I was recently on Twitter when I saw that the caption “Lies Teenagers Tell Their Parents” was trending. Intrigued, I scrolled through the various posts, which contained answers such as:
“Yes, there will only be girls at the sleepover!”
“I don’t really know what alcohol tastes like.”
“Of course I studied for the test, my teacher just hates me!”
“I’ve never even had a cigarette!”
It was all along the same lines… lies about school/ homework/ grades/ attendance; friends/ boyfriends/ girlfriends/ sex/ sexuality; alcohol/drugs/smoking. And based off the answers I read, I came to some conclusions about why teenagers lie to their parents. (Note: obviously twitter does not provide a representative sample of teenagers, nor was this a serious method of research!) There seemed to be an underlying trend amongst these common “teenage lies” that really stood out to me: the fear/ assumption that their parents would be disappointed, or wouldn’t be understanding about their choices.
Fair enough, no parent wants to hear that their teenager has been out engaging in illegal, unethical or dangerous activity- but perhaps there’s a mindset that needs to change on both sides. It’s all well and good for an adult to say, “I wish I had been told this at your age!” but that won’t convince a teenager. Often teenagers don’t understand their parents’ reasoning for forbidding them to do something, and “Because I said so!” isn’t accepted as a legitimate or justifiable answer. I’m sure many teenagers I know would be less likely to feel the need to lie to their parents about experimenting with alcohol if they had actually been told that intoxication makes your body a danger to itself. Perhaps if discussions about relationships weren’t so taboo and judgemental within our households, young people wouldn’t feel the need to sneak around their parents’ backs.
During my early teen/ ‘tween’ years, I had a very strained relationship with my parents because I felt like they didn’t understand me. I felt like they made no effort to understand my social struggles or my reasoning for ‘unpleasant’ behaviour. But then we learnt to communicate better. My parents strived to meet me on my own level and see things through my eyes. Likewise, I stopped resisting their authority and realised that, although they are human and imperfect, my parents weren’t actively trying to make my life miserable or stop me from having a good time, but instead were trying to protect me based on their own knowledge and experience. Years later, our relationship is not perfect, but I genuinely cannot remember the last time I lied to my parents (unless you count the other week I went to stay with them & denied eating all the chocolate!).
حياة عيلتنا هي مدونة تُعنى بأمور العائلة والتربية، نحن آباء وأمهات يحاولون كل يوم ليكونوا أفضل أهل!
“Yes, there will only be girls at the sleepover!”
“I don’t really know what alcohol tastes like.”
“Of course I studied for the test, my teacher just hates me!”
“I’ve never even had a cigarette!”
It was all along the same lines… lies about school/ homework/ grades/ attendance; friends/ boyfriends/ girlfriends/ sex/ sexuality; alcohol/drugs/smoking. And based off the answers I read, I came to some conclusions about why teenagers lie to their parents. (Note: obviously twitter does not provide a representative sample of teenagers, nor was this a serious method of research!) There seemed to be an underlying trend amongst these common “teenage lies” that really stood out to me: the fear/ assumption that their parents would be disappointed, or wouldn’t be understanding about their choices.
Fair enough, no parent wants to hear that their teenager has been out engaging in illegal, unethical or dangerous activity- but perhaps there’s a mindset that needs to change on both sides. It’s all well and good for an adult to say, “I wish I had been told this at your age!” but that won’t convince a teenager. Often teenagers don’t understand their parents’ reasoning for forbidding them to do something, and “Because I said so!” isn’t accepted as a legitimate or justifiable answer. I’m sure many teenagers I know would be less likely to feel the need to lie to their parents about experimenting with alcohol if they had actually been told that intoxication makes your body a danger to itself. Perhaps if discussions about relationships weren’t so taboo and judgemental within our households, young people wouldn’t feel the need to sneak around their parents’ backs.
During my early teen/ ‘tween’ years, I had a very strained relationship with my parents because I felt like they didn’t understand me. I felt like they made no effort to understand my social struggles or my reasoning for ‘unpleasant’ behaviour. But then we learnt to communicate better. My parents strived to meet me on my own level and see things through my eyes. Likewise, I stopped resisting their authority and realised that, although they are human and imperfect, my parents weren’t actively trying to make my life miserable or stop me from having a good time, but instead were trying to protect me based on their own knowledge and experience. Years later, our relationship is not perfect, but I genuinely cannot remember the last time I lied to my parents (unless you count the other week I went to stay with them & denied eating all the chocolate!).
حياة عيلتنا هي مدونة تُعنى بأمور العائلة والتربية، نحن آباء وأمهات يحاولون كل يوم ليكونوا أفضل أهل!
Last edited:
