blessed

[goldenviolet]

God has drawn me close through my illnesses.
the greatest healling is when He died in place of me.

 

[goldenviolet]

if anyone ever just needs to know that God loves you just the way you are... pop me a pm. alot of people think because they are christian, that something must be wrong with them or their faith. for them to suffer mental health issues. God heals those He chooses... and the rest of us; He chooses that we are comforted.

 

[goldenviolet]

did you catch that? i said the greatest healling is the salvation Jesus gifted to us from the cross. i am not healled, but i am comforted. no doctor or pill can provide for my spiritual needs. yes i still struggle, but no, i am free and my thinking blessed to clearity. my bible is the sword of the spirit (biblical armor), and it protects me adequately!

 

[goldenviolet]

did you catch that? i am not healled. you should see me on my bad days. pretty intense. still, no one has pmed me. i have a lot of love and understanding. it's so hard to find fellowship. but maybe God intends for me to be on my own (earthly) in schizophrenia. my family is really great. even when i have those intense days. (usually when i forget my meds)...
it is like my brain is in prision sometimes. on bad days i forget who i am, and where i am. no one will allow me to be alone. i remember pieces of things. but it's confusing. and other things that aren't real play mind games with my thoughts. my tongue gets frozen and i don't talk for days. they say someday i may leave and not return from this "world". i live from med to med at times. through it all, i feel God's hands over me. when i was younger i use to get depressed. even suicidal. it's been over 12 years since i harmed myself on purpose. the understanding and cleared mind is spiritually. God has provided. i was in therepy, and also took classes to deal with diobolical behaviors and clinical issues. i had five very wonderful christian doctors and therepist/ teachers. some even prayed with me.

( i eased my babble i sure got embaressing myself down good )

 

[goldenviolet]

i just wanted to say that you are special, precious, wonderful. God has many blessing for you.

mental illness does not change God's loving promises. your greatest healling is that Jesus died to redeem you.

 

[irenemcg]

Praying for your healing, that God heals you from this!

 

[goldenviolet]

i'm of an older age. God has not healled me from this, but the greatest healling is that He died in place of me. i feel no anger or sarrow. instead i rejoyce greatly! i rejoyce that He comforts me, and gives me a clear picture of His will. i praise Him that i am called to bear fruit in His name; to be His hands and feet! this is all that matters.

 

[Nan1]

I think you rock, Dee! I so enjoy your posts and the scriptures you write in your juornal. If you don't think you aren't making a difference in people's lives - you're wrong...

YOU ARE TOTALLY BLESSED!

And you're a blessing to me. Your honesty, your sincerity in wanting to help others, you deep love for Christ and the Word...all great in edifying others by example.

C'mere.

Love,
Nan

 

[goldenviolet]

Nan *warmfuzzies* you little sweetie !!!

 

[Nan1]

Why is it when we're so ready to help others *spongebob song of "I'm ready! I'm ready!"* and ask God to bring 'em our way we're totally cool with that. But, if God puts US through somethin' we're so not ready to ask for help. This has always puzzled me.

 

[goldenviolet]

yep. sometimes i think we don't realize how important fellowship is. and then there is all the lies that fears build up. the lies that are there saying we are terrible and then we feel so much shame. ofcourse the truth is, we all fall short. we all have struggles; but if we are in Christ, we are redeemed. and commanded to confess for our own health. we are suppose to bear one anothers burdens. so rather it is sin, or struggle of some other sort, fellowship is allowing the hands and feet of Christ to work within us as a family. we are suppose to minister to one another.

sponge bob? lol... i've never seen it, except as a towel or clothing design. he looks funny.

 

[goldenviolet]

Bipolar Schizophrenia...

My brain plays a sullen game
There are no written rules
Echoing memories, echoing images
The world cannot function
With me in the way
It's bitter sweet
They want to help
And don't know how
Piercing your ears echoing sounds
Where your life is locking you away
My brain plays a sullen game
There are no written rules
Dancing in my world of fairy-tales
They come out and dance their balls
With orchestras and people singing
Spinning couples dancing with clowns
But the tree talks the most today.

i fear the days like this, not spiritually, but for my family. and i can't exsplaine further. i just wanted to say something about the craziness. i'm feeling blue. i know i'm not suppose to, but i don't take my meds on the night before church. i'm too groggy in the morning. i sure love meeting to celebrate God's love. my minor meds affect me each day i miss them. but my heavy ones take awhile to get out of my system. when the seroquel is out of my system, i am very messed up. i made the mistake of believing i was healled and went off meds. woah. my husband and family were telling me things i don't remember. i was in and out of the phyciatric crisis center almost every day. the only reason they didn't put me in lock up, is that i have not hurt myself (except biting my hands) or anyone else. i ran away alot. but i was supervised, so i never got far. no one would physically detain me, for fear i'd flip out. babies comfort me. so my husband bought me two newborn dolls. a boy and a girl. oncec in awhile break through problems occure even on meds. not often, but i have coping skills. like the babies or art. it must be subconcious to try things. i remember doing these things. when the walls yell at me and i am afraid to move... it's strange, but wonderful that i know God's love is all around me and over me. nothing can still my salvation. God is so wonderful.

