L
Leesley
Guest
Dead and Jealous Leadership
Thirty years of pain coupled with the grace of God we still stand. in a nut shell we have discovered. me and my wife,that the two chief corner stones of the church are arrogance and avarice. as an evangelist i humbly submitted myself to pastor after pastor. the Holy Spirit would honor my efforts greatly never to be invited back again to minister.
Jealousy and envy rule in the hearts of pastors along with the pride and greed. For most of these years i simply blamed myself. What's wrong with me, what's wrong with me. to the point of severe depression.
No more. God has set me free with ALL the truth. We are not to set a man on high. The results are all too predictable. It was never intended to be this way. The best thing that could happen to the established organised churches would be to bulldoze them all down and make the egotistical leaders go get REAL jobs.
Then and only then could God begin, for the first time in about 1800 years, to have the full supremacy over his starving sheep, and to raise up TRUE servants who contend for the true faith which is to become smaller and smaller,in their own estimation, of THEMSELVES. Like i said...in a nut shell.
Br. Devon Leesley
*******
FREE, FREE AT LAST
Me and my wife left one bondage 30 years ago only to go into a different kind of bondage. From the ravages of sin to the ravages of religion. I am a nut case. When my wife and I found the 'PEARL" of great price, we just thought it was the greatest thing in the world. My boast is in the Lord. We sold out to Him completely, without reserve.
Isn't that what we are supposed to do? God delivered me completely from alcohol and a thousand other things. When the smoke cleared and the fog lifted we found ourselves standing on the firm foundation of Yehowshua [Jesus], which is His real name.
But we soon discovered that we also stood pretty much alone. Were we better than everybody else? No, because you are simply saved or not saved. Grace being the conductor of the free gift. But I do believe that not every believers' surrender is at the same depth.
Both my wife and I grew up in homes that determined to instill in us our worthlessness as human beings. So when I discovered by the revelation of the Holy Spirit that Jesus really cared for me and my wife, and wanted us on His team, I flipped out literally. I was ecstatic with joy and grateful relief that Someone did care about us and did love us.
I think of the verse 'he who is forgiven most loves most.' That can also be applied to those who have spent their life in much pain.'
To try to make a very, very long story short, I will proceed. From the 'git-go' we felt something was not totally right in the established churches. We were so on fire and excited about Jesus that it did not altogether resonate with other christians, especially the 'pastors'. So there was, to a degree, a cold shoulder present, a wall if you please. A wall that we tried to scale for years on end without any satisfactory results.
So what did Mr. and Mrs. 'Self Confidence' do? We started blaming ourselves of course. For the next 27 years it was a pretty much constant what's wrong with me, what's wrong with me?
Early on I knew, beyond any doubt, that God called me to teach and preach the gospel. I know all about the scriptural facts that there is to be a humbling process in our lives and a 'waiting period', a ' trying time', and a 'total dying time', to be worked out in us, but even beside all that we knew something else was afoot also.
Oh how I ached to work for God. So from the very start I was out on the streets witnessing and soul winning. The church couldn't stop us there. God's favor was on my efforts or rather His efforts found a conduit in me, giving Him all the praise. But alone I was and alone I stayed for years. I finally stepped out in faith as an evangelist. Walking into small churches, mainly black churches for I couldn't even get the 'time of day' out of the pastors of white churches, let alone talk to them about the ministry God gave me.
A few more years down the road and I finally was able to get into a couple of 'white' churches to hold revivals. Wow! Finally God is letting me do what has been burning on my heart for 18 years. I have now arrived! I always treated the pastors with reverence and respect. But here is where more rejection started flaring up again.
You'd think that I would be used to it by now. The Holy Spirit would bless in incredible ways. Families restored. Souls saved. Bodies healed. Only one problem. The pastors everywhere I preached would fail to resist jealousy and envy. They did not want me to ever come back again. You see those blessings are to come through him to his congregation, not through some stranger like me.
Well after 2 years of going through this mess, I gave it up. Just keep working my job and deal with the pain some more for the next 10 years. What I am going to say now I do not believe was just because these men rejected me, but my part that I played is just a small part of the reason these things happened. In '78 a pastor rejected me. Years later he went to jail for locking a family member in the basement and literally feeding them 'under the door'.
In the latter '80s, a preacher cold- shouldered me. A year later he was caught and arrested for molesting boys. Also in the latter 80s another pastor rejected me with a cold snubbing when my friend Rocky introduced us telling him how I was a soul winner on the streets.
I shared these things with my friend for years and he really couldn't believe me until he saw it first hand. He said Devon, I can't believe he did that to you. I said to him I've been telling you Rocky. It's like that everywhere I go. No exceptions.
