I think my wife has paranoia

[dime-a-dozen]

After 15 years of marriage, something has triggered in my wife and she has become paranoid about me and other family members who are trying to talk with her.

First, let me say that schizophrenia - paranoia runs in her family.

Her grandmother had to be on anti-psychotic medications for years. She has a second cousin who has a chemical imbalance with paranoia and takes medications as well. She had a first cousin who committed suicide about 7 years ago and had bipolar disorder.

My wife went through a period of about six weeks where she had hallucinations... mostly, I think, due to taking Nyquil for an on-going cough. She began to ask me things about stuff that never happened in our marriage and in her life prior to marriage.

The hallucinations included such things as she was married before, that she was promised to another man before she married me, that she believes that God told her that she was going to have a baby by another man. And several more things.

The hallucinations stopped after she stopped taking the Nyquil during the first week of January. When we figured out what it was that was causing it, we dumped it all down the sink.

But, she is now wanting to separate from me (possibly divorce). We have two boys, 6 and 11 years old, and I am frightened of losing my family in this process.

The paranoia that I refer to is found in statements that she has continued to make even after the hallucinations stopped.

She has made mention several times that she feels like the house is bugged. She asked me a couple of days ago if I sat in a certain restaurant with two other men and plotted to get rid of her. She thinks I am trying to get her a "mental" diagnosis so I can take the boys away from her. She thinks that I and her family are hiding stuff from her and won't tell her the truth about things that happened to her. She thinks that my family will cover up for me.

Her personality has changed somewhat and she keeps saying that she is in control of her life. When her mother talks to her about her grandmother's condition, she just tells her mother that there's nothing wrong with her and that she's okay.

She says she just wants to find out the "truth".

But there's no "truth" to things that she is searching answers for.

I'm not sure how to handle this or what I need to do.

Does anyone have any thoughts, prayers, comments, anything?!?!?!?

 

[Scrivner]

She is no doubt having breaks from reality. It sounds like it would be impossible for her actually to come to see and believe it. It sounds like there would just be no getting through to her. I don't know what kind of chemical or psychiatric therapy there is for such things, but I would recommend that you try to get her some help. Have her talk to a psychiatrist. Emphasize that you love her and just wish to have things checked out for her own good, health, and happiness. Write it down in a letter to her. Emphasize that you are not doing this to destroy her, or take your children away from her, but in order to fix things that seem to have gone wrong.

 

[dime-a-dozen]

She is no doubt having breaks from reality. It sounds like it would be impossible for her actually to come to see and believe it. It sounds like there would just be no getting through to her. I don't know what kind of chemical or psychiatric therapy there is for such things, but I would recommend that you try to get her some help. Have her talk to a psychiatrist. Emphasize that you love her and just wish to have things checked out for her own good, health, and happiness. Write it down in a letter to her. Emphasize that you are not doing this to destroy her, or take your children away from her, but in order to fix things that seem to have gone wrong.

Thanks for the response.

She is in a state of mind at the moment that she cannot be approached by me concerning the paranoia.

She asks me about "plotting against her" and such. I seem to be the object of most of the delusions at this time.

I'm checking into getting private insurance on Tuesday afternoon (I'm self-employed). She will be here to meet with the insurance rep as well.

She had a doctor that she went to (but won't allow me to talk to) tell her that he wouldn't do any testing because of the expense and that he didn't want it put on her medical record because it would be there the rest of her life. (Family Practice guy)

So she feels justified in saying that she doesn't need testing or anything like that. She is not a danger to herself, me, or our children at this time. She acts "normal" otherwise, but she muses over the delusions and then will ask me about things concerning it from time to time.

I'm hoping that by getting the insurance, she will make an effort to have some testing done. I'm afraid though, that if it doesn't show anything that she will feel justified in her delusions about me.

I am praying for a window of opportunity to ask her about it again (after the ins. is instated).

And I have been just showing her how much I value her and how much I love her. But there doesn't seem to be much of a break with her emotions towards me.

At least I'm taking a step to help. For any long-term treatment or counseling that may be necessary later on, we'll have the insurance to help defray the costs.

Once again, thank you.

 

[goldenviolet]

when i was an out of reality state, it took my mom and hubby to take me to the doctors. (forced by gently not letting up) find a nice lady doc that deals in this disease. she'll know what you can do.

also you can use a point of her moods when she wants you to soothe and love her. to make her feel secure by being just what she needs. ( ) ... talk to her and prepare her for going to doc. with you at her side.

it be easy or require patience, but she needs doc.

 

[pamaris]

I am so sorry you are going through this. My DH was diagnosed with schizophrenia before we were married. It was at the high point of his life; he was doing very well, then he had a breakdown, and was hospitalized. Upon his release from hospital, he chose to wander the streets as a homeless person for a few months, then went to live with his parents.

After a couple of years of bondage, he got deliverance- hands laid on him, prayer, choking, screaming, vomiting, the whole nine yards. The spirits left him at that time. Shortly thereafter, I met him and we married. Although he has been functional and employed throughout our marriage (5 years), he is very depressed and has had many bouts of paranoia and various delusions. He is not in an acute psychosis, but has many lowlying delusions that affect his decisions. The paranoia is always there but waxes and wanes.

