I am married and I am facing a big challenge in our marriage. Please move this to the correct thread. I didn't have permissions to post. I want to separate because I was extremely disrespected and humiliated. She spat on my face. Read more for details and context...
Here is our summarized story
2017= I moved to New Zealand. By the grace of God I started to attend a wonderful Filipino bible study. I met S, now my wife. I thought she is Christian but she hides her very strong catholic background. IT is a big deal for her when someone says something negative about the catholic church. Her mom insisted is OK to date me because my parents in law like me. In the beginning she was OK going to church with me. She calls it the protestant church.
2018= A year of challenges and seeing the grace of God. I proposed marriage to S in October, I got married to S in December on a nice summer day.
2019= dealing with marriage issues, conflict resolution. One of our biggest issues is that I had a hard time waking up and managing time ( I am a south American-Colombian and I believed the lie that I couldn't do it, I am breaking that deception)
2020= God helped us go through the pandemic, God gave us residency and God gave me a new job. Miracle after miracle. We both want children. After some medical exams, it turns out that my wife S has myoma (fibrosis), which could affect her capacity to have babies. I have faith because I know how great my God is. She was deeply devastated by these findings. She is a nurse herself.
2021= we moved to another suburb in our beloved New Zealand city. I convinced her to buy our first car. I also got a nice offer in a credit card with 0% interest and I was able to get her agreement on purchasing some of what I call my toys: a drone, a Nintendo switch, goPro accessories, games, etc. She gets concerned about the expenses and having debts. I on the other hand tried to reassure her that we will pay those quick. There is no interest and I thought it would be OK. I have 2 jobs, she has 2 jobs.
The story
This month, we attended a revival. It was amazing. My spirit was humbled. The next day we had a fight because I wanted to go to church on time (non-denominational Christian protestant church) and she was moving slowly. We couldn't go to church. I told her I think she gives priority to her interests but dismisses the importance of growing spiritually and my priorities. I think it was a fair claim. She takes a defensive stand.
we have been paying the debts and she really got stressed about it. We were going to a doctors appointment to discuss myoma's treatment last Wednesday. We had another disagreement. I didn't agree that we had to rush and I said it was ok. S was angry and resented that I was not showing interest. I told her that I don't believe in doctors and that I know God can make it happen. She was nagging me and annoying me. I was stressed and while reversing I hit another car. I parked our car back and walked out very angry and frustrated.
Last Tuesday the 25th of May I met a friend. My friend invited me to eat a hamburger and I bought a thick shake and a soda. When I came back my wife was furious and stressed. She said that I am overspending and that she doesn't like debt. I told her everything is going to be ok and there is no interest to pay.
At 9:30 pm I started to play a game on the computer. Is a strategy game. I had a long day and I just wanted to relax. She came raging at me. She complained that I was watching evil stuff and that the game is bad and negative. She said that she wanted to buy things and what concerned me is that she said she wanted to watch her horror movies. She wanted to see the light from those movies in the end because apparently horror movies have a hopeful ending.
I began ignoring her and telling her to leave me alone. I kept playing. She moved my chair towards her, her face looked totally different. She looked down on me and in her rage, she spat all over my face. I asked her what are you doing!! you spit on my face!! she didn't stop.
She started raising her voice and challenging me that I would spit in her face too. She kept on pushing me. She started to throw things, specially she threw my bible towards a wall. I had enough and I pushed her against the couch. Then I walked out and went to the toilet to wipe out my face.
So here is the question:
My dad says that I should return her to her family in the Phillippines and if she doesn't want I should just leave and later on if is confirmed by God, file for divorce.
My dad says that light cannot have communion with darkness. My dad says that I deserved to be happy, have a wife that respects me and have a family with children.
My wife is in the other room right now. Is Thursday may the 27th. I am devastated and very down.
I love her. I know that love is self giving. Love does not hate. Love doesn't spit on the face of the other just because I spent $13. Love forgives and doesn't keep record of wrong.
