I admit it. I'm a wimp. lol

[Jenna]

My husband has acknowledged our need to find a congregation that is closer to home, at long last. The reality that we could simply no longer travel much to attend Church was a hard understanding to come to. You see, we worship with the same congregation that I was baptized amongst, and was raised within.

There are some days when I really dislike being poor. lol I am just so thankful that my husband gifted me with an internet connection so I could at least talk to other brothers and sisters in Christ, even if I can't leave the house. It has been a real hardship though, trying to even keep a vehicle running well enough to make the drive out to church.

So, with my husband working so much, we've come to the understanding that if I want to go to church, then I have to find a way to get myself there. I've been poking my nose around a small LCMS church that is within walking distance, but I'll admit.... I'm a wimp. I haven't admitted it to anyone, but I'm actually a little afraid to show up for church by myself. Ok, that's not exactly true. I'll have my little girl with me too. Still, I hate that feeling of nervousness at meeting new people, many of whom I probably won't have much in common with.

The church that I want to visit is the only LCMS church near me, and members of my current congregation refer to it as a "dead church". (though, how a church can be 'dead', I have yet to understand) Anyway, from what I gather, there is only a small number of people there, mostly quite aged members. The service style is said to be very different from what I am used to also. My current church is very contemporary, while this other congregation is more traditional in their approach.

Now, I'm not saying that I would mind having a worship service without all of the guitars, drums, big sound system, or projector screen. Actually, I find the idea of a quiet and more reverent service to be appealing. However, I've never experienced anything like that since I was a very small child. I'm not sure if I should just try and find my way along carefully, or if I should make a point to try and find someone there who could show me the 'wheres and hows' of how they "do church".

So much rambling for such a small thing, I know......... lol

 

[SPALATIN]

My husband has acknowledged our need to find a congregation that is closer to home, at long last. The reality that we could simply no longer travel much to attend Church was a hard understanding to come to. You see, we worship with the same congregation that I was baptized amongst, and was raised within.

There are some days when I really dislike being poor. lol I am just so thankful that my husband gifted me with an internet connection so I could at least talk to other brothers and sisters in Christ, even if I can't leave the house. It has been a real hardship though, trying to even keep a vehicle running well enough to make the drive out to church.

So, with my husband working so much, we've come to the understanding that if I want to go to church, then I have to find a way to get myself there. I've been poking my nose around a small LCMS church that is within walking distance, but I'll admit.... I'm a wimp. I haven't admitted it to anyone, but I'm actually a little afraid to show up for church by myself. Ok, that's not exactly true. I'll have my little girl with me too. Still, I hate that feeling of nervousness at meeting new people, many of whom I probably won't have much in common with.

The church that I want to visit is the only LCMS church near me, and members of my current congregation refer to it as a "dead church". (though, how a church can be 'dead', I have yet to understand) Anyway, from what I gather, there is only a small number of people there, mostly quite aged members. The service style is said to be very different from what I am used to also. My current church is very contemporary, while this other congregation is more traditional in their approach.

Now, I'm not saying that I would mind having a worship service without all of the guitars, drums, big sound system, or projector screen. Actually, I find the idea of a quiet and more reverent service to be appealing. However, I've never experienced anything like that since I was a very small child. I'm not sure if I should just try and find my way along carefully, or if I should make a point to try and find someone there who could show me the 'wheres and hows' of how they "do church".

So much rambling for such a small thing, I know......... lol

Jenna,

Maybe the thing to do is go over and introduce yourself to the Pastor and see if he has time to chat about his church. I will bet dollars to donuts he will be happy to take some time for that. If he is married he may want to introduce you to his wife which can be a good thing as well. She can introduce you to many of the people in the church and by all means give it a real chance. Go there for a few months and get a real feel for everything. Small congregations have their benefits and one of them is having a community of support. You're not wimpy. if anything you are courageous for trying something that other's won't.

Scott

 

[LilLamb219]

I agree that you might want to go introduce yourself to the pastor. Perhaps there is a pictorial directory of the members that you can look through and maybe find some faces you know in person who would love to have you join them for worship on Sunday? It wouldn't hurt to ask, right?

 

[Lutherrunner]

 

[ctay]

I showed up at a new church the Sunday after Easter. It and the other church are both LCMS. I was nervous because I didn't know what to expect. The pastor came up and introduced hisself and shook my hand, other members did too. The service is a little different than what I'm used to but I love it now. The pastor gave the feeling that if I had a problem I could come to him so that's one of the reason's I stuck with the new church. My husband came to church with me there once but no one asked questions or made me feel bad that he didn't come (I'm trying to work on him on getting him to come). If I can do it, you can too.

 

[C.F.W. Walther]

You can find Christ in any setting. You can go there for your salvation and not for the atmosphere, deadness etc. The quietness can be Gods answer for our need for meditaion. "Be still and know that I am God".

 

[BigNorsk]

I wouldn't worry too much about what others say, sometimes people think that if a congregation doesn't fit them well that that means there is something wrong with the congregation. If you were getting the information from someone who really likes a more contemporary service, a lot of the judgement may be coming because of something that really isn't of that much importance.

