I agree with a lot of what Luther said. I was going to make the same point about widows and widowers, and we will neither marry nor be given in marriage in the resurrection.
I have heard it taught, probably in a Sunday school class or somewhere, that since God made Eve for Adam, he made a woman for every man. The widow issue doesn't fit well with that idea. Neither does the idea that some people are gifted to be celibate.
But can God specifically choose one spouse for you? I see Biblical evidence for that. Abraham prayed that God would send an angel before his servant to find a bride for Isaac. The servant prayed, and we know the story where, like he prayed, a young woman offered him a drink and fed his camels also. I've heard estimates about the numbers of trips to the well that would have taken. One estimate was that was 90 dips in the well with a bucket. I don't know if they had some kind of bar to act as a pulley, but if you've never gotten a bucket up out of a well, it's time consuming, and probably hard work for a young woman. So her watering his camels was a big answer to prayer.
Yes, I believe God can direct two people to marry. He did with my wife and I. The Bible says that all things are possible to him that believes. It says ask it shall be given you, seek and you shall find, knock, and the door shall be open to you. Christ said 'if ye abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will and it shall be done unto you.'
I prayed that the Lord would send an angel before me to find my wife for me. I asked the Lord to direct me to a specific person, and he did.
There is another side of the coin, too. Generally, from scripture, I get the impression that choosing a spouse has a lot to do with wisely choosing someone who is suitable. Proverbs is written to a young man, and there is a lot of advice there about what kind of women to avoid and what kind of woman to have as a wife. Proverbs 31 is encouraging to women, but originally it was not written to a woman. It was written to the author's son. It's part of the same epistle that warns of the young man being ensnared by the adulteress.
In Proverbs, Men are to avoid the adulteress, and we are warned about quarrelsome and foolish women. It is better to live on a housetop than with a quarrelsome woman. The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish one tears it down with her hands. A man should look for a wise woman, a woman with traits like those in Proverbs 31, hard-working, and responsible, like Rebeca who was hard-working and fed those camels. The Proverbs warn that beauty is fleeting and that charm is deceitful, but extols the virtues of a woman who pleases the Lord.
In the New Testament, we see that Christians are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. If you are serious about your faith, and you realize what marriage requires, then you can see that it would be difficult to live out your faith well when married to an unbeliever.
For a man looking for a wife, I'd advise he find a fellow believer with godly character. This means she is loving and also a forgiver-- which is a big deal in a relationship. She should be wise or attaining wisdom for her age, diligent, responsible, a good mother. She should accept the Biblical role of wives and be willing to submit to her husband and respect him. In this day and age especially, it is important to find out what her values are regarding divorce. If she thinks she can divorce if she is not happy or over 'irreconcilable differences', and isn't teachable when shown the scriptures, look elsewhere for a wife. It may also be wise to tactfully find out if she will take seriously the requirement that she meet her husband's sexual needs after marriage. These are things to find out before engagement-- before talking to her father, which is important to do as well.
Proverbs is also a good book for women to read to know what kind of man to choose. Proverbs warns about the lazy man, foolish men, scorners. There are a lot of 'abusive' traits that a woman might learn to be wary of if she studies Proverbs. A potential husband must be a hard worker and responsible. Of course, he must also be a believer. Still, in our culture, the woman often waits for the man to approach her to show romantic interest. Men can choose not to pursue women who don't fit their criteria. But men typically approach women. Women might find it is more difficult to meet men who fit their criteria if they don't have many men approaching them. The temptation is to go for the first one who is good looking and fun to talk to. But it is important that a believing woman marry a believing man.
It is extremely important that a potential husband be a loving, caring man. He shouldn't be a hot head or a control freak. He should be insulting or a complainer. The wife is required to submit to her husband, so a young woman can ask herself, is this a man I can submit to? Will he love me as Christ loves the church? Can he grow in that area? Does he take that responsibility serious? Is he willing to offer spiritual leadership in the home?
What does he think about marriage and divorce? Is he committed until something better comes along? What is his idea about you working if you have kids? Does he have it in his heart that it is his responsibility to provide materially for his wife? Will he take providing for your other needs (including 'due benevolence') seriously? Does he want to have children?
Get your father involved, especially if he is a believer. There is no book of the Bible that emphases how wives are to find husbands. The laws God gave to Israel implied that fathers would choose or approve husbands for their daughters. That is something to think about. Many of us get married when we are relatively young. Parents have usually learned an awful lot about marriage that their children have not before they marry.
I do believe God can lead you to the right person, but I think it is good to consider the traits of a potential spouse as well.