Currently, his thinking is about the illuminati and how they have infiltrated every single institution in the world-- including every church congregation. Also, of course, the medical establishment, so he is very much against medication of any kind.

He says things that break my heart. We can't watch 2 minutes of TV without negative comments about the people out to get us. He has persistent delusions that he doesn't share with me, because he doesn't want to hear that I think they are delusions. Mostly, he keeps them to himself. It is impossible to convince a deluded person that they are deluded.

DH also claims he "just wants to know the TRUTH".

After all this, he wonders why our marriage isn't what it should be, and of course, blames me.

I wish I had some advice for you. I don't have the answer myself. I do know what you are going through though. I think there are very few people who understand what it is like to live with someone like this.

If she refuses help, you just have to take it moment by moment and take it to the Lord in prayer daily. I have no other answer but that.

 

[Brandonsmomma]

Hello,.I never knew I was schizophrenic until I went off of prescription pain pills I had become addicted to,then I went into full blown psychosis for quite a while.This happened 3 times before I gave up the pain meds.At first it was suggested this was because of the withdrawal.I am 41.My husband says I have had this all my life because of my paranoia and while under extreme stress from the withdrawal etc I had an episode.This is just so hard for me,yes I am paranoid about certain things and I am really nervous....the thought of another episode is terrifying to say the least.....I need to start treatment soon but Im paranoid about that.....no one suscepts that anything is wrong wit me other than my husband,I hate the thought of anyone knowing.......

 

[patsystone]

After 15 years of marriage, something has triggered in my wife and she has become paranoid about me and other family members who are trying to talk with her.

First, let me say that schizophrenia - paranoia runs in her family.

Her grandmother had to be on anti-psychotic medications for years. She has a second cousin who has a chemical imbalance with paranoia and takes medications as well. She had a first cousin who committed suicide about 7 years ago and had bipolar disorder.

My wife went through a period of about six weeks where she had hallucinations... mostly, I think, due to taking Nyquil for an on-going cough. She began to ask me things about stuff that never happened in our marriage and in her life prior to marriage.

The hallucinations included such things as she was married before, that she was promised to another man before she married me, that she believes that God told her that she was going to have a baby by another man. And several more things.

The hallucinations stopped after she stopped taking the Nyquil during the first week of January. When we figured out what it was that was causing it, we dumped it all down the sink.

But, she is now wanting to separate from me (possibly divorce). We have two boys, 6 and 11 years old, and I am frightened of losing my family in this process.

The paranoia that I refer to is found in statements that she has continued to make even after the hallucinations stopped.

She has made mention several times that she feels like the house is bugged. She asked me a couple of days ago if I sat in a certain restaurant with two other men and plotted to get rid of her. She thinks I am trying to get her a "mental" diagnosis so I can take the boys away from her. She thinks that I and her family are hiding stuff from her and won't tell her the truth about things that happened to her. She thinks that my family will cover up for me.

Her personality has changed somewhat and she keeps saying that she is in control of her life. When her mother talks to her about her grandmother's condition, she just tells her mother that there's nothing wrong with her and that she's okay.

She says she just wants to find out the "truth".

But there's no "truth" to things that she is searching answers for.

I'm not sure how to handle this or what I need to do.

Does anyone have any thoughts, prayers, comments, anything?!?!?!?

Hello, I feel really saddened by your experiences. I had hallucinations for a time: and everyone once in awhile the paranoia returns. The paranoia is hard to deal with because you trust no one. I thought the government was in my house spying for awhile, and I was hallucinating about seeing them everywhere. What helped in the end were anti-psychotic meds, which I has previously refused to take. Also, good teaching from the Bible about God's love and grace towards us. Take care, Patsy

 

[jamie1976]

I too have suffered in the same way as your wife is suffering now, so from my experience i can help you. First of all, there is such a thing as a Devil, and that very devil is decieving the whole world and is even controlling almost all of it. If you want to help your wife, you're going to need faith in Jesus and you will need to be EXTRA sensetive with every little thing you say to her. Your wife has become aware of the satanic presence in the world and she is being punished internally and externally for having this knowledge. By what you say, I don't think she understands what is happening to her but maybe if you let her read this email it could help. She should know that satan and his followers are just liars, bullies and cowards and should not be feared, jesus is the truth and although I believe the bible has become flawed and even corrupted in places your wife should read his teachings. Tell your wife to have faith in jesus as jesus saw the world in the same way your wife does except he saw it more clearly and had a lot more faith in god. Faith in god is what could save her from her illness. FAITH :- A SECURE BELIEF IN GOD, AND A TRUSTING ACCEPTANCE OF HIS WILL. All her illness is, is lack of faith and satanic induced confusion, YOU YOURSELF could have been used as a tool against her, I know I was used as a satanic tool before i saw the light, but didnt know until after i saw the light.