A couple of years later this 'pastor' was caught and arrested for flashing himself on an open high-way. Another pastor about 34 years old rejected me when I held two successful revivals at his church. A couple of years later he died of cancer. Another pastor allowed me to play my guitar and sing a couple of songs in his church of about 300 people. The anointing was precious. Tears were filling eyes.
At the end of the service I waited and waited for an opportunity to speak with him about coming back to preach for him. He continued to pay attention to 'every mothers son' which is perfectly alright, but after 30 minutes of me just standing there 'with hat in hand' over in the corner, I knew he was avoiding me. No way was he going to let me come back and preach. I have experienced that 'avoiding program' more times than I care to count.
About a year later his wife was driving a car with another sister. Both were killed in an accident.
Now let me stop here and explain something clearly. Some of you may be thinking that I am just being a baby. To be honest with you, that is exactly what I thought about myself too. "What's wrong with me, what's wrong with me?
But God did indeed finally make me realize that 'YES!', I did have a problem with the feelings of rejection which stemmed from my childhood, and for some reason God had not given me total deliverance yet. But He also showed me clearly by His Spirit and by the word of God that the leadership of the organized church are stuck on themselves more often than not.
The two foundational stones of the western church are avarice and arrogance. I will not at this time even go into the financial hardships we suffered because of 'tithing. We couldn't even get the groceries we needed for our 3 children while the pastor is going on his 4th vacation this year. Vacation...what's that???
Well I'd better move on and finish this up quickly. Well actually I think I'll stop here. Real quick, we quit with the tithing after 27 years and started doing what we always wanted to do but could not, and that is to be led by His Spirit in helping the needy. Oh how it hurt not to be able to do this for 27 years because we were commanded to dump all our money on the church.
The few times we did spend our 'tithes' sneakily on the poor, God's power and presence was so awesome in those acts, that we really started to analize this 'church doctrine a lot closer. We always felt bondage dumping tithes on to the chuch but when we helped the needy, God never failed to place His approval on it. Well now we are free to be directed to do what God has called us all to do. And that is to be ready to distribute to those in need as He directs.
But remember..charity begins at home. It is not scriptural to take the food out of your babies mouths in order to feed someone else who is hungry, let alone to use it to finance a self-serving pastor's 4th vacation of the year!!!
Br. Devon Leesley
p.s. Much more could I write.
Thirty years of pain coupled with the grace of God we still stand. in a nut shell we have discovered. me and my wife,that the two chief corner stones of the church are arrogance and avarice. as an evangelist i humbly submitted myself to pastor after pastor. the Holy Spirit would honor my efforts greatly never to be invited back again to minister.
Jealousy and envy rule in the hearts of pastors along with the pride and greed. For most of these years i simply blamed myself. What's wrong with me, what's wrong with me. to the point of severe depression.
No more. God has set me free with ALL the truth. We are not to set a man on high. The results are all too predictable. It was never intended to be this way. The best thing that could happen to the established organised churches would be to bulldoze them all down and make the egotistical leaders go get REAL jobs.
Then and only then could God begin, for the first time in about 1800 years, to have the full supremacy over his starving sheep, and to raise up TRUE servants who contend for the true faith which is to become smaller and smaller,in their own estimation, of THEMSELVES. Like i said...in a nut shell.
Br. Devon Leesley
*******
FREE, FREE AT LAST
Me and my wife left one bondage 30 years ago only to go into a different kind of bondage. From the ravages of sin to the ravages of religion. I am a nut case. When my wife and I found the 'PEARL" of great price, we just thought it was the greatest thing in the world. My boast is in the Lord. We sold out to Him completely, without reserve.
Isn't that what we are supposed to do? God delivered me completely from alcohol and a thousand other things. When the smoke cleared and the fog lifted we found ourselves standing on the firm foundation of Yehowshua [Jesus], which is His real name.
But we soon discovered that we also stood pretty much alone. Were we better than everybody else? No, because you are simply saved or not saved. Grace being the conductor of the free gift. But I do believe that not every believers' surrender is at the same depth.
Both my wife and I grew up in homes that determined to instill in us our worthlessness as human beings. So when I discovered by the revelation of the Holy Spirit that Jesus really cared for me and my wife, and wanted us on His team, I flipped out literally. I was ecstatic with joy and grateful relief that Someone did care about us and did love us.
I think of the verse 'he who is forgiven most loves most.' That can also be applied to those who have spent their life in much pain.'
To try to make a very, very long story short, I will proceed. From the 'git-go' we felt something was not totally right in the established churches. We were so on fire and excited about Jesus that it did not altogether resonate with other christians, especially the 'pastors'. So there was, to a degree, a cold shoulder present, a wall if you please. A wall that we tried to scale for years on end without any satisfactory results.
