Does this make my parents too involved in our dating relationship?
- Thread starter JohnChristianForum
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chilehed
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I'm not sure that I'd put it that way, based on what you said here. One suggestion might be to tell mom how much you love her, that you're glad she's going to church and you like going with her, that also you've got this relationship you're exploring with a godly woman that needs some space, and that maybe you could go to the early service with mom and the late service (and afternoon) with your girlfriend.
I'd run this by the GF first.
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DragonFox91
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- Dec 20, 2020
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I have a lot of questions:
What is going to church w/ your mom too like? For example, the 3 of you probably sit w/ each other during service, but what about socializing after? Do the 3 of you go to the same Sunday School class after? Have coffee w/ each other during cofee time? What does the rest of the day look like? How is sitting at church and/or Sunday School listening to the speaker give you & your gf ‘alone time’?
W/out the answers to those questions, I’ll say it seems silly to exclude someone from wanting to attend church w/ you two. What happens if one of you meets a friend there? Do you start excluding that new person b/c you’re treating it as ‘alone time?’ Of course not. IMO outside of coffee time & maybe a bit during the Sunday School hour, you’re pretty much just sitting there learning.
It sounds to me like your GF doesn’t have a bond w/ your mom or is uncomfortable around her for whatever reason. & is using ‘need alone time’ as an excuse. I’d ask her directly about that.
What is going to church w/ your mom too like? For example, the 3 of you probably sit w/ each other during service, but what about socializing after? Do the 3 of you go to the same Sunday School class after? Have coffee w/ each other during cofee time? What does the rest of the day look like? How is sitting at church and/or Sunday School listening to the speaker give you & your gf ‘alone time’?
W/out the answers to those questions, I’ll say it seems silly to exclude someone from wanting to attend church w/ you two. What happens if one of you meets a friend there? Do you start excluding that new person b/c you’re treating it as ‘alone time?’ Of course not. IMO outside of coffee time & maybe a bit during the Sunday School hour, you’re pretty much just sitting there learning.
It sounds to me like your GF doesn’t have a bond w/ your mom or is uncomfortable around her for whatever reason. & is using ‘need alone time’ as an excuse. I’d ask her directly about that.
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LittleSisterInChrist
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Why does it bother your girlfriend for your mother to go to church with you? Why is church your alone time? Do you and your girlfriend usually get coffee, tea, lunch, etc. after church or something?
Do you have a small group or life group that you get together with regularly/semi-regularly for bible study and discipleship?
Honestly, unless your mother is with you in all your time together, I'm rather puzzled as to why your girlfriend is upset about your mother attending church with you guys since church is about worship, fellowship with other believers, and guiding and strengthening your relationship with God.
You said for a month you had one Sunday where you'd go to church alone together and the other Sundays/weekends you had other activities planned for the two of you to have time together without Mom. If you were doing this then I'm again rather stumped as to what is actually upsetting your girlfriend here since that would be the alone time she wanted.
Is your Mom pushy? Did something happen that created bad feelings between your mother and your girlfriend? Has your girlfriend thought of building a relationship with your mother apart from your relationship? Like having a ladies day or something every once in a while?
Have you considered and/or tried asking your pastor or a church elder for advice? Someone local who knows all three of you may have more insight on how best to proceed.
Do you have a small group or life group that you get together with regularly/semi-regularly for bible study and discipleship?
Honestly, unless your mother is with you in all your time together, I'm rather puzzled as to why your girlfriend is upset about your mother attending church with you guys since church is about worship, fellowship with other believers, and guiding and strengthening your relationship with God.
You said for a month you had one Sunday where you'd go to church alone together and the other Sundays/weekends you had other activities planned for the two of you to have time together without Mom. If you were doing this then I'm again rather stumped as to what is actually upsetting your girlfriend here since that would be the alone time she wanted.
Is your Mom pushy? Did something happen that created bad feelings between your mother and your girlfriend? Has your girlfriend thought of building a relationship with your mother apart from your relationship? Like having a ladies day or something every once in a while?
Have you considered and/or tried asking your pastor or a church elder for advice? Someone local who knows all three of you may have more insight on how best to proceed.
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