Finally, all of you, be of one mind, sympathetic, loving toward one another, compassionate, humble. Do not return evil for evil, or insult for insult; but, on the contrary, a blessing, because to this you were called, that you might inherit a blessing.
1 Peter 3:8-9
Peter does not say we should not strongly contend our point. But he does show us how Christians should be. Not returning evil for evil or insult for insult.
And if you believe you are defending the will of God:
But even if you should suffer because of righteousness, blessed are you. Do not be afraid or terrified with fear of them, but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts. Always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your Hope; but do it with gentleness and reverence, keeping your conscience clear, so that, when you are maligned, those who defame your good conduct in Christ may themselves be put to shame.
1 Peter 3: 14-16
What I am asking is not to abandon values but to abandon vitriol. If you believe your Brother or Sister has fallen into a set of beliefs that are harmful:
Avoid foolish and ignorant debates, for you know that they breed quarrels. A slave of the Lord should not quarrel, but should be gentle with everyone, able to teach, tolerant, correcting opponents with kindness. It may be that God will grant them repentance that leads to knowledge of the truth
2 Timothy 2:23-35
This is what I am asking.