Hi All!
I am here looking for some advice please! I have been with my partner for 9 years, we have two children together, aged 9 and 3. I have always believed in God but wasnt practicing as a Christian and following Christ with any seriousness until about 2 years ago. My partner identifies himself as a Christian, we both believe in the Nicene Creed etc, and has been raised in a Christian family but since I have been saved and baptised I am starting to notice things God has developed in me but my partner lacks including:
-He doesnt read the bible (he doesnt like reading) and seems to have no thirst for this, whereas I feel like I want to pursue Christ more and more.
-He is still interested in a lot of worldly things/behaviours where as I have felt a pull away from things that are immoral.
Over all our years dating, at first he was always the one interested in church, then we kind of went every now and then once we moved into our own house, and now it is me who makes the effort to attend every week, whereas my partner doesnt.
We were engaged when we had been together for 4 years, and I recently began to feel a prompting from God for us to stop having pre marital sex. My partner has tried to do this with me (he didnt really agree on it and is more doing it just for me ) and we began premarital counselling, which went well. We have finished our counselling, and our Christian counsellor says I will help my partner along in his faith, and that we probably express our faith differently (he is from a different culture too), and she said we were not unequally yoked because my partner told her he has in the past asked Jesus into his heart and repented.
I have asked my partner- what will happen when I want to submit to God in something in our marriage and he doesnt- this will cause tension for sure. He says he is fine with everything else but he is really desperate for us to have sex. We have come close to setting a date and can get married in the next couple of months and im sure he would wait if a date was set, however I am stalling because I am unsure of everything. I have prayed long and hard and am still confused. The hardest thing is that I have been unfaithful to him in the past (about 6 years ago) and I believe this is why he is having so much trouble giving up the sex before marriage- i believe he feels very insecure and unloved when I am saying no to him, despite explaining why. He is really feeling down, sometimes missing work, that is how much this is affecting him. Do I show him grace and understand why this may be hard for him, and set a date ? Our relationship otherwise is good, we connect well, both have been very forgiving and sacrificing for each other and very committed (apart from my mishap at the beginning) and I feel he does show me a Christlike type of love in other ways. Where do you draw the line for showing mercy and grace? I am struggling to know how I could give up on my partner now, just because he is struggling, when he has granted me mercy and love when I have least deserved it in the past. Would God want for our children to have us married even though my partner may not have a strong a conviction as me in my faith. In the past when I have aimed to love him with an ''agape'' type love his response has been really great and I have seen some spiritual fruit developing in him. I know God does not want us to ''even eat with the immoral'' but didnt he also love us when we were stuck in sin?
Thoughts would be greatly appreciated, thankyou
I am here looking for some advice please! I have been with my partner for 9 years, we have two children together, aged 9 and 3. I have always believed in God but wasnt practicing as a Christian and following Christ with any seriousness until about 2 years ago. My partner identifies himself as a Christian, we both believe in the Nicene Creed etc, and has been raised in a Christian family but since I have been saved and baptised I am starting to notice things God has developed in me but my partner lacks including:
-He doesnt read the bible (he doesnt like reading) and seems to have no thirst for this, whereas I feel like I want to pursue Christ more and more.
-He is still interested in a lot of worldly things/behaviours where as I have felt a pull away from things that are immoral.
Over all our years dating, at first he was always the one interested in church, then we kind of went every now and then once we moved into our own house, and now it is me who makes the effort to attend every week, whereas my partner doesnt.
We were engaged when we had been together for 4 years, and I recently began to feel a prompting from God for us to stop having pre marital sex. My partner has tried to do this with me (he didnt really agree on it and is more doing it just for me ) and we began premarital counselling, which went well. We have finished our counselling, and our Christian counsellor says I will help my partner along in his faith, and that we probably express our faith differently (he is from a different culture too), and she said we were not unequally yoked because my partner told her he has in the past asked Jesus into his heart and repented.
I have asked my partner- what will happen when I want to submit to God in something in our marriage and he doesnt- this will cause tension for sure. He says he is fine with everything else but he is really desperate for us to have sex. We have come close to setting a date and can get married in the next couple of months and im sure he would wait if a date was set, however I am stalling because I am unsure of everything. I have prayed long and hard and am still confused. The hardest thing is that I have been unfaithful to him in the past (about 6 years ago) and I believe this is why he is having so much trouble giving up the sex before marriage- i believe he feels very insecure and unloved when I am saying no to him, despite explaining why. He is really feeling down, sometimes missing work, that is how much this is affecting him. Do I show him grace and understand why this may be hard for him, and set a date ? Our relationship otherwise is good, we connect well, both have been very forgiving and sacrificing for each other and very committed (apart from my mishap at the beginning) and I feel he does show me a Christlike type of love in other ways. Where do you draw the line for showing mercy and grace? I am struggling to know how I could give up on my partner now, just because he is struggling, when he has granted me mercy and love when I have least deserved it in the past. Would God want for our children to have us married even though my partner may not have a strong a conviction as me in my faith. In the past when I have aimed to love him with an ''agape'' type love his response has been really great and I have seen some spiritual fruit developing in him. I know God does not want us to ''even eat with the immoral'' but didnt he also love us when we were stuck in sin?
Thoughts would be greatly appreciated, thankyou