Now you probably think that it is going to be a bit stuffy, but let's see, a new person comes, in the summer, a possible member, someone who wants to be involved, well you better watch out, you might think you wandered into a full gospel congregation by mistake.

If you aren't used to a small congregation, it can be intimidating because it is very difficult to hide. After awhile, you come to realize that you are loved and appreciated, even with your blemishes, and that can be very freeing.

It's a little like that morning you woke up and looked at your husband and realized he wasn't perfect and had some problems and you loved him even more because of that.

One other thing that could be a benefit is that since the one you have been going to is the one you grew up in, it is possible that your husband thinks of it as your church, not his. It is possible that he still feels a little bit the outsider because he doesn't share in some of those congregational memories that you have. A new congregation has a good chance of becoming "our church", I would hope that your husband doesn't just put you in charge and say whatever you decide is fine. How about him talking to the pastor and checking things out and see if he thinks its a good place to go? I hate to say it, but I don't think making this kind of decision for the family is really "your department."

Marv

Oops I forgot I was reading the subforum. I really shouldn't have posted here, please forgive me.

 

[ByzantineDixie]

Jenna, you sound like you could be my daughter. I live in a house full of shy guys...my dear husband and my two sons--everyone but me (but even I am not real eager to throw myself in unfamiliar situations). I have had to learn to be sensitive to this. Clearly it is easier to go somewhere when you take a "talker" with you. My husband can go just about anywhere with me! Do you have a girlfriend, or a sister, or a neighbor who is more outgoing and wouldn't mind going to church with you the first time? That way they can be the talker! And the pressure would be off you.

The one thing you might want to be prepared for, however, is if NO ONE talks to you...while you may not be comfortable in this new setting it can be even more unsettling, in a different way, if you are ignored. And yes, this can and does happen to visitors even in a small congregation.

So...your situation is a grab bag...you won't know until you get there. If you limit your expectations you'll do fine. Also...it has been my experience with people in your age group that they actually enjoy the more traditional style of worship. But again, you won't know until you go.

One other thing that could be a benefit is that since the one you have been going to is the one you grew up in, it is possible that your husband thinks of it as your church, not his. It is possible that he still feels a little bit the outsider because he doesn't share in some of those congregational memories that you have. A new congregation has a good chance of becoming "our church", I would hope that your husband doesn't just put you in charge and say whatever you decide is fine. How about him talking to the pastor and checking things out and see if he thinks its a good place to go? I hate to say it, but I don't think making this kind of decision for the family is really "your department."

Wise words..."our church"

Regarding selecting the new church...I agree with Marv here, it is not "your department" but most certainly you have been given to your husband by God to be his helpmate...he will value your thoughts. And if he truly isn't interested then you must do what you must to do see that your faith and the faith of your daughter is cared for and nutured.

Oops I forgot I was reading the subforum. I really shouldn't have posted here, please forgive me.

Watch it, big guy...or I'll start a thread on the Mass, the Eucharist (along with the closed table), Mary ever-virgin, the prayers of the saints, calling the pastor "father" and a whole host of perceived Romanizing ways just to torment you!

 

[filosofer]

Mary ever-virgin, the prayers of the saints, calling the pastor "father" and a whole host of perceived Romanizing ways just to torment you!

No! Stop!! Help!! We're being overrun by Romanizers!!!!

 

[Protoevangel]

Mary ever-virgin, the prayers of the saints, calling the pastor "father" and a whole host of perceived Romanizing ways just to torment you!

No! Stop!! Help!! We're being overrun by Romanizers!!!!

Yes, the dark side is strong in this one!

 

[Jenna]

Thanks so much for your thoughts, everybody! (oh, and I don't mind you posting your thoughts at all, BigNorsk)

My husband is a funny guy, and is very "brand loyal" with just about everything. His reasons may not even make much sense, other than things are the way that they are now- because they always have been. lol Sometimes it's cute, other times it is awkward. Still, he made a huge leap when he began coming to church with me, and decided to become a member, leaving the Catholic church. As soon as he made up his mind that it was ok for him to do that, "my" church became just as much "our" church.

The reason that I don't mention a whole lot about my husband when discussing visiting a different church is because he is pretty disinterested right now. Aside from the fact that he is working a great deal (and always seems to be paged out right in the middle of the sermon), he is not sharing his relationship with the Lord as he has done in times past. Quite frankly, I've been trying to very gently prod him for communication about it. I don't know if something is wrong, or if he is experiencing a less than "on fire" season in his walk. So, if I would like to visit another church and/or possibly transfer my membership, he has left that up to my discretion.

It is really funny, seeing two shy people married to each other. So many times I would like for him to hold my hand and just be with me, and I will have all the support I need to jump right in and rub elbows with people that I don't know at all. He, on the other hand, would prefer for me to make inroads first, so I can introduce him and make his experience easier. *chuckles* I feel like it is the blind leading the blind sometimes. The goofiness of it just cracks me up.