So what did Mr. and Mrs. 'Self Confidence' do? We started blaming ourselves of course. For the next 27 years it was a pretty much constant what's wrong with me, what's wrong with me?
Early on I knew, beyond any doubt, that God called me to teach and preach the gospel. I know all about the scriptural facts that there is to be a humbling process in our lives and a 'waiting period', a ' trying time', and a 'total dying time', to be worked out in us, but even beside all that we knew something else was afoot also.
Oh how I ached to work for God. So from the very start I was out on the streets witnessing and soul winning. The church couldn't stop us there. God's favor was on my efforts or rather His efforts found a conduit in me, giving Him all the praise. But alone I was and alone I stayed for years. I finally stepped out in faith as an evangelist. Walking into small churches, mainly black churches for I couldn't even get the 'time of day' out of the pastors of white churches, let alone talk to them about the ministry God gave me.
A few more years down the road and I finally was able to get into a couple of 'white' churches to hold revivals. Wow! Finally God is letting me do what has been burning on my heart for 18 years. I have now arrived! I always treated the pastors with reverence and respect. But here is where more rejection started flaring up again.
You'd think that I would be used to it by now. The Holy Spirit would bless in incredible ways. Families restored. Souls saved. Bodies healed. Only one problem. The pastors everywhere I preached would fail to resist jealousy and envy. They did not want me to ever come back again. You see those blessings are to come through him to his congregation, not through some stranger like me.
Well after 2 years of going through this mess, I gave it up. Just keep working my job and deal with the pain some more for the next 10 years. What I am going to say now I do not believe was just because these men rejected me, but my part that I played is just a small part of the reason these things happened. In '78 a pastor rejected me. Years later he went to jail for locking a family member in the basement and literally feeding them 'under the door'.
In the latter '80s, a preacher cold- shouldered me. A year later he was caught and arrested for molesting boys. Also in the latter 80s another pastor rejected me with a cold snubbing when my friend Rocky introduced us telling him how I was a soul winner on the streets.
I shared these things with my friend for years and he really couldn't believe me until he saw it first hand. He said Devon, I can't believe he did that to you. I said to him I've been telling you Rocky. It's like that everywhere I go. No exceptions.
A couple of years later this 'pastor' was caught and arrested for flashing himself on an open high-way. Another pastor about 34 years old rejected me when I held two successful revivals at his church. A couple of years later he died of cancer. Another pastor allowed me to play my guitar and sing a couple of songs in his church of about 300 people. The anointing was precious. Tears were filling eyes.
At the end of the service I waited and waited for an opportunity to speak with him about coming back to preach for him. He continued to pay attention to 'every mothers son' which is perfectly alright, but after 30 minutes of me just standing there 'with hat in hand' over in the corner, I knew he was avoiding me. No way was he going to let me come back and preach. I have experienced that 'avoiding program' more times than I care to count.
About a year later his wife was driving a car with another sister. Both were killed in an accident.
Now let me stop here and explain something clearly. Some of you may be thinking that I am just being a baby. To be honest with you, that is exactly what I thought about myself too. "What's wrong with me, what's wrong with me?
But God did indeed finally make me realize that 'YES!', I did have a problem with the feelings of rejection which stemmed from my childhood, and for some reason God had not given me total deliverance yet. But He also showed me clearly by His Spirit and by the word of God that the leadership of the organized church are stuck on themselves more often than not.
The two foundational stones of the western church are avarice and arrogance. I will not at this time even go into the financial hardships we suffered because of 'tithing. We couldn't even get the groceries we needed for our 3 children while the pastor is going on his 4th vacation this year. Vacation...what's that???
Well I'd better move on and finish this up quickly. Well actually I think I'll stop here. Real quick, we quit with the tithing after 27 years and started doing what we always wanted to do but could not, and that is to be led by His Spirit in helping the needy. Oh how it hurt not to be able to do this for 27 years because we were commanded to dump all our money on the church.
The few times we did spend our 'tithes' sneakily on the poor, God's power and presence was so awesome in those acts, that we really started to analize this 'church doctrine a lot closer. We always felt bondage dumping tithes on to the chuch but when we helped the needy, God never failed to place His approval on it. Well now we are free to be directed to do what God has called us all to do. And that is to be ready to distribute to those in need as He directs.
But remember..charity begins at home. It is not scriptural to take the food out of your babies mouths in order to feed someone else who is hungry, let alone to use it to finance a self-serving pastor's 4th vacation of the year!!!
Br. Devon Leesley
p.s. Much more could I write.
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it's still just 11:15 here but that's still a long time from 5:30 a.m. 
