So last week I heard my neighbor talking to my other neighbors about me.He said,"You see that girl sitting right there (i was smoking in my smoking chair)..she's crazy..no man I mean real crazy..she does drugs..she does all kinds of drugs..she even asked me if i knew where i could get some weed from one time (not true)..i hear her talk about....(couldn't hear airplane) all the time with her knowing im (curse word) sitting out here the whole time." Then, last night he was talking to my next door neighbors brother talking about how i cussed someone out on the phone one time..then he was telling him, "Man she wants me..she reallly wants me..im telling you she wants me." My next door neighbor's brother says, " Go for it man she's within walking distance."
I was furious about him talking about me.I wanted to go punch him in the face.Then, I figured out why he was talking crap about me.He wants me.He's obsessed with me.It's like when your'e in the 5th grade and a boy picks on you and is mean to you but he secretly likes you except he's a 30 something year old man.
The crazy thing is I do want him.I've wanted him for 5 years. Except there's a couple of problems with that #1 he's married #2 he has a kid #3 he lives on the other side of the street from me in the neighborhood. #4 he's a drunk #5 I have a bf
Now, after I told my mom about him talking crap about me and him wanting me and stuff..she says he's "psycho"..told me to smoke in the backyard..so I did..I listen to Pandora Radio on my iPhone..I like to dance to my music while sitting there..I walk in the house.She asks me,"Do you dance like that out front?" I lied and sayed "no" I said "why, how do I dance." She says "You dance like a stripper."
so I think he say me out front dancing and thought i was doing it for him..which i wasn't weird enough..i was just enjoying my music..
but he must have liked it evidently..he's literally crazy for me..so much he can't stand it..I had an idea before all this that he wanted me..He'd walk over and "Can I have a cigerette." then he'd get nervous and walk away..next day "Can I get a light." walks away nervous can't even look me in the eye.I thought it was funny.
Now the fact that I know he wants me.I'm so like woah.Mesmerized..and the fact that he's so nervous to ask me is driving me crazy..i have never had such a strong urge to have sex with a particular person before...I don't know why..I don't even know why I'm attracted to him...just looks i guess.But then there's something about him that just drives me crazy inside.I don't know if I can handle myself.
I have a boyfriend whom I love so much...and its like he dont even matter when i think about this other man.I feel horrible about it.I feel like I can't change.I don't know how to be a good girl.
I was furious about him talking about me.I wanted to go punch him in the face.Then, I figured out why he was talking crap about me.He wants me.He's obsessed with me.It's like when your'e in the 5th grade and a boy picks on you and is mean to you but he secretly likes you except he's a 30 something year old man.
The crazy thing is I do want him.I've wanted him for 5 years. Except there's a couple of problems with that #1 he's married #2 he has a kid #3 he lives on the other side of the street from me in the neighborhood. #4 he's a drunk #5 I have a bf
Now, after I told my mom about him talking crap about me and him wanting me and stuff..she says he's "psycho"..told me to smoke in the backyard..so I did..I listen to Pandora Radio on my iPhone..I like to dance to my music while sitting there..I walk in the house.She asks me,"Do you dance like that out front?" I lied and sayed "no" I said "why, how do I dance." She says "You dance like a stripper."
so I think he say me out front dancing and thought i was doing it for him..which i wasn't weird enough..i was just enjoying my music..
but he must have liked it evidently..he's literally crazy for me..so much he can't stand it..I had an idea before all this that he wanted me..He'd walk over and "Can I have a cigerette." then he'd get nervous and walk away..next day "Can I get a light." walks away nervous can't even look me in the eye.I thought it was funny.
Now the fact that I know he wants me.I'm so like woah.Mesmerized..and the fact that he's so nervous to ask me is driving me crazy..i have never had such a strong urge to have sex with a particular person before...I don't know why..I don't even know why I'm attracted to him...just looks i guess.But then there's something about him that just drives me crazy inside.I don't know if I can handle myself.
I have a boyfriend whom I love so much...and its like he dont even matter when i think about this other man.I feel horrible about it.I feel like I can't change.I don't know how to be a good girl.