How to stop loving my ex-husband

[MoCast83]

I am new to this... I feel like my family and friends don't understand or they expect me to be "all better" now. So, I'm here.

I met my ex 1 month after my 18th birthday in Mexico serving the Lord. We dated for 3 years and were married for 10. We have 2 amazing children and have been divorced for almost 2 years and separated a year before that. Long story short, he had an affair and left me for the other woman. I wanted a year while I prayed and hoped he'd return but then the Lord gave me the peace I needed to file for divorce. Three months after divorce was final he told me he was having a kid with his girlfriend who already has 3 boys... now 4.

I have been hurt, disappointed, angry and overall heartbroken but I did forgive him and her and started a new life as a single mom. I have gotten closer to the Lord who has been so gentle with me and has covered kids and I! I dated a little but feel like I can never love another. I would have died trying to save our marriage. I have to see him twice a week at kid exchanges and just don't know how I'll ever stop loving him. He's not walking with the Lord so he's not at all the man he was or a man i'd consider getting involved with but looks like the man I fell in love with. It's heartbreaking seeing him and not be able to touch him or talk to him. I pray for healing and for the day that I can look at him and feeling... nothing! I've thought about asking my parents to do all the exchanges but that's not fair for them.

He was the first and only man I have ever loved. I expected him to be the last... will my heart ever let go? I don't want him back... he tried coming back a couple months ago but he wanted to continue his current relationship too... I won't go back! But my heart hasn't let go of the past.

 

[4x4toy]

And this is why God hates divorce and adultery . I'm so sorry for you but I'm glad you have the Lord in your life . I pray for your healing and time will heal all your wounds . I pray you find new happiness more than ever before and that you mount up with wings of eagles and gain new strength Isaiah 40:31

 

[Catherineanne]

I am new to this... I feel like my family and friends don't understand or they expect me to be "all better" now. So, I'm here.

I met my ex 1 month after my 18th birthday in Mexico serving the Lord. We dated for 3 years and were married for 10. We have 2 amazing children and have been divorced for almost 2 years and separated a year before that. Long story short, he had an affair and left me for the other woman. I wanted a year while I prayed and hoped he'd return but then the Lord gave me the peace I needed to file for divorce. Three months after divorce was final he told me he was having a kid with his girlfriend who already has 3 boys... now 4.

I have been hurt, disappointed, angry and overall heartbroken but I did forgive him and her and started a new life as a single mom. I have gotten closer to the Lord who has been so gentle with me and has covered kids and I! I dated a little but feel like I can never love another. I would have died trying to save our marriage. I have to see him twice a week at kid exchanges and just don't know how I'll ever stop loving him. He's not walking with the Lord so he's not at all the man he was or a man i'd consider getting involved with but looks like the man I fell in love with. It's heartbreaking seeing him and not be able to touch him or talk to him. I pray for healing and for the day that I can look at him and feeling... nothing! I've thought about asking my parents to do all the exchanges but that's not fair for them.

He was the first and only man I have ever loved. I expected him to be the last... will my heart ever let go? I don't want him back... he tried coming back a couple months ago but he wanted to continue his current relationship too... I won't go back! But my heart hasn't let go of the past.

I am really sorry, and I can understand some of what you are describing. I divorced my h in 2000, but never married again. He died in 2011, and nobody expected me to grieve about that at all; they all thought that divorce means that all the feelings have gone.

The best I can suggest is that you give yourself some time, and grieve in your own way. But also, limit the amount of time you spend in your ex's company. He is not the man for you. In time you will learn how to not care, but in the meantime it would be better if you could ask someone else to do at least some of the exchanges. You don't need to explain why; just ask.

Your heart will catch up eventually. Just think about it; he wanted you to be his mistress, presumably without his wife knowing. Is that really the kind of man you deserve?