Tired of Hyper Connectivity

[Serendipitous Waffle]

Ok folks, think back to the 90's and even the early 2000's. Remember not being always "connected"? It seems in this hyper connected world we live in today, that someone is always able to "reach out and touch us". We're constantly connected with email, social media, text messaging or we have a phone in our pocket which allows someone to reach us no matter where we may be.

I remember if someone wanted to get a hold of me, I'd have to be at home. If I wanted to send an email? I had to physically get up, go to my computer, connect to AOL (You've got mail!). Everything was more deliberate "back then". Now, everything is always "on". I don't necessarily mind being connected, however there's just no "off" times anymore. It's expected that you always are available either to text, call or email.

Hotels have Wifi, I can download a copy of the latest Linux distro if I wanted to while sitting at the beach via my phone. Or I can check my stocks, buy crypto, manage a network of computers all from my phone with the calm sound of waves in the distance...

I guess I'm just tired of it. If I truly could, I'd drop my phone and use my old Psion 5 PDA from 1997 as a daily driver just to keep somewhat organized. I'm very tempted to put "business hours 9-5" as voice mail. Didn't get me during that time? Too bad, I'm OFF-LINE, disconnected outside of those hours.

Anyone else feel somewhat overwhelmed by being always connected? I mean, some good has come from it, but too much of a good thing and all that...

 

[peaceful-forest]

I make adjustments on my phone so I'm not overwhelmed. For example, most of the apps on my phone, I made it to where they can't send me notifications. It's annoying to get "dings" one right after another. Nobody needs that in their life. I also have a desktop computer, so certain things I will still do on a traditional computer, like social media and email.

If you feel overwhelmed by it, you need to make adjustments to your phone. Have your phone be the slave, not the other way around. You can try the "business hours". So what if you're not available after a certain time (except for emergency situations).

 

[Serendipitous Waffle]

Thanks for the tips, Peaceful. I'm not really overwhelmed by anything, just annoyed how everyone from friends and family to work expects you to always be available. I drive a motorcycle, and there has been many occasions where I don't hear my phone and then get yelled at for not answering. Like I'm going to hear my phone through a helmet with a motorcycle going down the freeway... Before being hyper connected, people would instantly realize "oh they're busy" and wait.

It's just before you had to make an effort to send an email, you had to find a place with a phone line or later on, WIFI. Or just wait until you got home. Needed to reach me, but couldn't get a hold of me? Oops, leave a message and hope I check it.

My phone goes automatically in silent mode from 9PM to 6AM. I don't do social media at all. No Facebook, Twitter, nothing. Only social media I use is this forum really.

 

[Plenipotent]

I know this is a mildly old post, but I had a little chuckle at "I'm very tempted to put "business hours 9-5" as voice mail." It reminded me of a recent conversation I had with a friend regarding the constant accessibility that technology has brought into our lives. It's interesting how people can reach out to us at any moment, irrespective of what we might be experiencing. Sometimes, we end up carrying the weight of others' struggles, and it can become overwhelming. My friend called it 'trauma dumping'. It's odd because I would never do that to someone, but it feels like people do it to me constantly.

Interestingly, this brought to mind that Jesus often withdrew from the crowds to spend time in prayer and reflection. It was a reminder to me that setting aside moments of solitude and reflection can be valuable for our well-being.

Considering this, establishing a boundary like a '9-5 voicemail' sounds like a wise choice, particularly with those we interact with regularly. While it might bring about some playful annoyance, especially if those around us have a sense of humor, it can also be a step toward maintaining a healthy balance. I feel like boundaries, when set for the right reasons, can contribute positively to our lives.

However, I also think it's equally important to be available when people genuinely need us. Personally, I tend to be mostly disconnected from my phone. I've set the norm that texts are for casual conversations, while calls are reserved for when immediate assistance is required. And, if someone would like to just 'talk' on the phone, they ask me in advance through a text or call and ask if it's a good time to talk. If a call goes unanswered, it's because I'm unavailable at that moment and everyone I know knows that. This approach has become the standard for me, and although I occasionally receive snide comments about missed calls for certain friends, overall, it's been manageable.

