- Apr 28, 2024
- 8
- 9
- 36
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Married
April of last year I was given a prophetic message that there was a sense of urgency on my life. I said many God whatever you want, I will do it. I don’t know how, but no problem. A few weeks later, I slipped up into a sin of touching myself( I was 7 months pregnant). I asked God to forgive me right after, but I knew it was wrong. I felt a little sick after but I thought it was from me being pregnant . Fast forward to June, I have my baby. 36 hours of intense labor. Afterwards the medicine wears off, and I instantly felt cold.
I started shaking uncontrollably, that my own mother couldn’t pin me down. I just knew something was wrong. Fast forward I go home after a week in the hospital. While there, I have these intense muscle spasms, and at night my body was heating up as if I was inside of a furnace.
I get released a week later. I go home, I recognized that I couldn’t sleep. I try sleeping pills, melatonin, every [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] one thing, no pill has any effect. It’s like just eating a piece of candy. I go to the doctor to get prescribed antidepressants, they don’t work. Fast forward to where I am now. I still can’t sleep, I have this weird pressure behind my eyes, my body heats up like a furnace at night, I’m having issues with going to the bathroom. I haven’t gotten sick since last year, no pills work. Every time I try to read the word, I get these bad headaches. Tylenol doesn’t have any effect.
My bones hurt really bad. I don’t get sick anymore( ie, common colds or allergies ). My body smells like a dead body, no matter how many bathes or showers I take. I feel no love, no peace, no joy, I’m numb, I don’t feel any conviction . I hear these demonic voices that sound like me that say you know you’re going to hell. That I hate Jesus. He hates me, I cry terribly because I believe that I’m not going to see Jesus. I look at hell videos and have no emotion. My memory is fading greatly. I can only remember my sins. I can’t remember what happened the previous day. I can’t hold the word of God when I read it. I only care because I’m going to hell, I feel like it’s not genuine at all. Has anyone ever experienced this? Has God turned me over for to my own devices for good? I keep seeing the number 6 everywhere. And these big black crows are everywhere I go. Please help me
I started shaking uncontrollably, that my own mother couldn’t pin me down. I just knew something was wrong. Fast forward I go home after a week in the hospital. While there, I have these intense muscle spasms, and at night my body was heating up as if I was inside of a furnace.
I get released a week later. I go home, I recognized that I couldn’t sleep. I try sleeping pills, melatonin, every [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] one thing, no pill has any effect. It’s like just eating a piece of candy. I go to the doctor to get prescribed antidepressants, they don’t work. Fast forward to where I am now. I still can’t sleep, I have this weird pressure behind my eyes, my body heats up like a furnace at night, I’m having issues with going to the bathroom. I haven’t gotten sick since last year, no pills work. Every time I try to read the word, I get these bad headaches. Tylenol doesn’t have any effect.
My bones hurt really bad. I don’t get sick anymore( ie, common colds or allergies ). My body smells like a dead body, no matter how many bathes or showers I take. I feel no love, no peace, no joy, I’m numb, I don’t feel any conviction . I hear these demonic voices that sound like me that say you know you’re going to hell. That I hate Jesus. He hates me, I cry terribly because I believe that I’m not going to see Jesus. I look at hell videos and have no emotion. My memory is fading greatly. I can only remember my sins. I can’t remember what happened the previous day. I can’t hold the word of God when I read it. I only care because I’m going to hell, I feel like it’s not genuine at all. Has anyone ever experienced this? Has God turned me over for to my own devices for good? I keep seeing the number 6 everywhere. And these big black crows are everywhere I go. Please help me