Please say a prayer for me

[Terri]

I am having such a difficult time. I come to this forum to try to talk and find that I become mute. I get nauseous, I have trouble breathing. The words just won't come out. I feel like I am going to explode and still the words won't come out.

Some days are better than others. But, most days I feel this way. I try to read the threads. I see the thread about your favorite memory and I get nauseous and no memory will come.

It seems to be getting worse, not better. I feel like the silence is killing me, but I can't break through it.

I know you all know my anguish. Please say a prayer for me is you have time.

 

[Terri]

God Has Chosen Me

by Mrs. Charles E. Cowman

I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction" (Isa. 48:10).

Does not the Word come like a soft shower, assuaging the fury of the flame? Yes, is it not an asbestos armor, against which the heat has no power? Let the affliction come--

God has chosen me. Poverty, thou mayest stride in at my door; but God is in the house already, and He has chosen me. Sickness, thou mayest intrude; but I have a balsam ready--

God has chosen me. Whatever befall me in this vale of tears, I know that He has chosen me.Fear not, Christian; Jesus is with thee. In all thy fiery trials, His presence is both thy comfort and safety.

He will never leave one whom He has chosen for His own. "Fear not, for I am with thee," is His sure word of promise to His chosen ones in "the furnace of affliction." --C. H. Spurgeon

Pain's furnace heat within me quivers,
God's breath upon the flame doth blow;
And all my heart in anguish shivers
And trembles at the fiery glow;
And yet I whisper, "As God will!"
And in the hottest fire hold still.

He comes and lays my heart, all heated,
On the hard anvil, minded so
Into His own fair shape to beat it
With His great hammer, blow on blow;
And yet I whisper, "As God will!"
And at His heaviest blows hold still.

He takes my softened heart and beats it;
The sparks fly off at every blow;
He turns it o'er and o'er and heats it,
And lets it cool, and makes it glow;
And yet I whisper, "As God will!"
And in His mighty hand hold still.

Why should I murmur? for the sorrow
Thus only longer-lived would be;
The end may come, and will tomorrow,
When God has done His work in me;
So I say trusting, "As God will!"
And, trusting to the end, hold still.
--Julius Sturm

The burden of suffering seems a tombstone hung about our necks, while in reality it is only the weight which is necessary to keep down the diver while he is hunting for pearls. --Richter

 

[McWilliams]

When we experience a severe injury we have no hesitation about allowing the expertise of a physician to come to our aid! However, we at times need the assistance of a physician when we are stuck in a state of severe grief and nothing seems to be helping, feeling hopeless about the situation improving and are having impaired sleep and difficulty talking of our feelings! Often a mild antidepressant for even a brief period of time will prove to be of great benefit, allowing increased sleep and feelings of more relaxed ability to share our thoughts and even will help us to organize our thoughts! Yes, it is a crutch. A crutch is what we use temporarily until a limb heals. We dont use it forever, but just for a time until we are back in control, back into a safety zone! God instructs us to be discerning and we should take the best care possible of ourself! Often that involves a little help from a physician!
God bless,

 

[CountryLady]

Terri, I completely understand. I'm praying for you and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for the words of encouragement.

McWilliams it does help to discuss these problems with our doctors, as they may be able to help us. Thank you for your kind words of advice.

 

[robert adams]

Terri,

I understand. It took a total emotional crash and burn in front of a roomful of people for me to start functioning, again. Not highly recommended. I am praying for you.

Bob

 

[robert adams]

Terri,

How are you doing?

Bob

 

[Terri]

Terri,

How are you doing?

Bob

Hi Bob.

Just wanted to thank you and everyone for their prayers for me. You have all been so kind to me.

I'm still hanging in there.

I think it was very brave of you Bob to be able to break down in front of a roomfull of people. I went to a bereavement group for awhile, but never had the courage to say much. Of course, it didn't help much since I couldn't say anything so I quit going. I feel like such a coward!

I went to the doctor yesterday as Mc had suggested. I told him of all of my silly woes. lol He gave me a bunch of stuff to take to calm me down but I haven't had the courage to take any of it yet. I've never really liked drugs of any type. And, as I don't have any experience with them, I am rather afraid to take them, especially when I feel so vunerable to possible addiction.

I'm sure though that what ever happens that Our Dear Heavenly Father will take care of me and also all of you, my dear brothers and sisters in Christ that have sufferened the horrible loss of their beloved spouse.