I understand the frustration regarding the pervasive nature of cell phones in our lives though. I've always had a distinct view of technology and its role in my life. I'm the only person I know that doesn't have a lock screen on my phone. I understand the potential risks regarding banking/credit card information falling into the wrong hands, but I don't think that's why people actually lock their phones most of the time (you know what I mean?). I don't view my phone as an extension of my identity and I've got nothing to hide, so I don't lock it. My friends think that's wild and weird. As Peaceful aptly put it, the phone should be a tool rather than a master. I share the perspective that my phone is a functional device, not an embodiment of myself.

To be honest, I find myself longing for the simplicity of a landline once more. But then... The apps!

 

[Kale100]

As things get more and more 'connected' (more like disconnected... from reality) I feel ever more that I dodged a bullet by effectively checking out of technology, or really American culture in general. How many American males in there 20s are engrossed by one or more of the following: video games, social media, the latest Netflix shows, 'hookup culture', getting drunk. It's sad watching all my age peers mentally defeated by these things they desperately think will bring them fulfillment.

 

[tobelieveinHim]

If I could give you a gift for this post, I would. I have the problem with people getting upset with me and not wanting to hear from me anymore. Then I have the constant gravitational pull to check in with them when I don't understand that reaction to me, and it just gets me in trouble and then of my mom saying they could threaten me with legal trouble for an unwanted text ! I would never show up to their house, or even call them from a cell phone, but a text is no longer just an innocent text ! So, I have the opposite problem.
Someone from my mom's past wanted to take the bus to our house whenever he felt like it, and it was ok for her, but it wasn't ok with me. I tried to be as kind as I could about it and asked her to just ask him to call first before just showing up unannounced.
That's the kind of thing I would never do. But, a text is just a text. Social media is just social media. It can be deleted and wiped from the internet with the click of one button.
People are different behind a computer screen, than they are in person, or on the phone. Taking away blocking options on platforms such as Twitter, to me is a good thing. There is still the mute button, but you mean to tell me an email or a tweet that you don't like, coming from someone that you don't enjoy is a big deal ? ! ? !
So, I am having the opposite problem. I am having to pay to keep texting shut off on my phone, when at one point I was paying to have more. I feel so cast out of society, or at least the society I wanna be in. Social media and texting has made all the more lonelier than ever. ;(;

 

[DragonFox91]

I make adjustments on my phone so I'm not overwhelmed. For example, most of the apps on my phone, I made it to where they can't send me notifications. It's annoying to get "dings" one right after another. Nobody needs that in their life. I also have a desktop computer, so certain things I will still do on a traditional computer, like social media and email.

If you feel overwhelmed by it, you need to make adjustments to your phone. Have your phone be the slave, not the other way around. You can try the "business hours". So what if you're not available after a certain time (except for emergency situations).

I shut notifications completely off. It's information overload.

 

[Shane R]

Thus far I have gotten away with non-conformance. It's cost me a girlfriend a couple of times for not constantly texting back and forth. That was probably for the best. I often set my phone down somewhere for hours without looking at it. I always turn off the sound for church and leave it in the sacristy.

 

[Plenipotent]

Thus far I have gotten away with non-conformance. It's cost me a girlfriend a couple of times for not constantly texting back and forth. That was probably for the best. I often set my phone down somewhere for hours without looking at it. I always turn off the sound for church and leave it in the sacristy.

I feel this, haha.

 

[Gnarwhal]

Ok folks, think back to the 90's and even the early 2000's. Remember not being always "connected"? It seems in this hyper connected world we live in today, that someone is always able to "reach out and touch us". We're constantly connected with email, social media, text messaging or we have a phone in our pocket which allows someone to reach us no matter where we may be.

I remember if someone wanted to get a hold of me, I'd have to be at home. If I wanted to send an email? I had to physically get up, go to my computer, connect to AOL (You've got mail!). Everything was more deliberate "back then". Now, everything is always "on". I don't necessarily mind being connected, however there's just no "off" times anymore. It's expected that you always are available either to text, call or email.

Hotels have Wifi, I can download a copy of the latest Linux distro if I wanted to while sitting at the beach via my phone. Or I can check my stocks, buy crypto, manage a network of computers all from my phone with the calm sound of waves in the distance...

I guess I'm just tired of it. If I truly could, I'd drop my phone and use my old Psion 5 PDA from 1997 as a daily driver just to keep somewhat organized. I'm very tempted to put "business hours 9-5" as voice mail. Didn't get me during that time? Too bad, I'm OFF-LINE, disconnected outside of those hours.

