- Sep 19, 2022
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Hey everyone!
I recently had a tonsillectomy on my birthday that was absolutely terrifying. I had been sick since Christmas Eve 2023 with Strep Throat and numerous antibiotics. I am doing better now and almost completely healed!
I bring this up as I feel my faith has been tested to the ultimate strain. A few days after my surgery, I developed a heart arrhythmia and my wife took me to the hospital. I was so afraid in the hospital that I was shivering, crying, and talking to my wife about not wanting to die. Now I do suffer from extremely bad anxiety (especially health stuff) - but this was FEAR. I had never felt a more intense and emotional fear in my life. I am still battling it as I have worn a Holter monitor and am waiting to see a cardiologist - I feel as if I'm waiting for something bad to happen.
This fear I have...does this mean I have no faith? Am I not saved? I realized that almost all of my fears and worries seem to circle around the idea of DEATH. Ironically as it sounds, I am Deathly afraid to Die. As Christians we are taught that death is a part of life, and commanded to "Not Be Afraid". But I am terrified....
Is this wrong as a believer? Where is the line drawn between anxiety/worry and faith?
I apologize if this post is a little confusing. In short, does having fear - on a day to day basis - mean that I have no Faith?
I recently had a tonsillectomy on my birthday that was absolutely terrifying. I had been sick since Christmas Eve 2023 with Strep Throat and numerous antibiotics. I am doing better now and almost completely healed!
I bring this up as I feel my faith has been tested to the ultimate strain. A few days after my surgery, I developed a heart arrhythmia and my wife took me to the hospital. I was so afraid in the hospital that I was shivering, crying, and talking to my wife about not wanting to die. Now I do suffer from extremely bad anxiety (especially health stuff) - but this was FEAR. I had never felt a more intense and emotional fear in my life. I am still battling it as I have worn a Holter monitor and am waiting to see a cardiologist - I feel as if I'm waiting for something bad to happen.
This fear I have...does this mean I have no faith? Am I not saved? I realized that almost all of my fears and worries seem to circle around the idea of DEATH. Ironically as it sounds, I am Deathly afraid to Die. As Christians we are taught that death is a part of life, and commanded to "Not Be Afraid". But I am terrified....
Is this wrong as a believer? Where is the line drawn between anxiety/worry and faith?
I apologize if this post is a little confusing. In short, does having fear - on a day to day basis - mean that I have no Faith?