I returned to Christianity after eight years of atheism, but I think I'm too rotten inside. I used to date mostly for sex, usually after 2-3 dates, but now I'm trying to turn a new page and want to find a woman to marry and create a happy family. The thing is, I feel too damaged because of my past. I'm mostly attracted to, let's say, more "damaged" women or those considered "dirty", and I find it hard to be attracted to good Christian girls, mostly because of my sexual desires. I prefer less traditional Christian behaviors in bed and I've tried not to think about it, but I can't. This is who I am, and I don't want to ruin a beautiful woman because I'm rotten, but I don't know what to do either. I pray to Jesus every day about this, to forgive me and accept me for who I am, but I'm still scared that I won't find a girl who is Christian and shares the same likes as me. Any advice?
I apologize if my thread is shameful.
Surrender everything to the Lord Yahushua HaMashiach Jesus Christ. Everything. That means you are willing to forsake everything. If you truly receive Jesus as your Savior, you would surrender everything to Him as Lord. That is what True Believer means. Not just 99 percent.
Once you have fully done that, everything, even sex would be up to Him. You do not get to choose, since true surrender is giving all your choices to Him. IT IS HE who now makes the choice. Thus, everyday, you would be asking Him what His will is for you in every area, and when Jesus speaks, it is clear. You can even ask Him to confirm it.
But, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob has already said some things about your situation in the Bible.
1. You are not to have sex with anyone that you are not married to.
2. It is up to Him if He wants you to be married, or if He will bless you with singleblessedness. You have to constantly depend and ask Him so. Not everyone gets up married.
3. Even if you get married, He gets to choose WHO. Again, this only happens if you are surrendered, so constantly depend and ask Him and you will eventually know from Him WHO, IF HE EVER wants you to get married someday.
4. You are never to lust after ANYONE other than your wife. If you are unmarried, you can't lust at anyone. Jesus said whoever lusts in his heart commit adultery. And the Bible is clear - The sexually immoral will NOT inherit the kingdom of God.
5. Time and time again in the Bible, True Believers, IF YOU ARE ONE, are not to be yoked with unbelievers. Even the chosen Jews were prohibited from marrying people that are not chosen, and Solomon and others went to moral degradation because they married Unbelieving wives. You will suffer many costs if you have a relationship with someone who is NOT a True Believer. 1 Corinthians 5 even says that we are not to associate and eat with BELIEVERS who commit sexual immorality, idolatry, etc. How much more not True Believers. See 2 Corinthians 6:14-15, 17, and many other verses, look it up yourself.
6. Jesus will accept you for who you are only at the time of your surrender. But make no mistake, once you truly commit to Him and surrender, if you go back to your sins willingly, it would have better had you not known the faith. Lots of verses about this. 1 John 3:9 says No one born of God continues in the practice of sinning.
Is it possible to be a Christian and live in lifelong carnality, enjoying the pleasures of sin, and occasionally seeking to glorify the Lord who bought him? Can a Christian spurn the lordship of Christ at times yet lay claim to Him as Savior? Can someone pray a “sinner’s prayer” and go about his life as if nothing had happened and still call himself a “Christian”?
No. Let us not give unrepentant Christians false hope.