So you are in the hospital...

[Akita Suggagaki]

And the chaplain knocks on the door.

"Hello. I am chaplain A. Do you mind if talk with you moment?"

We ant to respect you and your beliefs. Do you have a religious or church preference we can accommodate?

Do you mind if I ask you about your support system? Do you fee you have good support/ Family? friends?

How are you coping with this hospitalization? Is there anyway I can help?

Is there anything that might be troubling you that you would like to talk about?

Would you like me to pry for you?"


I have been that chaplain for nearly 30 years and I am still working on my approach. A friend suggested I could bee more conversational rather than so structured. Of course some people need no invitation to share. It just all coms our. Others can use a little more invitation. But I don't want to interrogate. It is important to determine religious preference. That is Joint Commission requirement. So much of it is rapport, building relationship of trust. there is need of flexibility but also a need for focus.

I am just looking for a little feedback here. What, if anything, would you expect from the hospital chaplain? How much of your struggle would you be willing to share with a stranger? Maybe more than with a friend?

Thanks

 

[Paidiske]

I've only been on one side of those conversations, when I was a CPE intern, rather than a patient. It's possible that what I think I would want as a patient might be very different from what I would actually want if I were ill or injured enough to be in hospital.

That said, my only comment - and you have far more experience with this than I do, so take it for what it's worth - is that no matter how good you are, some people simply aren't going to want to engage, and that's fine. But beyond that, different people are going to respond to a different approach, so perhaps the primary skill is one of reading people quickly and being able to adjust to where they are?

I take my hat off to you, though. You're doing a very tough ministry, and it matters.

 

[The Liturgist]

And the chaplain knocks on the door.

"Hello. I am chaplain A. Do you mind if talk with you moment?"

We ant to respect you and your beliefs. Do you have a religious or church preference we can accommodate?

Do you mind if I ask you about your support system? Do you fee you have good support/ Family? friends?

How are you coping with this hospitalization? Is there anyway I can help?

Is there anything that might be troubling you that you would like to talk about?

Would you like me to pry for you?"


I have been that chaplain for nearly 30 years and I am still working on my approach. A friend suggested I could bee more conversational rather than so structured. Of course some people need no invitation to share. It just all coms our. Others can use a little more invitation. But I don't want to interrogate. It is important to determine religious preference. That is Joint Commission requirement. So much of it is rapport, building relationship of trust. there is need of flexibility but also a need for focus.

I am just looking for a little feedback here. What, if anything, would you expect from the hospital chaplain? How much of your struggle would you be willing to share with a stranger? Maybe more than with a friend?

Thanks

The way you approach it would personally have been very welcome when I was hospitalized for a week back in January with multiple pulmonary embolisms, and no chaplain visited me at all. The experience was rather traumatic actually.

 

[timothyu]

It sounds good to me. Non aggressive and easy to focus on.
On my stay I remember saying to him, you should see life from my side right now and laughed. Morphine will do that.
I guess he figured I had a handle on things and left.

 

[Akita Suggagaki]

the primary skill is one of reading people quickly and being able to adjust to where they are?

Thank you. yes, adapting to the patient quickly is essential. There are so many variables, how they feel that moment, nature of the illness, age, family ,etc. Most difficult in the ER trauma. I am glad you had CPE. A good CPE is very helpful if one is not defensive and open to critique, challenge, question.

Sometimes I meet people who have been patients years ago and they remember me. I ask them if I was very annoying.

 

[Akita Suggagaki]

The way you approach it would personally have been very welcome when I was hospitalized for a week back in January with multiple pulmonary embolisms, and no chaplain visited me at all. The experience was rather traumatic actually.

You sound like the kind of patient I look for. Not everyone cares to have a chaplain visit. One lady told me to leave simply because I am chaplain.

I think there is healing power in the telling of one's story. that is why I do what I do. Just listening without judgement, maybe helping others tap in to their own wisdom and especially facilitate an encounter with God., however they might understand "God".

 

[Akita Suggagaki]

On my stay I remember saying to him, you should see life from my side right now and laughed.

I would have said something like, "Would you want to tell me a little about your side right now?"

 

[The Liturgist]

You sound like the kind of patient I look for. Not everyone cares to have a chaplain visit. One lady told me to leave simply because I am chaplain.

I think there is healing power in the telling of one's story. that is why I do what I do. Just listening without judgement, maybe helping others tap in to their own wisdom and especially facilitate an encounter with God., however they might understand "God".

I would also have wanted you to administer Holy Unction (Annointing of the Sick with Oil) and to get me the Eucharist, and if you weren’t able to do this, to connect me with one of your colleagues of Orthodox, Anglican or Roman Catholic persuasion who could do so.

 

[timothyu]

I would have said something like, "Would you want to tell me a little about your side right now?"

Yes as did my chaplain, so I told him about how I was not being permitted to leave life during my current crisis and would have to deal with the discomfort, then we got into a conversation about how everything going to the other side made sense while coming back here seemed less appealing because it was all backwards and alien. But the point is I was being open to his presence as I understood why he was there doing his thing.

 

[Akita Suggagaki]

I tell atheists to think of me as an existential ally.

I would also have wanted you to administer Holy Unction (Annointing of the Sick with Oil) and to get me the Eucharist, and if you weren’t able to do this, to connect me with one of your colleagues of Orthodox, Anglican or Roman Catholic persuasion who could do so.

Yes, every Catholic gets that invitation.