I think that it was a good idea, to simply talk to the pastor. He probably would be the best person to explain the general workings of the "family" type relationship that comes within many congregations. At least he would be able to set me up with someone better able to meet my needs, if he didn't have the ability to meet with me personally. For all the time that I've thought about going over there, it never did occur to me to talk to the pastor, as silly as that sounds. I think that it may just be because of my experience within my "home" congregation. Our pastor delegates so much to other people that it has caused me to not take cares, concerns, or questions to him- for fear that I would be bothering him with small things. That probably sounds crazy to some folks, but our church size boomed since my childhood, and things are very different now.

Boy, I sure wish I had some chatty person to drag along with me! *chuckles* Actually, that is one of the reasons why I am so determined to find a congregation near me. I am poorly lacking in friends. As I grew in faith, my previous friends had nothing pleasant to say to/about me, as they remained pagan. The only relatives that I have living nearby are also non-believers. It's hard to have good relationships with people when any mention of the things that I am passionate about earns me harsh words or dirty looks.

Well, I'm sure that no one there has 5 eyes and eats young ladies before spitting out the bones. *laughs* I'm pretty positive that I'll make it out alive. I don't even mind if folks ignore me, to be honest. I just hope that I don't do anything terribly out of place to embarrass myself. If all else fails, at least I can be the first one to laugh. From that vantage point, the crowd laughs with you. lol I guess I'll call their office and see if I can reach anyone. I need to find out if they have a Sunday school program anyway.

 

[Jim47]

Sorry if I am repeating anyone. I have read the whole thread but in days past.

One thing that will help a lot is to attend the adult Bible classes and maybe even enroll in a refresher membership course. I hope you are able to get your husband re-interested in church. Its so much nicer to go as a family.

May The Good Lord bless all your efforts.

 

[SPALATIN]

Thanks so much for your thoughts, everybody! (oh, and I don't mind you posting your thoughts at all, BigNorsk)

My husband is a funny guy, and is very "brand loyal" with just about everything. His reasons may not even make much sense, other than things are the way that they are now- because they always have been. lol Sometimes it's cute, other times it is awkward. Still, he made a huge leap when he began coming to church with me, and decided to become a member, leaving the Catholic church. As soon as he made up his mind that it was ok for him to do that, "my" church became just as much "our" church.

The reason that I don't mention a whole lot about my husband when discussing visiting a different church is because he is pretty disinterested right now. Aside from the fact that he is working a great deal (and always seems to be paged out right in the middle of the sermon), he is not sharing his relationship with the Lord as he has done in times past. Quite frankly, I've been trying to very gently prod him for communication about it. I don't know if something is wrong, or if he is experiencing a less than "on fire" season in his walk. So, if I would like to visit another church and/or possibly transfer my membership, he has left that up to my discretion.

It is really funny, seeing two shy people married to each other. So many times I would like for him to hold my hand and just be with me, and I will have all the support I need to jump right in and rub elbows with people that I don't know at all. He, on the other hand, would prefer for me to make inroads first, so I can introduce him and make his experience easier. *chuckles* I feel like it is the blind leading the blind sometimes. The goofiness of it just cracks me up.

I think that it was a good idea, to simply talk to the pastor. He probably would be the best person to explain the general workings of the "family" type relationship that comes within many congregations. At least he would be able to set me up with someone better able to meet my needs, if he didn't have the ability to meet with me personally. For all the time that I've thought about going over there, it never did occur to me to talk to the pastor, as silly as that sounds. I think that it may just be because of my experience within my "home" congregation. Our pastor delegates so much to other people that it has caused me to not take cares, concerns, or questions to him- for fear that I would be bothering him with small things. That probably sounds crazy to some folks, but our church size boomed since my childhood, and things are very different now.

Boy, I sure wish I had some chatty person to drag along with me! *chuckles* Actually, that is one of the reasons why I am so determined to find a congregation near me. I am poorly lacking in friends. As I grew in faith, my previous friends had nothing pleasant to say to/about me, as they remained pagan. The only relatives that I have living nearby are also non-believers. It's hard to have good relationships with people when any mention of the things that I am passionate about earns me harsh words or dirty looks.

Well, I'm sure that no one there has 5 eyes and eats young ladies before spitting out the bones. *laughs* I'm pretty positive that I'll make it out alive. I don't even mind if folks ignore me, to be honest. I just hope that I don't do anything terribly out of place to embarrass myself. If all else fails, at least I can be the first one to laugh. From that vantage point, the crowd laughs with you. lol I guess I'll call their office and see if I can reach anyone. I need to find out if they have a Sunday school program anyway.

Jenna,

Shy or not, take a few minutes to walk over to the church and just say hello and if nothing else just introduce yourself. Let them ask the questions and I am sure that you will pretty soon find yourself talking about your situation. The Pastor is supposed to be there for the small things as well as the big.

Sounds as if the Pastor at your regular church is more of an administrative type whereas Pastors in smaller congregations are many times hands on because no one else is there to do it for them.


Scott