Hello everyone!
It is true that husband are called to love their wives regardless whether their wives are godly or not.
But have we, as husbands gave ourselves up for our wives — as we have been instructed :
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and GAVE HIMSELF UP FOR her, -Ephesians 5:25
Of course, I don’t mean to give yourself up, that is not in the manner of Christ’s teachings.
What I mean is the husband’s sacrifice and sufferings should reflect Christ ; that is missing that husbands have not fully understood how Christ submit to the Heavenly Father’s will !
Yet it was the will of the LORD to crush him;
he has put him to grief;
when his soul makes an offering for guilt, he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days; the will of the LORD shall prosper in his hand. -Isaiah 53:10
Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied; by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant, make many to be accounted righteous, and he shall bear their iniquities. -Isaiah 53:11
Have husband been willing to be crushed and grieved according to the will of the Lord ?
What I am talking about ?
It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? -Hebrews 12:7
Are not Jesus the holy and begotten Son of the Heavenly Father? Have we not received the spirit of adoption as His sons through Jesus Christ ?
As a son — a husband, we must be willing to submit to God’s discipline. When we are disciplined ! Are we not crushed and grieved when disciplined?
When Christ gave Himself for the church ! Was He not disciplined for our transgressions ? Was He not crushed by our iniquities? Has He not bore our griefs and carried our sorrows?
Have we husband conformed to the image of Christ? Have we husband endured this discipline when our wives transgress us ? Have we husband been willing to bear the crush by our wives’ iniquities? Have we husband bore our wives’ grief and carried away their sorrows?
How have Jesus been abled to submit to the will of our Heavenly Father ?
This is what we have heard:
He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth;
LIKE A LAMB that is led to the slaughter, and LIKE A SHEEP that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth. -Isaiah 53:7
When our wives oppressed us! When as husbands we are afflicted !
Did we open our mouths and speak with violence at her ? or we did not open our mouth like a lamb or a sheep !
It is true that Christ might sanctify the church, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, -Ephesians 5:26
But we as husband are not called to wash our wives with our words and make them afraid of any ministerial words !
Are we as ministering husbands concerned to save our wives ?
How do our Lord Christ Jesus save us then ?
This is what we have heard:
Consequently, He ( Christ ) is able to save to THE UTTERMOST THOSE who draw near to God through Him ( Christ),
since He ( Christ ) ALWAYS LIVES TO MAKE INTERCESSION for them. -Hebrews 7:25
How did wife become from the closest to the uttermost? Were ministerial spouses the only ones not needing saving ? Yes, ministerial spouses and non ministerial spouses both are in need of saving ! Saving from divorce! Saving from the enemy of hate, bitterness, and wrath !
How our Lord Jesus Christ helps us ?
Likewise the Spirit helps us in OUR WEAKNESS. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but THE SPIRIT HIMSELF INTERCEDES FOR US with groanings too deep for words. -Romans 8:26
Are we not groanings too deep for words when our wives know our weakness ? Who can we turn to and help us ?
This is what we have heard David did when he was lonely and afflicted despite the many wives that he may have :
My eyes are ever toward the LORD, for He will pluck my feet out of the net. -Psalms 25:15
Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. -Psalms 25:16
The troubles of my heart are enlarged; bring me out of my distresses. -Psalms 25:17
Consider my affliction and my trouble, and forgive all my sins. -Psalms 25:18
Consider how many are my foes, and with what violent hatred they hate me. -Psalms 25:19
Oh, guard my soul, and deliver me! Let me not be put to shame,
for I take refuge in you. -Psalms 25:20
We as husbands and wives may be in the net, but we are told to set our eyes to the Lord even though our wives’ eyes may have not yet be on the Lord.
Yes, we need the Lord to turn and be gracious to us when we felt lonely and afflicted by our wives.
Though our hearts as husbands may be troubled by what our wives have said, done and looked, —- we as husbands need to trust in the Lord to bring us out of our distresses.
We must believe that the Lord do consider our afflictions, sufferings and forgive our sins !
But wives ARE NOT FOES !
For we have heard:
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. -Ephesians 6:12
We as husbands need to set our minds on the things of the Spirit, that is, how the Lord guards our souls or mind from hate, bitterness, anger and violence !
As we have heard:
I will meditate on Your precepts and fix my eyes on Your ways. -Psalms 119:15
He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor repay us according to our iniquities. -Psalms 103:10
That is how we as husbands should deal with our wives ;
not dealing with them according to their sins !
Not repaying them according to their iniquities !
As Christ loves the church as His own body — nourishing and cherishing the church ; in this way, we as husbands should love our wives !
What counts is a new creation in Christ !
The old has gone, the new has come !
But how many have stripped their old self with its ways !
Why ?
FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST CONTROLS US, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; -2 Corinthians 5:14
and He died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for Him who for their sake died and was raised. -2 Corinthians 5:15
Unless the love of Christ controls us or rules us or abide in us, we can do nothing !
Why ?
I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, FOR APART FROM ME YOU CAN DO NOTHING. -John 15:5
We as husbands or wives, cannot bear this fruit of love, joy and peace in our family apart from Christ !
We need to sow in the Spirit, in order that, we may reap in the Spirit. For the Holy Spirit is the One who helps in our weakness !
Repent! Receive His grace of repentance!
When God renews us whether as husband or wife in the right spirit !
When God upholds us as husband or wife with a willing spirit within us, He will restore us with the joy of His salvation.
How we should be in the right spirit and be willing about :
as we have heard:
Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, -Colossians 3:12
bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. -Colossians 3:13
And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. -Colossians 3:14
And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called IN ONE BODY. And be thankful. -Colossians 3:15
For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body'HUSBANDS or WIVES, slaves or free'and all were made to drink of one Spirit. Indeed, we were called in one body of Christ.
Why am I talking about godly husband instead of godly wife ?
Have I forgotten the thread topic ?
Though the exhortation that addresses us as husbands as sons of the Lord, likewise I am appealing to wives who are daughters of the Lord.
That we as husbands or wives may not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord so that we may not be weary as husbands or wives when reproved by the Lord.
For we have heard:
For the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and chastises every son whom he receives." -Hebrews 12:6
Do the Lord only discipline husbands as the sons that He loves and receives ? No ! That also includes the godly woman who endure disciplines as wives and daughters of the Lord.
God bless you !