Dear all, I realise that whenever God reveals his will to me, or reminds me to get back on the right path when I am slipping, this always is accompanied by satan making me paranoid and have psychosis like symptoms. I've learnt how to now be tricked, by praying, taking anti depressants, and to control my emotions and thoughts as per advised by the bible (ie: take every thought captive, etc) I want to know, is it just me whom this happens to, or do you also experience spiritual attacks right after God gives you gentle nudge or a comforting presence to show you that you're not alone/ remind you to have faith/ tells you something?
Well to answer your question on the one hand yes I think spiritual attacks by the enemy will always be a part of the Christian's experience that come in a myriad of ways, but always meant to discourage us, torment us, wear us down. Jesus was attacked almost from day 1, and we are to share in the fellowship of His sufferings. God's purpose in allowing them was the same as for His son. Even He had to be tested out so to speak, and perfected in the things He suffered. So, they are used to forge us into overcomers, and used to conform us into the image of Christ.
On the other hand I see you are young and there is I am sure much in your life that has to be sorted out, untangled so to speak. This process is called the dividing of Soul and Spirit which is not a one time thing, but becomes our daily experience and can only be done as the cross is applied to our life day by day. The cross can be painful. It gets to the heart of everything must go.
Over time we get better discernment of what is soul and spirit, and what is simply the enemy's assault. Some of the depression you may feel could very well be the discipline of the Lord dividing soul and spirit, bringing you into purer motives which leads to a more divine peace. This process can be painful. He untangles us from ourselves, our wants, our expectations of Him, until we can say with Christ, "Not my will be done" And Having that pure cry in our heart, at anything that may cost us and acceptance of anything that follows is the gateway into peace. Peace is not something sought in of itself. It is always a by-product of the cross doing it's work and us being brought more purely in the Lord's will and then our acceptance thereof.
My own term for the discipline of the Lord through the sanctifying process is "touching death" death is anything that is not His will. For me that road has gotten a lot narrower in this regard as I have followed the Lord a number of Years now. If I "touch" something for too long that I know He has untangled me from I "touch death" or if I begin to go a way that is not beneficial for me or His will, then it is the same. It can be a painful disturbing feeling, that He hands me over to for a time in His discipline. And like He says, no discipline seems pleasant at the time.
But on the other hand, there are times I know He has brought me through something, given me something to do, given me somewhere to stand so to speak, and I know this is of His doings, and as I begin to stand in that, He allows all of Hell to come against that and test that out almost as if He is bent on destroying the very thing He's given me to do and me with it in the process. And this can be a very painful discouraging process as well. But the pain is different, the process is different and over time you begin to better discern between the two.
The Best thing you can do is to simply be as your tag name suggests, a vessel on the potter's wheel, desire for Him with all your heart no matter the cost to you to be shaped into whatever He desires you to be and become. The operative word is what
He Desires. Leave your desires, thoughts about it, and expectations at the door. And when He sees that, that is a heart He will not refuse. As you work it out He may allow you to make some "mistakes" along the way. But even that He will work to His good and through them you will go through the refiners fire, and stand more and more purely in that which is purely out from Him.
Hope this helps dear sister. This post was on my heart this morning to spend a little time with as I see this type of problem come up frequently, so maybe it not only helps you but someone else along the way. Forgive the long reply.
