Hugging the opposite gender in church?

[ServantJohn]

I know a lot of people have no issues with men hugging women they aren't married or related to in church and vis versa, but it weirds me out. If a lady comes in for a hug, I shift to a side hug or give them my hand. What are your thoughts on this topic? Should I be okay with it? I'm okay with men hugging men and women hugging women, but not sure about the opposite gender hugging thing.

 

[Brother-Mike]

Weighing the cons of sending a weird signal, giving a sense that you don't want to touch them, etc, versus the pros of loving fellowship my vote would be to man up and give that hug Anyway, as you said she's coming in for the hug, so it's not like you're leaping over the pew to man-handle anyone. Just hug them like they're your Grandma.

 

[Aussie Pete]

I know a lot of people have no issues with men hugging women they aren't married or related to in church and vis versa, but it weirds me out. If a lady comes in for a hug, I shift to a side hug or give them my hand. What are your thoughts on this topic? Should I be okay with it? I'm okay with men hugging men and women hugging women, but not sure about the opposite gender hugging thing.

I am not a fan either. A handshake is just fine. Some people can get entirely the wrong idea also.

 

[ServantJohn]

Weighing the cons of sending a weird signal, giving a sense that you don't want to touch them, etc, versus the pros of loving fellowship my vote would be to man up and give that hug Anyway, as you said she's coming in for the hug, so it's not like you're leaping over the pew to man-handle anyone. Just hug them like they're your Grandma.

But she's not my grandma, my manhood is not in question, and I show genuinely that I don't mind touching them by offering them a handshake. She's usually a woman near my age and often the wife of another church member or the pastor. I'm not "leaping over the pew", but they sure are sometimes. I've attended three different churches where the music minister cheated on his wife while being a leader in the church. One of them reportedly slept with 14 different women in the church according to one of the church elders. He found another church to minister in very quickly after this one dismissed him.

 

[Marumorose]

I know a lot of people have no issues with men hugging women they aren't married or related to in church and vis versa, but it weirds me out. If a lady comes in for a hug, I shift to a side hug or give them my hand. What are your thoughts on this topic? Should I be okay with it? I'm okay with men hugging men and women hugging women, but not sure about the opposite gender hugging thing.

May God Bless You. 2 Corinthians 13:12 "Greet one another with a holy kiss."
1 Corinthians 16:20 "All the brothers and sisters here send you greetings. Greet one another with a holy kiss"
The bible says that we must show each other Love but if you are not comfortable with that, then do not do it. It is not a sin to refuse a hug. I myself do not hug and kiss. I am not comfortable with it but i do Love my fellow brothers and sisters. We must always follow our hearts. We also have to remember that every person is emanating a specific type of energy. Some of us releases very negative, toxic energy that makes the environment also negative( even at church). For spiritually sensitive people, these energies can be sensed.

 

[ServantJohn]

May God Bless You. 2 Corinthians 13:12 "Greet one another with a holy kiss."
1 Corinthians 16:20 "All the brothers and sisters here send you greetings. Greet one another with a holy kiss"
The bible says that we must show each other Love but if you are not comfortable with that, then do not do it. It is not a sin to refuse a hug. I myself do not hug and kiss. I am not comfortable with it but i do Love my fellow brothers and sisters. We must always follow our hearts. We also have to remember that every person is emanating a specific type of energy. Some of us releases very negative, toxic energy that makes the environment also negative( even at church). For spiritually sensitive people, these energies can be sensed.

Thank you for your reply. It sent me into quite a study on the "holy kiss", how it was performed, and if the sex of the individuals performing the "holy kiss" mattered. It appears the "holy kiss" was a closed-mouth kiss on the lips between two Christians. not the cheeks as I had assumed. There were groups where "holy kisses" would take place between men and women, but this practice was corrected or changed "very early on" due to abuses. Then it was made clear or changed that "holy kisses" were only to be between someone of the same sex. So men were to kiss men only and women were to kiss women only. This is still practiced in some churches today accompanied by a very light "hug".