I'm not really sure if I'm going to be able to post much for awhile. But, even if I'm not here, I will keep you all in my prayers.

May Our Dear Heavenly Father richly bless you all.

 

[CountryLady]

Praying for you Terri, so glad you went to the doctor. You'll have the medicine if you feel you need it, so that is good. Big hugs to you. Please do come and read the thread's even if you don't post, we are all here for you if you do need someone to talk too. E-mail or pm anytime. God bless you.

 

[Hisbygrace]

Hi Terri,
I do understand what you are going through. I lost my beloved husband three years ago.
We were married for thirty eight years and best friends. I too found that in grieving it does seem to get worse before it gets better. I went to a grief group for a while after my husband died at the request of my children who were worried about me. But everyone in the group were far more advanced in their grief than me and mostly talked about going out and meeting someone. I quit going, because I couldn't contemplate ever wanting anyone again. God has been really good to me and gets me through each day. Although the steps of grief are the same for everyone, we sometimes go through the steps at different times. God will see you through if you will but trust Him. He knows all that you are feeling and wants to be your assurance.
Dear Heavenly Father, I ask in the name of Your Son Jesus the Christ, that You would be with Terri and carry her through this season of her life. May she feel You near her each day and may Your love cover her at all times. May Your peace fill her and may she begin to remember the good times with her spouse. May she be able to open up and talk about him with others who wish to share his memory. In Jesus precious name. Amen.

 

[Terri]

Praying for you Terri, so glad you went to the doctor. You'll have the medicine if you feel you need it, so that is good. Big hugs to you. Please do come and read the thread's even if you don't post, we are all here for you if you do need someone to talk too. E-mail or pm anytime. God bless you.

Thank you CL for the prayers!

I am still trying to get some words out when I can.

Thanks for the offer to talk to me my e-mail or pm too.

Please do feel free to e-mail or pm me too if you need to talk. I hope we all can help each other through these hard times.

I do feel calmer, just knowing that I have the medicine in an emergency. And, knowing that I have a doc I can go to that is kind and caring.

 

[Terri]

Hi Terri,
I do understand what you are going through. I lost my beloved husband three years ago.
We were married for thirty eight years and best friends. I too found that in grieving it does seem to get worse before it gets better. I went to a grief group for a while after my husband died at the request of my children who were worried about me. But everyone in the group were far more advanced in their grief than me and mostly talked about going out and meeting someone. I quit going, because I couldn't contemplate ever wanting anyone again. God has been really good to me and gets me through each day. Although the steps of grief are the same for everyone, we sometimes go through the steps at different times. God will see you through if you will but trust Him. He knows all that you are feeling and wants to be your assurance.
Dear Heavenly Father, I ask in the name of Your Son Jesus the Christ, that You would be with Terri and carry her through this season of her life. May she feel You near her each day and may Your love cover her at all times. May Your peace fill her and may she begin to remember the good times with her spouse. May she be able to open up and talk about him with others who wish to share his memory. In Jesus precious name. Amen.

I am so sorry for your loss of your dear husband Hisbygrace.

Wow, it is so great that you had him for thirty eight years. But, I know that no amount of time is ever nearly enough. I was married to my dear Jim for 22 1/2 years and it seems like the time just disappeared in a second.

I know what you mean about it being hard when people are at a different point in grieving than you are.

Thank you for your prayer for me Hisbygrace. I will be remembering you in prayer also, along with everyone here that has lost their dear spouse.

 

[robert adams]

Terri,

Gosh, I wish could give you a wonderful zap of some sort that would make all the pain and the big hole in your soul go away. But, I still struggle, myself. This time of year does not help as it triggers memories. I find myself using three strategies in sequence; pray, cry, sleep. For variation, sometimes I change the order and do; cry, pray, sleep.

Bob

 

[Terri]

Terri,

Gosh, I wish could give you a wonderful zap of some sort that would make all the pain and the big hole in your soul go away. But, I still struggle, myself. This time of year does not help as it triggers memories. I find myself using three strategies in sequence; pray, cry, sleep. For variation, sometimes I change the order and do; cry, pray, sleep.

Bob

Oh Bob, that is a wonderful thought! It would indeed be wonderful if we could zap each other into feeling better.

I'm glad to see that you are having some success in keeping a sense of humor amid all of your suffering Bob--variation is always good! lol There are days when my silliness and making light of everything seems like the only thing that gets me through.

Sometimes lately all the prayer I can manage to get out is "Help me Father" over and over. But, I know that He hears me.

