I did more kinds of dope than I didn't do. I've been clean since May 16, 1987. PM me if you need to talk to someone.
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Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist
I'm a recovering addict...
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oldrooster
Thank You Jerry
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Sorry to take so long to reply, ofactry.
Bottom line by the grace of God.
Long version I walked into an NA meeting, heard a lot of things that sounded familiar and stuck around. I prayed. Went to 7 to 14 meetings a week, arrived early to help set up, stayed late to help clean up, and didnt hesitate to use all the phone numbers I got (especially late, late at night when I was alone in my own head and itching to get high). I prayed more. I stopped seeing anyone who used; I didnt make a big deal about how I dont get high anymore, I just stopped calling or returning calls and always seemed to have somewhere else I needed to be (like, a meeting). I kept praying. As was suggested, I made sure to NOT get involved with any of the women who hit on me if they were interested in me, then they were much to sick to be good for my recovery. For the same reason, I also refused to hit on newcomers. I prayed more fervently. I got a sponsor, and took on service commitments coffee guy, group secretary, helpline. If you want a HUGE help to your recovery, volunteer for a helpline shift, theres nothing like talking to a desperate active addict at 3:00 AM to give you a shot of gratitude. I continued to pray. I did step work with my sponsor, and to the best of my ability started making decisions based on right and wrong and on what was best for my recovery rather than what was convenient or comfortable.
And, in case I didnt mention it, I PRAYED A LOT.
And dont you know, it started to get easier to not get high. I started to take better care of myself. I found myself becoming able to deal effectively with situations that would have baffled me before. I stopped feeling like dirt wrapped in skin. I began to seriously seek Gods will for my life, to want to know Him better and to pray for His guidance in finding Him.
Now its been so long since I really itched to get high that I dont remember when it was. I havent lost ALL attachment to it, but Im getting there every once in a while the thought passes through my mind and it seems attractive, but when I pray and play the whole script out to the part where I want to kill myself it loses its glamour. Most of the time I find the idea of using to be repugnant.
Thank God.
Bottom line by the grace of God.
Long version I walked into an NA meeting, heard a lot of things that sounded familiar and stuck around. I prayed. Went to 7 to 14 meetings a week, arrived early to help set up, stayed late to help clean up, and didnt hesitate to use all the phone numbers I got (especially late, late at night when I was alone in my own head and itching to get high). I prayed more. I stopped seeing anyone who used; I didnt make a big deal about how I dont get high anymore, I just stopped calling or returning calls and always seemed to have somewhere else I needed to be (like, a meeting). I kept praying. As was suggested, I made sure to NOT get involved with any of the women who hit on me if they were interested in me, then they were much to sick to be good for my recovery. For the same reason, I also refused to hit on newcomers. I prayed more fervently. I got a sponsor, and took on service commitments coffee guy, group secretary, helpline. If you want a HUGE help to your recovery, volunteer for a helpline shift, theres nothing like talking to a desperate active addict at 3:00 AM to give you a shot of gratitude. I continued to pray. I did step work with my sponsor, and to the best of my ability started making decisions based on right and wrong and on what was best for my recovery rather than what was convenient or comfortable.
And, in case I didnt mention it, I PRAYED A LOT.
And dont you know, it started to get easier to not get high. I started to take better care of myself. I found myself becoming able to deal effectively with situations that would have baffled me before. I stopped feeling like dirt wrapped in skin. I began to seriously seek Gods will for my life, to want to know Him better and to pray for His guidance in finding Him.
Now its been so long since I really itched to get high that I dont remember when it was. I havent lost ALL attachment to it, but Im getting there every once in a while the thought passes through my mind and it seems attractive, but when I pray and play the whole script out to the part where I want to kill myself it loses its glamour. Most of the time I find the idea of using to be repugnant.
Thank God.
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Chilehed, that's interesting. How involved with NA are you, now?
Here's my history. I started using drugs and drinking at 17, and eventually sort of outgrew most of the drugs. I just lost interest in that stuff. The few times I did coke, I did not get high. I only got a craving for more, but never did feel good, so that was a waste of money and effort. I did heroin a couple of times, and I liked it so much that I never touched it again. I kept drinking into my 30's when it became apparent to me that it was a problem. I had a rocky period of several years with on and off sobriety. I eventually gave up on AA and had more success. I was sober for 3 years and then found myself in a lonely, stressful situation and starting drinking. That only lasted a couple of months until I got a DWI and got sober again for 6 years. After 2 years I regained my faith in God and found out how to be sort-of normal. At the five year mark I had to attend an outpatient treatment in order to regain my driver's license, and that was the only time in the 6 years that I associated with the standard recovery people and programs. It made me want to drink for the first time in years. At the six year mark I became very ill and thought I was dying. I could not get adequate medical help. I knew I needed to break the cycle somehow and turned to booze again. I had a very rocky period of about a year, which included a 28 day inpatient treatment. I got drunk 2 weeks after treatment. I finally got sober a little over a year ago. I finally got some medical care that actually works and I'm feeling pretty good. Unfortunately, I am now forced to attend a supervised group meeting once a week. It completely messes with my head for two days. As soon as I walk in the place I want to drink. I am just fine the rest of the week, but this group is seriously messing me up.
