Is it me?

[Lybrah]

I meet a lot of men on dating sites. Things are good initially but then it gets ruined. Usually the guy wants to start having sex and then it ends. Sometimes though things get weird.

The guy I was speaking to has been divorced a few times. I don’t usually date divorced men because that’s adultery unless the person fought for the marriage and it was the other person who wanted it. I listened to this guy’s story and decided I was okay with it. We got to talking and he was really intense. He was saying God wants us to talk (we have not met yet and this was the first phone call). He kept thanking me over and over for listening to his story and giving him a chance and not judging him. One time is okay but he kept repeating himself. After we got off the phone he sent a few messages reiterating the thankfulness over and over again, then a YouTube video of a song about gratitude and then another message about how thankful he was. Then he sent his location. I’m sorry but this is just a little bizarre and I don’t know if I want to go forward with him. He said some other dumb stuff too during the conversation. Am I being too crazy here? Should I still proceed because I’m in my late forties?

 

[trophy33]

I meet a lot of men on dating sites. Things are good initially but then it gets ruined. Usually the guy wants to start having sex and then it ends. Sometimes though things get weird.

The guy I was speaking to has been divorced a few times. I don’t usually date divorced men because that’s adultery unless the person fought for the marriage and it was the other person who wanted it. I listened to this guy’s story and decided I was okay with it. We got to talking and he was really intense. He was saying God wants us to talk (we have not met yet and this was the first phone call). He kept thanking me over and over for listening to his story and giving him a chance and not judging him. One time is okay but he kept repeating himself. After we got off the phone he sent a few messages reiterating the thankfulness over and over again, then a YouTube video of a song about gratitude and then another message about how thankful he was. Then he sent his location. I’m sorry but this is just a little bizarre and I don’t know if I want to go forward with him. He said some other dumb stuff too during the conversation. Am I being too crazy here? Should I still proceed because I’m in my late forties?

I would stay away from divorced people, no matter how convincing stories they sell. Too risky.

 

[peaceful-forest]

It is concerning that he keeps apologizing. Ask him nicely why he keeps apologizing.

If you haven't, pray to God about being with this man.

 

[Lybrah]

He sent me more videos today of his garden.

 

[Citanul]

One video of his garden I could understand. Discovering what the other person is interested in is all part of the process and sharing pictures/videos can form part of that discussion. Multiple videos might be a bit too much, but not necessarily.

However, divorced "a few times" would be a concern to me. Leaving aside whether it's OK to date a divorced person, I would say that divorced once isn't necessarily a problem. Relationships do end and they're not necessarily at fault. Divorced more than once is worrying as it suggests a pattern. That added to his claim that God wanted the two of you to talk and him continually saying how thankful he is means that I'd advise you not to take it any further.

 

[d taylor]

I meet a lot of men on dating sites. Things are good initially but then it gets ruined. Usually the guy wants to start having sex and then it ends. Sometimes though things get weird.

The guy I was speaking to has been divorced a few times. I don’t usually date divorced men because that’s adultery unless the person fought for the marriage and it was the other person who wanted it. I listened to this guy’s story and decided I was okay with it. We got to talking and he was really intense. He was saying God wants us to talk (we have not met yet and this was the first phone call). He kept thanking me over and over for listening to his story and giving him a chance and not judging him. One time is okay but he kept repeating himself. After we got off the phone he sent a few messages reiterating the thankfulness over and over again, then a YouTube video of a song about gratitude and then another message about how thankful he was. Then he sent his location. I’m sorry but this is just a little bizarre and I don’t know if I want to go forward with him. He said some other dumb stuff too during the conversation. Am I being too crazy here? Should I still proceed because I’m in my late forties?

So you are saying this guy has been divorced a few times. But you listen to his story and decided it was ok.
I am guessing a few = 2 times, so in each divorce he was not at fault and if it is more than 2 times. In each divorce story is ok, something does not add up.

Any person who says God is saying something, i would avoid, God speaks through The Bible.

 

[Lybrah]

So you are saying this guy has been divorced a few times. But you listen to his story and decided it was ok.
I am guessing a few = 2 times, so in each divorce he was not at fault and if it is more than 2 times. In each divorce story is ok, something does not add up.

Any person who says God is saying something, i would avoid, God speaks through The Bible.

He said that the first marriage he filed for divorce because the woman didn’t want to be with him. The second marriage he said he fought for it for three years and did everything the elders said but she refused to change. He filed when he realized he did all he could. But later he told me that the reason was because he didn’t love himself. He says “How could I have loved her if I didn’t love myself? Now I love myself and I am ready to begin again.”

 

[TheLastGeek]

I meet a lot of men on dating sites. Things are good initially but then it gets ruined. Usually the guy wants to start having sex and then it ends. Sometimes though things get weird.

The guy I was speaking to has been divorced a few times. I don’t usually date divorced men because that’s adultery unless the person fought for the marriage and it was the other person who wanted it. I listened to this guy’s story and decided I was okay with it. We got to talking and he was really intense. He was saying God wants us to talk (we have not met yet and this was the first phone call). He kept thanking me over and over for listening to his story and giving him a chance and not judging him. One time is okay but he kept repeating himself. After we got off the phone he sent a few messages reiterating the thankfulness over and over again, then a YouTube video of a song about gratitude and then another message about how thankful he was. Then he sent his location. I’m sorry but this is just a little bizarre and I don’t know if I want to go forward with him. He said some other dumb stuff too during the conversation. Am I being too crazy here? Should I still proceed because I’m in my late forties?

Run, lol. Never, ever ignore your gut when a man seems a little "off". 99.99% of the time, your gut is right. "Divorced a few times?" Nope. Run. There's a reason (or reasons) this guy can't hold onto a wife. Do you want to be next?

Just from your description here, I'd be completely turned off by his seeming desperation for your approval and to shove himself into your life, rather than the two of you moving together at a comfortable, easy, natural pace.

Your age should never dictate anything in this regard. People can still start as friends, fall in love, court each other, etc, no matter what their age is.

 

[TheLastGeek]

He said that the first marriage he filed for divorce because the woman didn’t want to be with him. The second marriage he said he fought for it for three years and did everything the elders said but she refused to change. He filed when he realized he did all he could. But later he told me that the reason was because he didn’t love himself. He says “How could I have loved her if I didn’t love myself? Now I love myself and I am ready to begin again.”

See the common thread here? He blamed the women in both marriage failures, at least initially. My hunch is that, when he realized he was gaining your attention, he thought he'd better switch it up fast so he doesn't look like a woman-hater, and he changed his tune to something incredibly cheesy and flimsy. And if his first wife didn't want to be with him, why did HE file for the divorce? Nope, he's leaving out the whole story in both instances.

 

[d taylor]

He said that the first marriage he filed for divorce because the woman didn’t want to be with him. The second marriage he said he fought for it for three years and did everything the elders said but she refused to change. He filed when he realized he did all he could. But later he told me that the reason was because he didn’t love himself. He says “How could I have loved her if I didn’t love myself? Now I love myself and I am ready to begin again.”

I wonder a girl does not want to be with him. Either he is telling a tale or this women, who obviously must have dated this person for some amount of time. For some reason married someone she did not want to be married to, kind of strange.

 

[dayhiker]

Ya, does sound like a couple of red flags.
Definately have a very long dating and then engagement to really know him.