 

[robert adams]

Terri,

Silliness is good!! YOU GO GIRL!

Yes, I fully believe the Holy Spirit intercedes for us when we hurt too much to verbalize. It is a comfort to know that we don't have to compose our thoughts and sentences to pray. Just groans and sobs are understood by the Father.

I was very reluctant to use humor at first. I feared it might seem disrespectful. Then, one day, something slipped out that I thought was funny. I felt good and so did everyone else. Then, I thought: Hey! It is ok to laugh!

Terri, I know that this time of year will bring alot of memories that are difficult to deal with. I am praying that God give you the peace to endure.

Bob

 

[Bevlina]

Terri! I'm sorry I haven't been here so support you!
I know how you feel. Mine's been gone over 6 years now. Time for me to move on but what does one do? Humour? It happens now and then. Tell me? What the heck does one do. I'm at a loss. Silliness is great! I'm as silly as can be all the time I reckon.
And, Terri, know that we all have been there where you are too girl.

 

[Shiboleth]

Sometimes lately all the prayer I can manage to get out is "Help me Father" over and over. But, I know that He hears me.

There have been times when all I could say was "Have Mercy on Us Lord." If you're thinking of others when you say that, I believe you're praying for them.

"Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered" (Romans 8:26.)

My prayer for you (and all here) is Ba HaShem Yahoshua Ha Meshiac Adonai Hosanna. Amen.

 

[CountryLady]

Hello Shiboleth, I could not read your prayer as I can only read English. Welcome to the site.

 

[Shiboleth]

Hello Shiboleth, I could not read your prayer as I can only read English. Welcome to the site.

Hello CountryLady. I believe a rough translation would be "In the Name of Jesus Christ (Our Lord), Save Us. Let it be so."

God Bless.

 

[soblessed53]

Hi Bob.

Just wanted to thank you and everyone for their prayers for me. You have all been so kind to me.

I'm still hanging in there.

I think it was very brave of you Bob to be able to break down in front of a roomfull of people. I went to a bereavement group for awhile, but never had the courage to say much. Of course, it didn't help much since I couldn't say anything so I quit going. I feel like such a coward!

I went to the doctor yesterday as Mc had suggested. I told him of all of my silly woes. lol He gave me a bunch of stuff to take to calm me down but I haven't had the courage to take any of it yet. I've never really liked drugs of any type. And, as I don't have any experience with them, I am rather afraid to take them, especially when I feel so vunerable to possible addiction.

I'm sure though that what ever happens that Our Dear Heavenly Father will take care of me and also all of you, my dear brothers and sisters in Christ that have sufferened the horrible loss of their beloved spouse.

I'm not really sure if I'm going to be able to post much for awhile. But, even if I'm not here, I will keep you all in my prayers.

May Our Dear Heavenly Father richly bless you all.

I went through 2-6wk bereavement groups and I think they helped a lot. Maybe you could join one again? The first time I called(the funeral home had given me a card with their number on it) they advised waiting till it had been at least 6 months,as it is not a good idea when it is too fresh and overwhelming. I did go to the library and get some books on grief/bereavement till then that were a help,some more so than others. God BlessYou.

 

[Bevlina]

I am having such a difficult time. I come to this forum to try to talk and find that I become mute. I get nauseous, I have trouble breathing. The words just won't come out. I feel like I am going to explode and still the words won't come out.

Some days are better than others. But, most days I feel this way. I try to read the threads. I see the thread about your favorite memory and I get nauseous and no memory will come.

It seems to be getting worse, not better. I feel like the silence is killing me, but I can't break through it.

I know you all know my anguish. Please say a prayer for me is you have time.

I reckon we should all be praying for Terri. Terri, you are in my prayers Sweetie.
Just know that we have been where you've been.
You don't have to post, just know we know your pain as we have felt that same pain. But also know, that it does blunten, that it does fade a little. That God will never, ever give you more than you can bear. You can get through Terri. Your husband would have wanted you to get through Sweetheart. He would never have wanted to see you like this. Yes, he'd have known you'd grieve, but he would never have wanted to see you in so much anguish and pain.
Please Sweetie, just hang in there and pray for strength to get through. You sound as though you are suffering from anxiety attacks which is perfectly common. It was two years before I could drive the car out of the town because of anxiety.
Stay strong Honey, and remember what God stated in the Old Testament.
Be still, and know, that I, am God.
He will help you pass through these troubled waters and hold you firmly in His arms. Trust me. He will!