When secret service agents and bank tellers are under training, they are never shown counterfit currency. They are only allowed to handle real bills, that way they are so familiar with the real thing, that anything else (fake) stands out. If they are shown counterfits they become confused after a while. My sobriety works the same way. I must spend most of my time with non-addicted people so I can recognize my addictive thinking when it pops up. If I am around too many addicts or around them too often, I become confused.
I'm not too sure about the "progressive nature" theory. It's pretty bad to fall off the wagon, but I don't think it is quite as bad as it is made out to be. Pretty close but no cigar. I also think that sobriety time is accumulative. After a year, I feel almost as good as if I added up all my sobriety time. It's certainly a lot better than my first time of getting a year behind me. There have been quite a few studies that confirm that what we learn drunk we remember better when drunk, and what we learn sober, we remember better when sober. That would seem to confirm my accumulative sobriety theory. It's pretty depressing to think that half of my adult life's lessons are fuzzy at best.
I've certainly aquired quite a lot of examles of what not to do. For me sobriety is not about recovery. It's about everything else. It's about real life. If you tell someone not to think about scorpions, that is the one thing they will continue to think about. Normally, it would not be an issue. I don't want to be reminded every day to not think about scorpions. I would rather just go on about my business. If I happen to see a scorpion, I will recognize it and avoid it then forget about it. I don't need a scorpion paper weight on my desk to remind me not to play with scorpions. It's kind of nice to talk with other people about scorpions and compare notes, just every once in awhile, but I wouldn't want to have that as a major topic of discussion every day.
Make sense?
Here's my history. I started using drugs and drinking at 17, and eventually sort of outgrew most of the drugs. I just lost interest in that stuff. The few times I did coke, I did not get high. I only got a craving for more, but never did feel good, so that was a waste of money and effort. I did heroin a couple of times, and I liked it so much that I never touched it again. I kept drinking into my 30's when it became apparent to me that it was a problem. I had a rocky period of several years with on and off sobriety. I eventually gave up on AA and had more success. I was sober for 3 years and then found myself in a lonely, stressful situation and starting drinking. That only lasted a couple of months until I got a DWI and got sober again for 6 years. After 2 years I regained my faith in God and found out how to be sort-of normal. At the five year mark I had to attend an outpatient treatment in order to regain my driver's license, and that was the only time in the 6 years that I associated with the standard recovery people and programs. It made me want to drink for the first time in years. At the six year mark I became very ill and thought I was dying. I could not get adequate medical help. I knew I needed to break the cycle somehow and turned to booze again. I had a very rocky period of about a year, which included a 28 day inpatient treatment. I got drunk 2 weeks after treatment. I finally got sober a little over a year ago. I finally got some medical care that actually works and I'm feeling pretty good. Unfortunately, I am now forced to attend a supervised group meeting once a week. It completely messes with my head for two days. As soon as I walk in the place I want to drink. I am just fine the rest of the week, but this group is seriously messing me up.
When secret service agents and bank tellers are under training, they are never shown counterfit currency. They are only allowed to handle real bills, that way they are so familiar with the real thing, that anything else (fake) stands out. If they are shown counterfits they become confused after a while. My sobriety works the same way. I must spend most of my time with non-addicted people so I can recognize my addictive thinking when it pops up. If I am around too many addicts or around them too often, I become confused.
I'm not too sure about the "progressive nature" theory. It's pretty bad to fall off the wagon, but I don't think it is quite as bad as it is made out to be. Pretty close but no cigar. I also think that sobriety time is accumulative. After a year, I feel almost as good as if I added up all my sobriety time. It's certainly a lot better than my first time of getting a year behind me. There have been quite a few studies that confirm that what we learn drunk we remember better when drunk, and what we learn sober, we remember better when sober. That would seem to confirm my accumulative sobriety theory. It's pretty depressing to think that half of my adult life's lessons are fuzzy at best.
I've certainly aquired quite a lot of examles of what not to do. For me sobriety is not about recovery. It's about everything else. It's about real life. If you tell someone not to think about scorpions, that is the one thing they will continue to think about. Normally, it would not be an issue. I don't want to be reminded every day to not think about scorpions. I would rather just go on about my business. If I happen to see a scorpion, I will recognize it and avoid it then forget about it. I don't need a scorpion paper weight on my desk to remind me not to play with scorpions. It's kind of nice to talk with other people about scorpions and compare notes, just every once in awhile, but I wouldn't want to have that as a major topic of discussion every day.
Make sense?
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oldrooster
Thank You Jerry
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o'factry,
Makes sense up to a point. I certainly can relate to the way that people who cant get past their war stories can drag you down. I had to make a point of not hanging around with them, and of going to meetings that had a high percentage of people with lots of clean time AND good recovery. I imagine that youve spoken up in your group about this.
