!0 Years Later and I Miss Him More!

[Rescued One]

I can hardly stand it! I thought grief was supposed to lesson! But things are worse because I didn't know how to meet anyone who cared --- such as another old widow who has similar interests.

 

[Blade]

Please forgive me.. I knew two grand parents who had a bible study. She prayed 4h a day. Well her husband died and on the phone one day she said "Danny the lord said I will be your husband".

Nothing I can say here I know the lose of a parent which is not the same at all. I've been married 38y ..we been together over 40. Anyway.. praying

 

[Rescued One]

Thank you, Blade!

 

[Rescued One]

Thank you for 5 other responses. Hugs.

 

[Minder1964]

I can hardly stand it! I thought grief was supposed to lesson! But things are worse because I didn't know how to meet anyone who cared --- such as another old widow who has similar interests.

Hello
I hope you are well and coping better? I also have a similar conundrum as you. Not quite as long as you since I lost my wife, but gets harder, rather than easier.

 

[Rescued One]

I think we were both blessed with spouses who accepted us whereas others look for faults. I know that none of us are perfect. We have to keep our eyes on Jesus and live one day at a time. May God bless you right now!

 

[Veve13]

I can hardly stand it! I thought grief was supposed to lesson! But things are worse because I didn't know how to meet anyone who cared --- such as another old widow who has similar interests.

I can’t imagine being alone 10 years. It has only been 6 months and I am having a very hard time. I hate the nights. You must feel the same. I am still praying to wake and it all to have been a bad dream, the worst of nightmares. But so far that hasn’t occurred.

I hate the days but push myself to keep busy doing something.

I sometimes think I must surely have done something horrible to deserve this anguish. It is unbearable at times. Do you feel the same? I ask God what I did? I ask forgiveness for whatever it was I did. I tell Him I don’t understand. I ask Why? But I guess I will never know. Not that it would help. Not like I could get a do-over. Do you feel like this? Do you ask the same questions or am I just strange?

I didn’t believe for a moment that he would die. I just didn’t think about it I guess. Maybe I was a romantic and imagined us both passing on into the loving arms of our Savior in our sleep. Together.

I am healthy. But I sure don’t want to live. This life now is like a hell. Do you have feelings like this too?

 

[Rescued One]

Well, my life was always strange; I came from a weird American family and all non-religion. I'm mostly stranded. No car and no Frontier phone service even though the bill is paid. My friend who called me regularly to chat doen't have email!

I watch news and weather and do ask God what is going on and why.

Here's one thing I did to cope: I made a list of reasons to thank God. T thank Him for every day things that I used to take for granted.

I'm very, very sorry you're having a rough time. Try to cheer someone up. As Barbara Streisand used to sing "People who need people are the luckiest people in the world." I'd change the word "need" to "help" and "luckiest" to "nicest." Nurses, doctors, therapists, teachers, friends, etc. Of course, helpers need help, too.

 

[Veve13]

Well, my life was always strange; I came from a weird American family and all non-religion. I'm mostly stranded. No car and no Frontier phone service even though the bill is paid. My friend who called me regularly to chat doen't have email!

I watch news and weather and do ask God what is going on and why.

Here's one thing I did to cope: I made a list of reasons to thank God. T thank Him for every day things that I used to take for granted.

I'm very, very sorry you're having a rough time. Try to cheer someone up. As Barbara Streisand used to sing "People who need people are the luckiest people in the world." I'd change the word "need" to "help" and "luckiest" to "nicest." Nurses, doctors, therapists, teachers, friends, etc. Of course, helpers need help, too.

I have a Blessings journal, too. It's just that at times, things are so bad I can't imagine them ever being better.

Today was a "better" day. First one I have had like this in I don't know when. Maybe it is because I was called to substitute teach our ladies Bible study on Joshua which is about "not Worrying."

 

[Rescued One]

I have a Blessings journal, too. It's just that at times, things are so bad I can't imagine them ever being better.

Today was a "better" day. First one I have had like this in I don't know when. Maybe it is because I was called to substitute teach our ladies Bible study on Joshua which is about "not Worrying."

I could tell a story like that! I was substituting a kids class. Two of my daughters had hitch hiked to Florida several states away in the seventies. Stupid!! How could they be so STUPID? And WHY? The lesson was about David bringing captives home. Our daughters were gone and the stress caused my husband to lose so much weight, he almost ended up in the hospital. His aunt who was a spiritist gave me advice that I ignored considering the source. I prayed and found an itinerary in the girls' shared bedroom. I called the police in the last city on the itinerary. The next day those police called me back and said they had the girls in custody!

 

[Veve13]

I could tell a story like that! I was substituting a kids class. Two of my daughters had hitch hiked to Florida several states away in the seventies. Stupid!! How could they be so STUPID? And WHY? The lesson was about David bringing captives home. Our daughters were gone and the stress caused my husband to lose so much weight, he almost ended up in the hospital. His aunt who was a spiritist gave me advice that I ignored considering the source. I prayed and found an itinerary in the girls' shared bedroom. I called the police in the last city on the itinerary. The next day those police called me back and said they had the girls in custody!