James 1:2-8
My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

 

[goldenviolet]

i had a break through phycotic episode. went into crisis. doctor wanted my family to keep a better eye on me. i was skippiong med doses. yuck. i hate readjusting to meds. i get new ones too, and i think they arrive today. it feels like my body is paralized. i'm sleeping all the time again. the new meds are suppose to help me not be a zombie. i'm a whimp. Father please take my will, and conform me to your will. i'm fighting these changes and probly new growth too. thank you that you help me in my stubborness. Amen.

 

[Nan1]

I love you so much, my dear sister in Christ. It sometimes does feel like we're alone to face the monsters under the bed (or in the closet). Even when we know God is RIGHT THERE in the midst of it all, it still can be discouraging. I'm so glad you speak scripture. We must stand firm in the word even when we feel blue (in my case purple ). Know you're in my thoughts today...

Love,
Nan

"The Lord thy God, he is God, the faithful God, which keepeth convenant and mercy with them that love him."
-Deuteronomy 7:9

"Call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me."
-Psalm 50:15

"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: and I give unto them eternal lfie."
-John 10:27,28

 

[goldenviolet]

dear Father, You are amazing. thank you so much for Nan1. Father you know her heart and her struggles. Father, see how she blesses me in the mist of her struggles to take care of her family's health issues? Father, please spread a blanket of your comfort and wisdom over her. Father please provide for their needs, and overflow her heart with joy and peace. Father please send Nan a support system there in her community, to help her in the ways you see she needs. You are good Father, loving and full of blessings for us who call You God and Father. thank you, in Jesus' name i ask, amen.

thank you lovely nan

... i don't feel alone from God. i sometimes feel alone as a woman with mental health problems. intimate friendships. i long for a close bond with someome i can share with. i mean inperson. i have loads of friends and know many lovely people. plus i understand it is difficult to have intimate friendships. family, work, other things prevent most adults from being able to socialize like we did as children. (well, i never did) my comfort is knowing that in heaven there'll be tons of intimate friends . God certainly fills the hole x 100%, the trick is allowing Him to . i have a lovely family. and know many lovely people. so even though i get blue, i'm very thankful.

i love that you ministered to me. it feels great. i also love that you shared scriptures too.

i'm not blue now, you cheered me up.
thank you. love and blessings to you and your family, dee

 

[Nan1]

That was sooo beautiful it made us cry.
You minister to so many of us with scripture and friendship.
I know that feeling all too well of wanting a bosom friend. I have a couple, but none that live close by. It used to make me so sad, but I have since made peace with it. I can't change people, I can only change myself. Even then, I need God's help! I think the bottom line is I need God's help in everything. Sometimes that means Him bringing someone, something, some experience into my life for a season or two. Which brings to mind something you shared the other night...

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the sun."
-Ecc. 3:1

And with that I'll leave you with...

"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
-Ecc. 4:12


PS Thank you so much for the prayers!

 

[goldenviolet]

Nan, you are a very lovely sweetie.

 

[streetsdisciple]

Hey,

I can relate to what you feel Dee. I've been through alot in my past, alot of mental disorders, like schizophrenia, bulimia, depression.. Alot of them. But I know that I am going through all these things for a reason. Every burden that we face makes us stronger, and it makes us more humble. And those who stay humble will become the greatest in heaven.

I believe that my reason for going through all these disorders is so that I could help people that are going through the same things that I did. With God's help I overcame the struggles of bulimia and depression. My sufferings have brought me closer to God. If I had not suffered than I wouldn't have looked for God, or Christ, our Saviour.

Trust in God with all the experiences that you are going through. In the end we will rejoice for what we went through, all the pains will turn into our joy. So knowing that there will be joy in pain, trying to think of why it will bring us joy. Perhaps your struggles or something that are worth so much in heaven.

In a little while we will see Him. So be strong and be patient

 

[goldenviolet]

i'm glad we met streetsdisciple, hey! i believe that God has drawn me close this way too. i know i would have gone other directions... plus, i am willing and joyful to praise God, and willing and joyful to minister to others.

 

[goldenviolet]

​

a few of you have got this in your guestbook. i usually post it in ladies books. the guys may not want all the frilly angel hearts stuff. but God's promises is for all of us. those who are healled, have no status over those who are ill. men are seen as a bright and spotless bride too. God's love is completely awesome!!

i just wanted to honor and bless you. God looks on you with pleasure. you are a lovely and spotless bride. you are also His priceless lamb. He withholds nothing from you. He'll keep your inheritance a treasure for His treasure. you are the first fruit among His creations!

1 Peter 1:3-9
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, 5 who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, 8 whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, 9 receiving the end of your faith—the salvation of your souls.
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