Dating a girl who is not on the same faith

[Kevin__Huang]

I just wanna ask, is it okay to date a girl who is not on the same fate?
Did the bible opposed it?

(and sorry for my broken English. 'cause it's not my native language)

 

[dysert]

Since the Bible tells us to not be unequally yoked, you need to ensure that your dating isn't going to lead to a marriage (unless she converts to Christianity first). I understand dating just for the purpose of having a good time, meeting others, etc., but the unequally yoked thing is very serious so you have to be sure the dates aren't leading to anything more.

Before I got married I dated a Mormon girl for about 5 months. It was fun, but it was understood at the outset that it wasn't going to go any further. As long as the ground rules are understood, I don't see too much of a problem. Just don't fall in love with her!

 

[Radrook]

Marry only in the Lord is good advise. However, care must be taken not to take such advice to a denominational extreme.

For example:

I wasted too much time striving to assure that I married only in the Lord. Unfortunately for me, that meant marrying only a JWs since they don't acknowledge other Christian denominations as being in the Lord. Which meant that I was EXTREMELY limited in my choices. Why? Well, because in addition to that stipulation I was also forced to exclude all sisters who were already married, were not of a marriageable age-either too young or too old or engaged, as well as all the worldly women who were also considered not of the Lord.

Additionally, on a personal level it excluded all the women I did not find attractive, and all those who did not find me attractive or who were looking for brothers in the Faith who were also in the money, brothers of outstanding spirituality, or brothers of their same race or ethnic persuasion.

That difficult scenario resulted ultimately in a very prolonged agonizingly long period of extreme solitude which squandered the better part of my youth.

Ironically, and as a direct result, I finally wound up marrying a widow who had gotten baptized just to snare me and whose heart was not in doing the will of the Lord but whom I chose to imagine differently out of desperation.

That in turn resulted in a marriage which was similar to Dantes Infernus, and from which I was religiously prohibited from fleeing because the only reason for divorce had to be adultery and I assumed she was being faithful when she wasn't. So it is based on that bitter experience that I offer you the following advice.

Judge the heart of a woman and not what she officially claims to believe. Don't waste time! Once more! Don't waste time! It waits for no man and once squandered you will never recover it. There are women who outwardly say they are Christians but who are worse than the wordily ones or women who might be of non-Christian denominations. If a woman accepts Jesus as savior-she is in the Lord! Anything else is divisive denominational baloney. If a woman is of noble personality which reflects the qualities which the Bible enumerates as admirable for a Christian woman to possess, but she is not a Christian, she is the better choice above one who claims to be in the Lord but who behaves like Satan personified.

IMHO of course.

 

[Albion]

Kevin, there are some other questions we would need to ask. For example, it's not wrong to DATE, just date, a woman of another faith, but marrying her might be. Second, what do we mean by "another faith?" If you're talking about a Protestant (and you're Catholic) I'd say no, that's not forbidden. But if she's into some cult or a militantly non-Christian religion, that would be a mistake and could come close to being against the Bible's admonition about not being yoked unequally with a non-believer.

 

[Radrook]

Kevin, there are some other questions we would need to ask. For example, it's not wrong to DATE, just date, a woman of another faith, but marrying her might be. Second, what do we mean by "another faith?" If you're talking about a Protestant (and you're Catholic) I'd say no, that's not forbidden. But if she's into some cult or a militantly non-Christian religion, that would be a mistake and could come close to being against the Bible's admonition about not being yoked unequally with a non-believer.

Absolutely, there are certain groups which do manifest certain behaviors which are not Christian and the claim to Christianity might be questionable. They might be forgiven for ignorance and the sincerity valued in God's eyes.

But the choice to marry a member of such a group is very often extremely unwise and not to be recommended. There is also the quandary of the offspring of such a marriage. Which way are they to be taught? Some Christian denominational beliefs are totally incompatible with each other.

In fact, such denominational differences have resulted in religious wars where thousands have been maimed or killed. In the hormonal urgency of youth such differences can initially appear trivial but once the novelty wears off then they can become major issues which tend to tear the marriage apart.

Also, denominational membership is no guarantee. Even within the same denomination there might be differences of opinion concerning what it means to be a Christian that might cause tension. For example, some women who belong to certain denominations where women aren't allowed any leadership roles are disgruntled members. Such women when they marry might carry over that disgruntled feeling into the marriage and actively oppose the Husband's headship or leadership. Then the husband might feel as if he is fighting a civil war.

Also to be kept seriously in mind is that petting and touching prior to marriage are referred to as fornication. Dating is to be only to evaluate a potential; marriage mate. So if marriage is considered impossible from the outset, then dating to pet and touch or have sex is unchristian.

 

[Zoii]

I think you should just chill and be a nice person to her and stop worrying. If you two get on then thats what matters. If you dont well...at least be nice to each other when you split.

 

[thehehe]

It is okay, but I honestly would not advice it. It is very hard to build something with someone who has other values, cultural influences, and moreover convictions and faith.
Now, dating is not marrying! However, the easier and perhaps healthier way is to match with someone who has the same prospects/expectations as you.

 

[Benama]

I just wanna ask, is it okay to date a girl who is not on the same fate?
Did the bible opposed it?

I believe that it's okay to CASUALLY date people who don't believe in God/Jesus, but it isn't okay to have deep relationships with them, and it is definitely NOT okay to marry them.

The Bible says that once you marry someone, you become one spirit and one flesh. You wouldn't want to become one spirit with a non-believer because he/she will sort of drag you down in one way or another, AND even if she/he doesn't, he/she won't benefit your faith in any way.