Great story!! I like it.

 

[Veve13]

Hello
I hope you are well and coping better? I also have a similar conundrum as you. Not quite as long as you since I lost my wife, but gets harder, rather than easier.

I am sorry.
Day before yesterday was one of the best ever, as I said before. Yesterday was okay. Today is not so good. Not the worst ever….but as I was cleaning, I saw his rainsuit hanging in the utility room. My first thought was to put it away and then my 2nd was, when he comes home, he may need it.

 

[Rescued One]

Wow! I don't know why, but I started giving things to remind the kids of him soon after he passed away because I was afraid they wouldn't treat each other fairly if something happened to me. I miss him when I try to remember things bEcause he had an excellent memory.

 

[Veve13]

I gave things as he had indicated and to whom. Have given some clothing to adult grandson—-would give his entire closet, if he would take it. Would give to a needy stranger too….but don’t care to donate to an organization who will charge for his things.

Everything reminds me of him….our plates, furniture, even the air that I breathe as he had such difficulty at times the last year.

 

[Rescued One]

I gave things as he had indicated and to whom. Have given some clothing to adult grandson—-would give his entire closet, if he would take it. Would give to a needy stranger too….but don’t care to donate to an organization who will charge for his things.

Everything reminds me of him….our plates, furniture, even the air that I breathe as he had such difficulty at times the last year.

My husband spent most of his free time on the computer and conversation was definitely not his thing. But we enjoyed rides in the country. He always loved driving and I enjoyed looking at the scenery. We both liked fast food. I'd say we were down to earth. I used to miss our rides, but I'm fine now. It has been 11 and a half years.

 

[Veve13]

My husband spent most of his free time on the computer and conversation was definitely not his thing. But we enjoyed rides in the country. He always loved driving and I enjoyed looking at the scenery. We both liked fast food. I'd say we were down to earth. I used to miss our rides, but I'm fine now. It has been 11 and a half years.

Wow!!
Yes. We enjoyed country rides too. And rides to the beach. Had planned to take the hour and a half ride to the beach the morning he passed. He thought the salt air would help like it had in the past. Waves were forecast to be high and he wanted to see them. I had already found a beach restaurant where we could have lunch.
I am glad you have survived.
I can’t imagine 11 years without him! And am so hoping not to.

 

[Rescued One]

Hello
I hope you are well and coping better? I also have a similar conundrum as you. Not quite as long as you since I lost my wife, but gets harder, rather than easier.

I'm really sorry. Did she have cancer? My husband did, and I suspected it in January, but he wouldn't go to the doctor and wasn't diagnosed until May. He passed away in September of that year. His three older brothers were already gone.

 

[Rescued One]

Wow!!
Yes. We enjoyed country rides too. And rides to the beach. Had planned to take the hour and a half ride to the beach the morning he passed. He thought the salt air would help like it had in the past. Waves were forecast to be high and he wanted to see them. I had already found a beach restaurant where we could have lunch.
I am glad you have survived.
I can’t imagine 11 years without him! And am so hoping not to.

You must not have children. My oldest daughter stays in touch but she moved to another county a few weeks ago.

My husband didn't like beaches because he was very fair skinned and had been burned badly once. Every time I convinced him to take the kids to a lake, he'd say "We have to leave now," after only about 40-45 minutes.

I wish you and yours could have gone one last time.

Did he have COPD? My MIL did and died in 1981.

 

[Rescued One]

Wow!!
Yes. We enjoyed country rides too. And rides to the beach. Had planned to take the hour and a half ride to the beach the morning he passed. He thought the salt air would help like it had in the past. Waves were forecast to be high and he wanted to see them. I had already found a beach restaurant where we could have lunch.
I am glad you have survived.
I can’t imagine 11 years without him! And am so hoping not to.

You must not have children. My oldest daughter stays in touch but she moved to another county a few weeks ago.

My husband didn't like beaches because he was very fair skinned and been burned badly once. Every time I convinced him to take the kids to a lake, he'd say "We have to leave now," after only about 40-45 minutes.

I wish you and yours could have gone one last time.

Did he have COPD? My MIL did and died in 1981.

 

[Veve13]

You must not have children. My oldest daughter stays in touch but she moved to another county a few weeks ago.

My husband didn't like beaches because he was very fair skinned and been burned badly once. Every time I convinced him to take the kids to a lake, he'd say "We have to leave now," after only about 40-45 minutes.

I wish you and yours could have gone one last time.

Did he have COPD? My MIL did and died in 1981.

We have a daughter & 3 grands: 24, 23 & the youngest is 13.

David was Italian with lovely olive skin that never burned. He had lung cancer. Was discovered in September 2021 when we’d gone to ER due to a sore throat. Stage 2….and yet surgery, chemo and proton radiation really did not prolong his life….but did prolong his misery.

I guess I was in denial that he would die. I just never thought there would ever be a time that we would be permanently separated. After all the tests saying he had the heart of a healthy 35 year old, he collapsed and died on our living room carpet from a cardiopulmonary arrest.