This is basically the same as how I feel about the issue. Hugs should only be given to those of the same sex. "Love" can be shown with a warm handshake and a smile given to the opposite sex. As for others who choose to exchange hugs with the opposite sex, that's between them and God.

 

[Brother-Mike]

But she's not my grandma, my manhood is not in question, and I show genuinely that I don't mind touching them by offering them a handshake. She's usually a woman near my age and often the wife of another church member or the pastor. I'm not "leaping over the pew", but they sure are sometimes. I've attended three different churches where the music minister cheated on his wife while being a leader in the church. One of them reportedly slept with 14 different women in the church according to one of the church elders. He found another church to minister in very quickly after this one dismissed him.

Fair enough - then it seems that you've arrived at your answer

I'm reminded of the trick for deciding between two seemingly equal options: flip a coin to decide, and if you are tempted to then make it "best out of three" then probably you have your answer as to which one you truly preferred.

 

[ServantJohn]

Fair enough - then it seems that you've arrived at your answer

I'm reminded of the trick for deciding between two seemingly equal options: flip a coin to decide, and if you are tempted to then make it "best out of three" then probably you have your answer as to which one you truly preferred.

I intended my position on the subject to be clear in the original post. Sorry if it wasn't. This thread was to find out what others thought on the subject in order to test my position and practice. Marumorose gave Scripture that made me question my position which is always welcome, but after looking into the practice in the early church, it ended up leading me to be more confident in my position. You and I might should start kissing when we meet though. I do like your test for preference if someone isn't sure which they prefer.

 

[Brother-Mike]

You and I might should start kissing when we meet though.

We might be brothers, and I'd happily give my life for yours, but still there are limits

 

[splish- splash]

Maybe, one should just give a Godly wave or handshake.

 

[tturt]

Noticed since covid, some just gently bump their fists.

 

[rocknanchor]

Noticed since covid, some just gently bump their fists.

Yes. And every Sunday, there is at least one mask.

 

[Andrewn]

If a lady comes in for a hug, I shift to a side hug or give them my hand. What are your thoughts on this topic? Should I be okay with it? I'm okay with men hugging men and women hugging women, but not sure about the opposite gender hugging thing.

This morning in church, a lady came in for a hug. I hugged her back and felt welcomed in the church and loved.

I can't tell you what to do.

 

[rocknanchor]

", , a lady came in for a hug. I hugged her back and felt welcomed in the church and loved.

Right, it is nearly commonplace in our Church. Just because the world is keyed into and centered on self-love, is it right to refuse God's will on the matter? Only in developing countries where barbarianism is pretty much commonplace, the Church suffers with them and shows them literal parameters.

Global awareness even for these should begin to generate an effect towards 2 Corinthians 13:12.

 

[rocknanchor]

God is "God of the living". Christians live and live to grow and grow to love. What a blessed and holy thing to grow into. Wherever you are, I hope He makes this known to you as well !!! The Spirit is sooo much a part of our fellowship. Amen!

 

[rocknanchor]

You. 2 Corinthians 13:12 "Greet one another with a holy kiss."
1 Corinthians 16:20 "All the brothers and sisters here send you greetings. Greet one another with a holy kiss"

There were groups where "holy kisses" would take place between men and women, but this practice was corrected or changed "very early on" due to abuses.

"And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a multitude of sins.”​

"Abuse"? If only you could have shown where the Spirit gave that bit of advice. But I see no indication of the Spirit's retraction. Perhaps the problem is within our own understanding. Perhaps it is we who should not be so willing to write off our ancient brothers' susceptibility yet continued with fervent love regardless of the surrounding culture.

If it is Jesus who designs a standard with this or that, who am I to refuse His wisdom and guidance?

 

[rocknanchor]

Perhaps the problem is within our own understanding.

It most certainly is. For if,

He is able to aid those who are tempted. (Hebrews 2:18)​

If we bond to refuse the possibility of that aid, we fulfill the world's "common sense" of pointless kissing, conforming instead to the kiss of pleasurable attraction for someone, not because of Someone.

Go ahead, try to run a crowd-kissing search. It is unheard of because they have no reason for it to materialize. Only one class of people on earth can fit that into a wholesome activity!!!