider how hurting she can be). Let teenage girls have their age! Some of them will think and act like foolish people and sometimes deeply regret it later. Just as teenage boys do. Be proud, you act like a right person, and trust your future: the girl you're looking for does exist. Perhaps you haven't met her yet. But please, don't lose your faith in girls. A lot of us are totally lost during their youth. A lot of us are just asking for help and real love by acting in a foolish and "cool" way. If you keep your head up high in all this stuff and resist the storm of the teenage life, then you could find a girl who is doing the same thing. Girls of "Good"exist: every girl is a daughter of God and every girl can do beautiful and healthy things. You have to believe in us!

 

[The Portuguese Baptist]

[...] Some of them will think and act like foolish people and sometimes deeply regret it later. Just as teenage boys do. [...]

Er...