- Jul 17, 2012
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We bought our house 10 years ago. Two doors down from us are two elderly sisters who - as far as we can tell - have no other family. Now, they both claim that they worked for many years in NYC - shouldn't they have pensions? I know they have social security, and the one sister still works!
Because they've got no one, we and another neighborhood couple, have tried to look out for them. We give them rides, we have loaned them money, my husband mows their grass and shovels their walk. But, it's gotten out of hand - it is non-stop drama with these two and they don't respect boundaries. I've asked the one sister to not call us during our work hours - because she massively disrupted an important work call calling over and over and over. She hasn't respected that boundary.
When we had a snow storm recently - we all knew it was going to snow. Hubman and I went out and made preparations to not have to go out for a couple of days. This ding bat decides going shopping in a snow storm is a good idea. Then, calls us crying for a ride because the roads are so bad the buses have stopped. We're supposed to risk wrecking our car because she hasn't got the sense God gave a goose?
A few months ago, she told my husband she needed to "borrow" $50. He said fine. She said she needed a ride to the grocery store, so he took her. She proceded to ring up $300 in groceries and then got my husband to pay for it. All told, she owes my husband $400. She's made no effort to repay even part of it. Because of this, we got behind in some of our bills which caused late fees and so on and so forth. Then, yesterday she starts blowing up my husband's phone. She wants to "borrow" another $100. I just blocked her number from calling his phone. I said, "Don't listen to any voice mails from her. I'll listen." One thing I learned in almost 18 years as a social worker is you have to have boundaries, and sometimes you have to be hard hearted. I sent her a text telling her 1) We don't have a spare $100 because of the financial difficulty she caused us by not repaying any of the money she already owes us, 2) One of our dogs is sick and we had a vet appointment that we'll have to pay for. They let us use a parking space behind their house since they don't drive. So, I said, "We will pay you $50 a month for the parking space, and Hub will continue to mow your grass, but we cannot loan you any more money..." I also said Hub will not be giving them any more rides. I will take them to the store IF I am able to - because that grocery store stunt wouldn't have happened with me. I'd have been like, "Why'd you let them ring up $300 in groceries, if you knew you only had $50?" Apparently, when you block a number it just goes to voice mail. She completely filled Hub's voice mail crying for him to call her - it's important! So, Hub didn't park behind their house tonight.
This is what we've struggled with - what is our duty to them as Christians? We've tried really hard to be good neighbors and look out for them. As far as we know they either have no family, or whatever family they have want nothing to do with them. But, we're just exhausted. Hub feels like they've been using him as an ATM. I keep coming back to their claim to have worked many years in NYC - so I'd think they've got some sort of pension, they've got SS, and one of them still works part-time. What are they doing with their money that they're constantly having to run to us (and our other neighbors) asking for "loans?"
Because they've got no one, we and another neighborhood couple, have tried to look out for them. We give them rides, we have loaned them money, my husband mows their grass and shovels their walk. But, it's gotten out of hand - it is non-stop drama with these two and they don't respect boundaries. I've asked the one sister to not call us during our work hours - because she massively disrupted an important work call calling over and over and over. She hasn't respected that boundary.
When we had a snow storm recently - we all knew it was going to snow. Hubman and I went out and made preparations to not have to go out for a couple of days. This ding bat decides going shopping in a snow storm is a good idea. Then, calls us crying for a ride because the roads are so bad the buses have stopped. We're supposed to risk wrecking our car because she hasn't got the sense God gave a goose?
A few months ago, she told my husband she needed to "borrow" $50. He said fine. She said she needed a ride to the grocery store, so he took her. She proceded to ring up $300 in groceries and then got my husband to pay for it. All told, she owes my husband $400. She's made no effort to repay even part of it. Because of this, we got behind in some of our bills which caused late fees and so on and so forth. Then, yesterday she starts blowing up my husband's phone. She wants to "borrow" another $100. I just blocked her number from calling his phone. I said, "Don't listen to any voice mails from her. I'll listen." One thing I learned in almost 18 years as a social worker is you have to have boundaries, and sometimes you have to be hard hearted. I sent her a text telling her 1) We don't have a spare $100 because of the financial difficulty she caused us by not repaying any of the money she already owes us, 2) One of our dogs is sick and we had a vet appointment that we'll have to pay for. They let us use a parking space behind their house since they don't drive. So, I said, "We will pay you $50 a month for the parking space, and Hub will continue to mow your grass, but we cannot loan you any more money..." I also said Hub will not be giving them any more rides. I will take them to the store IF I am able to - because that grocery store stunt wouldn't have happened with me. I'd have been like, "Why'd you let them ring up $300 in groceries, if you knew you only had $50?" Apparently, when you block a number it just goes to voice mail. She completely filled Hub's voice mail crying for him to call her - it's important! So, Hub didn't park behind their house tonight.
This is what we've struggled with - what is our duty to them as Christians? We've tried really hard to be good neighbors and look out for them. As far as we know they either have no family, or whatever family they have want nothing to do with them. But, we're just exhausted. Hub feels like they've been using him as an ATM. I keep coming back to their claim to have worked many years in NYC - so I'd think they've got some sort of pension, they've got SS, and one of them still works part-time. What are they doing with their money that they're constantly having to run to us (and our other neighbors) asking for "loans?"