U
USNGemenii
Guest
I great up praying to God every night, praying before I eat, went to youth group and church every Sunday and all the way up until I was 18 I was a strong person. I dared not ever break the sin of sleeping with a woman out of wedlock, and again... I turned 18.
I have taught martial arts to kids and teens since I was 14 years old. Well to put it very blunt after all the years I had waited and struggled, I lost the fight and had sex with one of the women I was training.
To keep this short and to the point I pretty much began my spiral downward. I became everything that I was taught to never become. I drink, I smoked and worst of all the one thing I was proud of, being able to say I was a virgin at the age of 18 became my biggest obsession.
I am writing this because I want to know if I am the only one that became this bad. What did others do, and most of all can God even look at me the same...
I touch, drink on a weekly basis, watch pornography daily and worst of all I have slept with well over 17 girls in the last 5 years.
I did it tonight and didn't even know her. I am lucky I know her name.
At this point in my life and can accept being judged, and I can accept anything that is thrown at me, but for the sake of me even being able to look at myself in the mirror I am only writing this because I want to know if any one has done this to themselves and did they ever make it out.
All I ask is please don't hit me to hard. I cracked tonight and I don't even know where to begin now.
I have taught martial arts to kids and teens since I was 14 years old. Well to put it very blunt after all the years I had waited and struggled, I lost the fight and had sex with one of the women I was training.
To keep this short and to the point I pretty much began my spiral downward. I became everything that I was taught to never become. I drink, I smoked and worst of all the one thing I was proud of, being able to say I was a virgin at the age of 18 became my biggest obsession.
I am writing this because I want to know if I am the only one that became this bad. What did others do, and most of all can God even look at me the same...
I touch, drink on a weekly basis, watch pornography daily and worst of all I have slept with well over 17 girls in the last 5 years.
I did it tonight and didn't even know her. I am lucky I know her name.
At this point in my life and can accept being judged, and I can accept anything that is thrown at me, but for the sake of me even being able to look at myself in the mirror I am only writing this because I want to know if any one has done this to themselves and did they ever make it out.
All I ask is please don't hit me to hard. I cracked tonight and I don't even know where to begin now.