Hey you guys
So I invited the first woman in my life on a 'date' this Saturday and could really use your help!
My thoughts about this is going in all sorts of directions, so I'm trying to calm myself a bit. You're insights and all you can provide is highly welcome.
A bit of back story. I met this wonderful woman 4 years ago at the same place we were studying. But we never really talked, just a few greetings. I admired her from the first time I caught my eyes on her. However, I got into another relationship and we didn't talk since. That relationship lasted only 2 years, so the last 6 months in school there were times of eye contact, her warm and kind eyes left attraction and signals in me. But I have never really been the one to approach a girl, so I never found the courage to do anything about it. Until 3 weeks ago. I'm 31, ended my education, and at a place where I've been thinking seriously about relationships and the possibility of starting a family, God willing. Many prayers later I got the courage to write her a message. I didn't really think that could be done, but I did it anyway, and I'm surprised, happy and a little afraid that she said yes. It's suddenly very real, it seems like it's happening.
But it's just one meeting, we are just going to drink some coffee while walking in a park. So I need to calm my expectations with wisdom. Here's what I'm trying to do.
1. Surrendering this whole meeting to God. He knows if I'm suitible for her and vice versa. It's completely out of my hands. He gives and takes, so I'm just trying to take each movement as a gift, whether we have a good talk, or it's the only time we'll ever meet. God is in control and I'm absolutely not.
2. Faith makes so much more sense to me now than in a long time. I'm dealing with quite a bit of self-doubt, mainly because of my last relationship and how that ended. In short, I walked away because of our differences, both being stressed about exams and new work, her moving quite far to a new town for work etc. Which I ended up regretting, am still working through guilt. So I'm trying to return to faith everytime that happens, to walk with God, in his grace, forgiveness, his plans. Ask and you shall be given. If I doubt that might be a self fulfilling prophecy. - Is it okay to have faith and have good expectations, while also being open and accepting that it might never happen? I'm pretty sure that doubts had a destructive role in ending our relationship. I didn't seek council, I didn't ask God enough about it, I let the doubt get hold of me. Since, as the shock of how that ended, I've been attending church, talking to a mentor in church, the priest as much as I can. Been to small groups and trying tog et involved in the church, as I've realised I can't by myself live this life.
3. I know very little about this woman, and her about me. So there's a chance that there won't be a chemistry I know. So while I takes this meeting very seriously, I'm trying to workout a system of beliefs about dating and relationships in general. As I hope never to repeat my last failures, at least to the same degree. God helping.
Is there something you would change, thought provoke me about, questions, add or what not, please do. Thank you.
Sincerely, Mathias
So I invited the first woman in my life on a 'date' this Saturday and could really use your help!
My thoughts about this is going in all sorts of directions, so I'm trying to calm myself a bit. You're insights and all you can provide is highly welcome.
A bit of back story. I met this wonderful woman 4 years ago at the same place we were studying. But we never really talked, just a few greetings. I admired her from the first time I caught my eyes on her. However, I got into another relationship and we didn't talk since. That relationship lasted only 2 years, so the last 6 months in school there were times of eye contact, her warm and kind eyes left attraction and signals in me. But I have never really been the one to approach a girl, so I never found the courage to do anything about it. Until 3 weeks ago. I'm 31, ended my education, and at a place where I've been thinking seriously about relationships and the possibility of starting a family, God willing. Many prayers later I got the courage to write her a message. I didn't really think that could be done, but I did it anyway, and I'm surprised, happy and a little afraid that she said yes. It's suddenly very real, it seems like it's happening.
But it's just one meeting, we are just going to drink some coffee while walking in a park. So I need to calm my expectations with wisdom. Here's what I'm trying to do.
1. Surrendering this whole meeting to God. He knows if I'm suitible for her and vice versa. It's completely out of my hands. He gives and takes, so I'm just trying to take each movement as a gift, whether we have a good talk, or it's the only time we'll ever meet. God is in control and I'm absolutely not.
2. Faith makes so much more sense to me now than in a long time. I'm dealing with quite a bit of self-doubt, mainly because of my last relationship and how that ended. In short, I walked away because of our differences, both being stressed about exams and new work, her moving quite far to a new town for work etc. Which I ended up regretting, am still working through guilt. So I'm trying to return to faith everytime that happens, to walk with God, in his grace, forgiveness, his plans. Ask and you shall be given. If I doubt that might be a self fulfilling prophecy. - Is it okay to have faith and have good expectations, while also being open and accepting that it might never happen? I'm pretty sure that doubts had a destructive role in ending our relationship. I didn't seek council, I didn't ask God enough about it, I let the doubt get hold of me. Since, as the shock of how that ended, I've been attending church, talking to a mentor in church, the priest as much as I can. Been to small groups and trying tog et involved in the church, as I've realised I can't by myself live this life.
3. I know very little about this woman, and her about me. So there's a chance that there won't be a chemistry I know. So while I takes this meeting very seriously, I'm trying to workout a system of beliefs about dating and relationships in general. As I hope never to repeat my last failures, at least to the same degree. God helping.
Is there something you would change, thought provoke me about, questions, add or what not, please do. Thank you.
Sincerely, Mathias