Anyone else feel somewhat overwhelmed by being always connected? I mean, some good has come from it, but too much of a good thing and all that...

Boy I've had these same exact thoughts for years. I think about how my entire career revolves around digital media and using the latest technology to make it better, but I still feel like some kind of neo luddite because I wish I could excise so much of it from my life like a cancerous tumor.

I do indeed miss the days you describe in the 90s. When we were unreachable if we left the house, and people just left messages on our answering machines. I don't think people have accounted for all the ways being reachable today contributes to our anxieties and stresses.

I even miss the days when families had one desktop computer for everyone to use rather than everyone having portable devices that they'd carry off to their rooms or private corners of the house to be sucked into. Now that I'm a husband and a father I'm thinking about reshaping my household back to that as much as I can, but I'll have to wait until my stepchildren are out of the house. They're 18 and have their own devices - laptops, iPhones, Apple Watches, and I'm not going to tell them to get rid of them. Especially because they're adults now. But my son and any other children my wife and I have won't have phones until he/they are old enough to drive, like I did.

I work from home so hopefully having one family computer is doable considering how much I need to use it, and how kids will inevitably need to use it as well when they get old enough to do homework.

I'd also like to get rid of my iPhone. I went from having basic Verizon flip phones in 2008 to a Palm Centro in 2009 then I got my first iPhone when they released them on the Verizon network in 2011, and being an Apple fiend I never looked back. But now I'm in a place where I'd rather not have a smart phone on my person. The problem is so many vital aspects of my life have become intertwined with my smartphone, I use it to pay some of my bills and make other purchases. I also use an app on there to connect to my work at certain times during the day, which is important for my job.

I'd love it if I could find alternatives for the needs I have with the iPhone now, and revert back to a basic flip phone of some sort. Little by little whittle away at all the digital tech in my life. But I'm in a conflict with myself because I'd be lying if I said I didn't like tech, I've been an Apple guy since I was a toddler.

It sure is exhausting though, especially because the things we're constantly connected to feed us endless amounts of nonsense and anger-provoking content.

 

[AlexB23]

Ok folks, think back to the 90's and even the early 2000's. Remember not being always "connected"? It seems in this hyper connected world we live in today, that someone is always able to "reach out and touch us". We're constantly connected with email, social media, text messaging or we have a phone in our pocket which allows someone to reach us no matter where we may be.

I remember if someone wanted to get a hold of me, I'd have to be at home. If I wanted to send an email? I had to physically get up, go to my computer, connect to AOL (You've got mail!). Everything was more deliberate "back then". Now, everything is always "on". I don't necessarily mind being connected, however there's just no "off" times anymore. It's expected that you always are available either to text, call or email.

Hotels have Wifi, I can download a copy of the latest Linux distro if I wanted to while sitting at the beach via my phone. Or I can check my stocks, buy crypto, manage a network of computers all from my phone with the calm sound of waves in the distance...

I guess I'm just tired of it. If I truly could, I'd drop my phone and use my old Psion 5 PDA from 1997 as a daily driver just to keep somewhat organized. I'm very tempted to put "business hours 9-5" as voice mail. Didn't get me during that time? Too bad, I'm OFF-LINE, disconnected outside of those hours.

Anyone else feel somewhat overwhelmed by being always connected? I mean, some good has come from it, but too much of a good thing and all that...

I like your idea of making your voicemail say "9-5 only". For me, I switched my phone to black and white mode (greyscale), so I read the news less, as it can be dark. Anime and documentaries can be viewed anywhere on YT, which is pretty cool, but in the past people used to have to wait to rent a DVD. That is why I began to rent DVDs from the library, to practice patience, and ditch Netflix. Now, I only have HBO (shared) and Prime (shared). The DVDs are free to rent for a week at my local library. No Paramount or Disney Plus required. Not everything has to be instantaneous. I can wait a few days for movies to be transferred between libraries.

 

[Owlette]

I feel this way too sometimes! I know people who have expected a response literally within a few minutes of texting me. It gets to be too much. I remember when my friends would call me on the landline, or I’d write emails every few days or my family from a different state. Things were much simpler. Sometimes it‘s really nice to be able to reach so easily, but sometimes the lines are a little too blurry.