Daughter going down wrong path

[toothfairy65]

Hello everyone - new here because I don't know where to turn. My husband and I have a beautiful 24 year old daughter. Just 2 years ago, she married a young man who we thought would have a perfect marriage. Never lived together so I thought they were doing the right thing.
Had a great wedding and everyone was happy. Just this past March, she announced there was trouble in the marriage and she was living with a girlfriend. Left her husband. Found out she had left him for a woman. She was hanging out at bars and had secretly been texting and seeing this woman. She was hanging out with wrong people and making poor decisions. Also turned to alcohol. We now know she is getting an apartment with this woman. My thing is this: we taught her right from wrong. Raised her in the church from the time she was a toddler. Our hurt is so deep. We are still paying for a wedding. Didn't even get photos printed. It's like she's brainwashed. She continually has lied in the past and still lies. I feel like we went wrong somewhere. Like what could we have done better. Or did we not do enough. I am depressed every day and cry so much.

 

[Dave L]

Hello everyone - new here because I don't know where to turn. My husband and I have a beautiful 24 year old daughter. Just 2 years ago, she married a young man who we thought would have a perfect marriage. Never lived together so I thought they were doing the right thing.
Had a great wedding and everyone was happy. Just this past March, she announced there was trouble in the marriage and she was living with a girlfriend. Left her husband. Found out she had left him for a woman. She was hanging out at bars and had secretly been texting and seeing this woman. She was hanging out with wrong people and making poor decisions. Also turned to alcohol. We now know she is getting an apartment with this woman. My thing is this: we taught her right from wrong. Raised her in the church from the time she was a toddler. Our hurt is so deep. We are still paying for a wedding. Didn't even get photos printed. It's like she's brainwashed. She continually has lied in the past and still lies. I feel like we went wrong somewhere. Like what could we have done better. Or did we not do enough. I am depressed every day and cry so much.

Think how much you would now be suffering had you not raised her the way you did. And how much worse off she might be had you not. You have a clear conscience and that will help you whether this storm.

I should add, do not compromise the truth. It's better to shun those who disobey God's word than to mollycoddle them.

 

[Delores Phillips]

Hello everyone - new here because I don't know where to turn. My husband and I have a beautiful 24 year old daughter. Just 2 years ago, she married a young man who we thought would have a perfect marriage. Never lived together so I thought they were doing the right thing.
Had a great wedding and everyone was happy. Just this past March, she announced there was trouble in the marriage and she was living with a girlfriend. Left her husband. Found out she had left him for a woman. She was hanging out at bars and had secretly been texting and seeing this woman. She was hanging out with wrong people and making poor decisions. Also turned to alcohol. We now know she is getting an apartment with this woman. My thing is this: we taught her right from wrong. Raised her in the church from the time she was a toddler. Our hurt is so deep. We are still paying for a wedding. Didn't even get photos printed. It's like she's brainwashed. She continually has lied in the past and still lies. I feel like we went wrong somewhere. Like what could we have done better. Or did we not do enough. I am depressed every day and cry so much.

Offer her love and your support. She has a right to make her own choices and life. I believe that if you try to force her to your own liking she might run from you altogether. Matchmaking is what they do in foreign lands.

 

[PloverWing]

I'm so sorry your family is having to go through this. It's hard to watch a family member's marriage break down. There's probably not much you can do to fix the marriage, since you're not one of the spouses. Just be there for your daughter and let her know you love her. Reassure her that she can always talk to you; sometimes people lie when they're afraid of rejection.

I don't think you did anything wrong. Sometimes young people just make bad choices, out of confusion or lack of wisdom or for other reasons. It sounds like your daughter got married too young, before she'd figured herself out, and her husband was a good man, so nobody foresaw that the marriage wasn't going to work. I know that divorce isn't the Christian ideal, and neither is cheating on one's husband (if that's what's happening); she has hurt her husband, and she's going to have to deal with that. She's in the middle of a mess now, but be there for her when she comes out on the other side of it all. You're her mom, and you'll always love her.

 

[Tolworth John]

She continually has lied in the past and still lies.

It hurts when our children don't live up to expectations.
As has been already said let her know that you still love her, that you disaprove of her actions.

May I make a plea, that you reach out to your son in law.
Your daughter, is still your daughter and will come back to you.
He has lost his wife.

Last point. You know your daughter is dishonest.
Pleas for money from her should be treated with extreem caution.
Claims to have changed her ways, turned over a new leaf etc also treat with extreem caution.

You've gone into debt to give her a start in life and she's rejected it. You are there for her, if she wants you.