Medical school jeopardizing future marriage

[trevjelinek]

Hello I have never done a forum before but here it goes. My fiance and I are set to get married in December, but lately it seems like we won't even get there because of aspects of my medical training that make her extremely uneasy. In my training lately we have had to be paired with classmates of the opposite gender and touch around intimate areas such as the buttocks to learn adjustments of the pelvis and such. If anyone is aware this is called Osteopathic Manipulative Medicine and is part of DO (pretty much same degree as a MD) training. My fiance has said that because she is uncomfortable with this I have to find a way to avoid this and avoid aspects of my training that will hinder the sanctity of our physical relationship. She insists that a Godly husband would not let his future wife feel this way and that I should be willing to show sacrificial love to choose her wellness over my profession. I was just hoping to find any sort of guidance or perspective on this if anyone has any because I am super lost.

 

[sandman]

Hello I have never done a forum before but here it goes. My fiance and I are set to get married in December, but lately it seems like we won't even get there because of aspects of my medical training that make her extremely uneasy. In my training lately we have had to be paired with classmates of the opposite gender and touch around intimate areas such as the buttocks to learn adjustments of the pelvis and such. If anyone is aware this is called Osteopathic Manipulative Medicine and is part of DO (pretty much same degree as a MD) training. My fiance has said that because she is uncomfortable with this I have to find a way to avoid this and avoid aspects of my training that will hinder the sanctity of our physical relationship. She insists that a Godly husband would not let his future wife feel this way and that I should be willing to show sacrificial love to choose her wellness over my profession. I was just hoping to find any sort of guidance or perspective on this if anyone has any because I am super lost.

I think you already know …this is not about you or whether you are or not you are a godly husband. She feels this way because it crosses some of her moral boundaries, and unfortunately, she has shifted the blame to you …. that is a control issue. The only thing you can do is not talk about this aspect of training with her.

I have never met a DO who was gender specific which makes me wonder.... are you going to be the first? Does your fiancée realize this could be some of the least conflicting things that you will do in your practice.

I know this probably isn’t a viable option but since she already knows about your training and is opposed to it with classmates ….maybe she would be willing to come into class so you could do the training on her instead…