Don't feel forgiven... And want to cut or bruise

[Celticroots]

I made a purity pledge a few years ago ( it was my choice. My parents didn't have anything to do with it. You promise God that you will be pure until your wedding day. I did well for 4 years. Last night, the tension became unbearable so I "pleasured" myself. Under normal circumstances I don't consider masturbation a sin. But for many it would fall under sexual things you shouldn't do if you make that promise. Other than that I've never slept with anyone or done any sexual things.

But I broke my promise to God. And now I want to cut or bruise because the guilt is weighing on me. I feel like a failure, that I suck, and feel like God could never forgive me. I also have OCD and pestering guilt feelings that you can't shake are common.

I guess I just want reassurance, prayers, something.

 

[turned around]

Hi Celtic,
Why would you make a promise to the Father, he knows that you are but flesh. Jesus himself during the sermon on the Mount taught the hearers not to make vows. Why because we will break them, then we come under this horrible condemnation. Friend only the grace of God will teach you how to deny ungodliness, and worldly lusts, not making vows that you can not keep. I sense that you are hard on your self, The Father loves you unconditionally.

 

[emilie mayer]

Ask for forgivness sweety. He is faithful and just to forgive if you ask forgivness.the fact that it bothers you shows you love the Lord and take Him seriously. He sees that. Theres no reason to hurt yourself and He wants you to know that . Ask Him to help you in that area. If Jesus is your savior than nothing can seperate you from God. Read romans 8:38-39

 

[parsley]

God's promise to forgive, recognizes that we all fall short. His love for us is not based on our perfection or goodness.

I will not address your decision much, other than to say that scripturally, men needed to declare themselves potentially contagious for a day. (STD's etc.)

Waiting until marriage protects women from unexpected pregnancies, unexpected diseases, cheating boyfriends, deadbeats for child support, and the entire life change that comes from having a baby. I also think there's advantage to not having promiscuity so open in society, but that's not really what you're concerned about.

Relax, and try to see your life as more owned by yourself. You are working very hard to meet Christians' expectations, God's possible expectations, parents' and teachers' and friends' expectations. It's okay to live your life with a few mistakes.

God loves you. Plain and simple. If He can forgive murderers, then He is not demanding absolute perfection of you. He just wants you around.

 

[hanakins]

God's promise to forgive, recognizes that we all fall short. His love for us is not based on our perfection or goodness.

I will not address your decision much, other than to say that scripturally, men needed to declare themselves potentially contagious for a day. (STD's etc.)

Waiting until marriage protects women from unexpected pregnancies, unexpected diseases, cheating boyfriends, deadbeats for child support, and the entire life change that comes from having a baby. I also think there's advantage to not having promiscuity so open in society, but that's not really what you're concerned about.

Relax, and try to see your life as more owned by yourself. You are working very hard to meet Christians' expectations, God's possible expectations, parents' and teachers' and friends' expectations. It's okay to live your life with a few mistakes.

God loves you. Plain and simple. If He can forgive murderers, then He is not demanding absolute perfection of you. He just wants you around.

This pretty much says it all.

I can understand how the OCD affects it, I have a whole concoction of letters I could ascribe to myself, but you are human. Everybody sins, and God forgives. What you are doing is a bold and respectable thing, one slip up in 4 years - that's impressive - I hate to sound "unchristian" but I couldn't do that.

And it is precisely that willpower that will get you through these feelings too. You don't need to cut, or bruise. You need to pray. Maybe go for a walk or a shower to get rid of some of the adrenaline as well and ease the temptation to harm. God made you beautiful, and he made you wholly what he wanted. He's not going to go back on that just because you slipped up one time.

Peace and love <3