And yes, the whole point of getting off of drugs is to go on and get clean. Take a good look at the steps and notice that the only one that has anything to do with getting high is the first one. The rest are about doing what it takes to make the spiritual changes necessary to become real human beings, and once you become focused on that the war stories become pretty irrelevant. My recovery quickly became NOT about drugs (its not unusual to hear this from people with clean time), and indeed NA literature mentions that staying clean, as important as it is, merely gives us the opportunity to work on the real issues. Take care of those, and the desire to use fades.
As Christians, we do a number of things that are closely mirrored by 12 step programs. We become convicted of our sins (Step 1), are convinced that God could save us and that He would if we asked Him (Steps 2 and 3), make an examination of conscience (Step 4), confess our sins (Step 5), make acts of contrition and penance (Steps 6 through 10), draw closer to God (Step 11), and tell other people the news (Step 12). It seems to me that your scorpion analogy could just as well be used as a reason to not go to church.
I certainly dont think that NA is the only place people can recover from addiction, but its the place that worked for me and everyone that Ive known in the RW who really got with it has stayed clean. One of my concerns about getting out of touch with recovering addicts is that they seem to be the only people Ive found who can reliably judge when Im getting into sick thinking and who are willing to get in my face about it. Non-addicts are easy to fool, and by definition I cant reliably protect myself from self-deception. Besides, how am I supposed to help others if I dont go where there are people who can benefit from the experience, strength and hope that God's graced me with?
Ive heard thousands of people talk about what happened when they went back out. Youre the first Ive heard say its not as bad as its made out to be, except for those who were still using.
Makes sense up to a point. I certainly can relate to the way that people who cant get past their war stories can drag you down. I had to make a point of not hanging around with them, and of going to meetings that had a high percentage of people with lots of clean time AND good recovery. I imagine that youve spoken up in your group about this.
And yes, the whole point of getting off of drugs is to go on and get clean. Take a good look at the steps and notice that the only one that has anything to do with getting high is the first one. The rest are about doing what it takes to make the spiritual changes necessary to become real human beings, and once you become focused on that the war stories become pretty irrelevant. My recovery quickly became NOT about drugs (its not unusual to hear this from people with clean time), and indeed NA literature mentions that staying clean, as important as it is, merely gives us the opportunity to work on the real issues. Take care of those, and the desire to use fades.
As Christians, we do a number of things that are closely mirrored by 12 step programs. We become convicted of our sins (Step 1), are convinced that God could save us and that He would if we asked Him (Steps 2 and 3), make an examination of conscience (Step 4), confess our sins (Step 5), make acts of contrition and penance (Steps 6 through 10), draw closer to God (Step 11), and tell other people the news (Step 12). It seems to me that your scorpion analogy could just as well be used as a reason to not go to church.
I certainly dont think that NA is the only place people can recover from addiction, but its the place that worked for me and everyone that Ive known in the RW who really got with it has stayed clean. One of my concerns about getting out of touch with recovering addicts is that they seem to be the only people Ive found who can reliably judge when Im getting into sick thinking and who are willing to get in my face about it. Non-addicts are easy to fool, and by definition I cant reliably protect myself from self-deception. Besides, how am I supposed to help others if I dont go where there are people who can benefit from the experience, strength and hope that God's graced me with?
Ive heard thousands of people talk about what happened when they went back out. Youre the first Ive heard say its not as bad as its made out to be, except for those who were still using.
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Last time around it WAS terrible. It's just that I think it would have been even worse if the "progressiveness" theory is true. Supposedly I was supposed to be as bad off as if I had kept drinking for those 6 years. It that was true it would have killed me.
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The Julikenz
God is not a misogynist
Praise God for His work in you all!! He never stop sewing seeds!!!
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I was on drugs for 4 years to me that was a long time in that time frame I did a lot of different drugs(weed,cocain,speed and shrumes) I was into drinking and smoking ciggerettes partying every day and sleeping around.. After we moved back from Las Vegas,Navada 2 years ago I was still doing drugs but mainly only weed and did a couple shrumes, Then God started convicting me so strongly I couldn't do any of it if I did I would feel so bad and depressed.. I knew it was God and then in july of 2003 I gave my life to the lord 
And God has been changing me ever since that time I quit smoking ciggerettes a week before I got saved and have been free of that ever since as well.. If any of you are struggling badly then just give it to God, He will take that addiction away from you! just ask and you will recive!
God Bless,
Tiffany
And God has been changing me ever since that time I quit smoking ciggerettes a week before I got saved and have been free of that ever since as well.. If any of you are struggling badly then just give it to God, He will take that addiction away from you! just ask and you will recive!God Bless,
Tiffany
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ALRIGHT, TIFFANY!
A year, that's awesome! Yeah, I remember how I'd try to get high and only feel like dirt, it was awful. Satan is such a liar.
A year, that's awesome! Yeah, I remember how I'd try to get high and only feel like dirt, it was awful. Satan is such a liar.
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Missy Baby
God's lil princess
God Bless you all...you all did the first step to realise that you had an addiction and used God as a strong foundation to give up....Congrats on being able to stay clean....
God Bless
God Bless
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