- Aug 12, 2022
- 2
- 1
- 24
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian Seeker
- Marital Status
- In Relationship
My girlfriend and her family are members of a pretty cookie cutter nondenominational American evangelical church. She's the one that introduced me to the faith and I appreciate her deeply for that.
For some time now I've been drawn to the older more traditional Protestant traditions like Anglicanism and Lutheranism. The sacramental theology seems intuitive to me, it seems obvious that an incarnate God would act through physical means. I'm also attracted to the traditional liturgy. In our church we sing modern pop songs and drink starbucks in the pews and it seems irreverent to me.
The problem is that she will not budge after I told her about my feelings. I thought it would be a non-issue, as far as I can tell nearly all Protestant groups share similar views on the really really important stuff like salvation. But she is completely fixed in her camp, she won't even consider other denominations as Christian. She says things like:
"Oh you gotta be careful those groups can be pretty Catholic"
"Why do you feel the need to look into other religions all you need is the Bible"
"All the pastors I talk to tell me that our interpretation is the correct one"
Etc, etc. We started by having a bit of a conversation/debate going over the theological points of the different camps. The biggest thing I wanted to try to get across is that it is very easy for two different people to come away from the text with different interpretations, and that these other groups aren't just making stuff up out of nowhere. Recently I think she realized that she can't just convince me I'm wrong and basically told me she's very sad but if it comes to it she'll break up with me over this. We've been together for almost 2 years, and are making plans for marriage.
If it comes down to it I don't want to fight her on this. As far as I'm concerned my salvation is not in jeopardy whether I'm Baptist or Lutheran or whatever. On the other hand I really feel that exploring these other traditions would do wonders for my spiritual growth. The last thing I want to do is lie to her about what I believe or to let this grow as resentment over time. But even if I were to convince her of the validity of other traditons, I doubt her family would approve. She has been trying to get me to talk to her father about my theological questions for months now but I'm simply terrified that he'll rebuke me outright.
The light at the end of the tunnel is that we'll be meeting together with her faith counselor at the end of the month. He is a pastor whom I trust and has been charitable with me when I've told him about my interest in other denominations. He still sits firmly in the evangelical camp though, and I really don't know how he will address this issue.
What should I do? Continue trying to convince my gf that I can explore other denominations and still be Christian, risking an end to the relationship? Bite the bullet and drop the issue? Is this a serious enough problem to end an otherwise wonderful healthy relationship? I'll accept any advice or wisdom you can give. This is my first post on the forum, so please forgive me for any faux pas.
For some time now I've been drawn to the older more traditional Protestant traditions like Anglicanism and Lutheranism. The sacramental theology seems intuitive to me, it seems obvious that an incarnate God would act through physical means. I'm also attracted to the traditional liturgy. In our church we sing modern pop songs and drink starbucks in the pews and it seems irreverent to me.
The problem is that she will not budge after I told her about my feelings. I thought it would be a non-issue, as far as I can tell nearly all Protestant groups share similar views on the really really important stuff like salvation. But she is completely fixed in her camp, she won't even consider other denominations as Christian. She says things like:
"Oh you gotta be careful those groups can be pretty Catholic"
"Why do you feel the need to look into other religions all you need is the Bible"
"All the pastors I talk to tell me that our interpretation is the correct one"
Etc, etc. We started by having a bit of a conversation/debate going over the theological points of the different camps. The biggest thing I wanted to try to get across is that it is very easy for two different people to come away from the text with different interpretations, and that these other groups aren't just making stuff up out of nowhere. Recently I think she realized that she can't just convince me I'm wrong and basically told me she's very sad but if it comes to it she'll break up with me over this. We've been together for almost 2 years, and are making plans for marriage.
If it comes down to it I don't want to fight her on this. As far as I'm concerned my salvation is not in jeopardy whether I'm Baptist or Lutheran or whatever. On the other hand I really feel that exploring these other traditions would do wonders for my spiritual growth. The last thing I want to do is lie to her about what I believe or to let this grow as resentment over time. But even if I were to convince her of the validity of other traditons, I doubt her family would approve. She has been trying to get me to talk to her father about my theological questions for months now but I'm simply terrified that he'll rebuke me outright.
The light at the end of the tunnel is that we'll be meeting together with her faith counselor at the end of the month. He is a pastor whom I trust and has been charitable with me when I've told him about my interest in other denominations. He still sits firmly in the evangelical camp though, and I really don't know how he will address this issue.
What should I do? Continue trying to convince my gf that I can explore other denominations and still be Christian, risking an end to the relationship? Bite the bullet and drop the issue? Is this a serious enough problem to end an otherwise wonderful healthy relationship? I'll accept any advice or wisdom you can give. This is my first post on the forum, so please forgive me for any faux pas.