 

[Akita Suggagaki]

Yes as did my chaplain, so I told him about how I was not being permitted to leave life then we got into a conversation about how everything going to the other side made sense while coming back here seemed less appealing because it was all backwards and alien. But the point is I was being open to his presence as I understood why he was there doing his thing.

Did you find the interaction helpful?

 

[Reasonably Sane]

And the chaplain knocks on the door.

"Hello. I am chaplain A. Do you mind if talk with you moment?"

We ant to respect you and your beliefs. Do you have a religious or church preference we can accommodate?

Do you mind if I ask you about your support system? Do you fee you have good support/ Family? friends?

How are you coping with this hospitalization? Is there anyway I can help?

Is there anything that might be troubling you that you would like to talk about?

Would you like me to pry for you?"


I have been that chaplain for nearly 30 years and I am still working on my approach. A friend suggested I could bee more conversational rather than so structured. Of course some people need no invitation to share. It just all coms our. Others can use a little more invitation. But I don't want to interrogate. It is important to determine religious preference. That is Joint Commission requirement. So much of it is rapport, building relationship of trust. there is need of flexibility but also a need for focus.

I am just looking for a little feedback here. What, if anything, would you expect from the hospital chaplain? How much of your struggle would you be willing to share with a stranger? Maybe more than with a friend?

Thanks

I spent almost a month in the hospital before and after open heart surgery about 7 months ago. I never saw a chaplain come into my room nor did I need one. My wife and I are strong Christians as is our friend network. I was completely covered. I didn't need a chaplain any more than my wife needed open heart surgery herself. I was good.

i.e. I can't speak for non-Christians facing life or death. But I probably would have treated a chaplain the way I treat people here - start talking about the tenets of Christianity in general. It always seems to be an "iron sharpening iron" thing for me.

Edit: I will throw one thing out. For a few weeks before and a couple after surgery, I was placed on anti-depressants. One thing I learned from this thing is that "depressed" people sometimes are looking at an actual medical condition. That is, without the drugs, there was not a danged thing I could do about the depression. I tried prayer, mind games, and everything else. Nothing worked except the drugs. But when I had sufficiently physically healed I volunteered to be weaned off them and everything was fine. It's completely gone now and has been for a very long time.

I'd have survived without the drugs, but they sure allowed me to sleep, which is what the depression was preventing.

 

[The Liturgist]

I tell atheists to think of me as an existential ally.

Yes, every Catholic gets that invitation.

My understanding is that under the Code of Canon Law of the Eastern Catholic Churches if you can’t arrange a priest for an Eastern Orthodox, Oriental Orthodox, Assyrian or, if I recall, a member of the Polish National Catholic Church (I am pretty sure they are included), they are allowed to receive the sacraments from Catholic priests if they are properly disposed to do so.

And furthermore in an emergency, or in extremis, this even applies to Protestants if memory serves, with some caveats.

 

[The Liturgist]

I spent almost a month in the hospital before and after open heart surgery about 7 months ago. I never saw a chaplain come into my room nor did I need one. My wife and I are strong Christians as is our friend network. I was completely covered. I didn't need a chaplain any more than my wife needed open heart surgery herself. I was good.

i.e. I can't speak for non-Christians facing life or death. But I probably would have treated a chaplain the way I treat people here - start talking about the tenets of Christianity in general. It always seems to be an "iron sharpening iron" thing for me.

Well I am a clergyman, and I was hoping a chaplain would visit me so I could partake of the sacraments as I was legitimately frightened, and in the hospital for a week, and a over a thousand miles away from my nearest colleague.

 

[timothyu]

Did you find the interaction helpful?

Sorry, not particularly. I did it more for him out of respect for his vocation. But I do understand how those involved with ritual would see visitations differently.

 

[Akita Suggagaki]

That is, without the drugs, there was not a danged thing I could do about the depression. I tried prayer, mind games, and everything else. Nothing worked except the drugs. But when I had sufficiently physically healed I volunteered to be weaned off them and everything was fine. It's completely gone now and has been for a very long time.

Do you think just sharing you story with someone might have helped?

 

[Akita Suggagaki]

I did it more for him out of respect for his vocation

That is something I am concerned about. I don't want people to feel that they need to accommodate or entertain me. They have enough going on.

 

[Reasonably Sane]

Do you think just sharing you story with someone might have helped?

I was surrounded by loved ones and was sharing my story. Before this happened to me my attitude about people with depression was basically, "man up!" Then It happened to me as an actual medical condition due to my heart failure. You might as well try to tell a drunk person to stop being drunk. But as I healed after the surgery it went away, along with all the other peripheral anomalies. Without sharing too much information I'll just scratch the surface: I had to pee in the bathtub because I had to stand to pee, but it came out both ends, if you get my drift.

There was much more, but in the end it all healed. Even the ED... I was a mess, seriously, and depression was just one of the problems I had zero control over.

 

[Akita Suggagaki]

I was surrounded by loved ones and was sharing my story. Before this happened to me my attitude about people with depression was basically, "man up!" Then It happened to me as an actual medical condition due to my heart failure. You might as well try to tell a drunk person to stop being drunk. But as I healed after the surgery it went away, along with all the other peripheral anomalies. Without sharing too much information I'll just scratch the surface: I had to pee in the bathtub because I had to stand to pee, but it came out both ends, if you get my drift.

There was much more, but in the end it all healed. Even the ED... I was a mess, seriously, and depression was just one of the problems I had zero control over.

I'm glad you made it back.

 

[timothyu]

I don't want people to feel that they need to accommodate or entertain me.

If they do they are not self absorbed, more likely following God's will rather than their own. Might be an indicator how to approach them, no?