Mark 7:15 (NRSV)
14 Then he called the crowd again and said to them, “Listen to me, all of you, and understand: 15 there is nothing outside a person that by going in can defile, but the things that come out are what defile.”
Things that are done to you without your consent are not your fault in any way. You're a blameless victim, and it is those who have victimized you who have sinned, not you. I know sometimes that can be hard to maybe internalize at an emotional level, because some subcultures put a lot of emphasis on things like "purity" and whatnot, but Jesus' teachings specifically put aside Jewish purity laws and those kinds of things, and focused on inner disposition and a relationship with God.
A lot of early Christians had horrible things done to them, and then were killed, and they are recognized as Saints to this day by Roman Catholics, Eastern Orthodox, Oriental Orthodox, Episcopalians, Anglicans, and some other Christian groups. People pray to and venerate these brave men and women who had others defile their bodies, but who remained in relationship with God.
Good Friday was this past week, a day on which many Christian churches and denominations commemorate Jesus, a blameless victim, suffering things that he did not deserve and were not his fault. The savior of our religion was like you, in a way. He was sinless and had to endure horrible things because of the sin of other people, and so did you- and neither of you are any less good because of that.
I would encourage you, if you have not already done so, to consider getting regular counseling from a psychologist for a while and maybe joining a victim support group. This isn't because there is anything wrong with you- there is nothing wrong with you. This is because you've horrific things done to you that most people would find impossible to cope with on their own. A psychologist or a victim support group can help you understand what happened better and put it in perspective, and a victim support group can show you that you are not alone, and together eventually it may lead to some healing. I am not saying that you will one day look back on events as if nothing happened, but with the right help, you may be able to look back on them and not feel as much pain as you do today.
I will also say that I think a regular secular psychologist and a victim support group might be better than specifically religious ones in this case. I think religious ones should be just as supportive, but in the end a specifically religious psychologist operating out of a church or something is an expert in psychology and not religion, and can get the religious stuff wrong and let that influence the psychology. I would just go to neutral experts who can help you heal psychologically, where they are purely experts in that, their field. And then you can seek healing from God directly and/or through church attendance and scripture and nature and whatnot as a separate thing.
But the thing I want to emphasize, because it's important, is that you are totally blameless. The reason to get help is just the same reason you'd get help if you had cancer- the cancer isn't your fault, but it hurts, so you get a medical doctor to help you with it. Similarly, the psychological trauma here isn't your fault, but it hurts, so you get help from a psychological doctor to help you with it.
Of course, you should do what you want, not what random people on the Internet like me tell you to do.
I am just mentioning a few options. You get to decide whether they are good fits for you or not. Everyone is different, and everyone gets to make their own choices, ideally.
One reason the crime of rape is so horrible is because the perpetrators are taking the free will away from their victims to say no. So, I think it's especially important here to emphasize that you do have a choice now about what you do or don't do, and that I am not telling you what to do- just offering advice, which you are free to reject. It is your life, and you have it back now, and what those people did to you is their sin, not yours. You have done nothing wrong.