What would you do in this situation?

[Walk.by.Faith]

There is this guy I know named Stephen, and for some reason I am drawn to him. I've known of him for almost a year now, but I've never really gotten to know him. But from what I've seen, he is very funny and has the cutest smile ever! I know that his faith is very strong. He is on Campus Crusade for Christ leadership with me. He went on a Summer Project mission trip to Serbia this summer and he's leading a men's bible study.

I want to get to know him, but I'm not sure how to do it. He seems sort of shy, and I know I am when it comes to this stuff. Part of me wants to work on myself (which I am doing) before even talking to him...in hopes we might date.

Any Godly advice?

 

[SuperPhil]

31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh"

I know you don't want to hear this, but it isn't your place to pursue a relationship with the man. I'm not saying you shouldn't date, i'm saying that you shouldn't initiate the process.

From a guy's point of view, if the women came up to me and asked me out, I would quickly decline knowing that this girl doesn't understand the woman's role.

Men are to chase, and women are to be chased. You aren't trying to win the man's heart, HE is trying to win your heart.

If you truly believe that this is the guy that Christ picked out for you, then the Lord will put it upon his heart to pursue a relationship with you. In the mean time, take the extra time to draw close to Jesus - get to know him.

This is the standards that Christ has put on my heart as a guy.

 

[Riddik7]

WHOAH! Hello a little sexist there phil?

I'm sorry but i hate that belief that people have... it is equaly ok for a girl to ask the guy. What ever happened to equality?

Just because society seems to dictate something it does not mean you should follow it.

Faith - Ok in regards to your question. What i can say is pray about it. Be careful. Take your time. It's when people rush that things go sour. But at the same time you don't want to miss your chance if it is right. Do you always want to be wondering what if i had tried the rest of your life? God will lead you to make the right choice as long as you pray and take your time.



Edit: Whoever came up with the idea of the Sadie Hawkins dance was a genious imo!

 

[Sketcher]

Is one of you new to the leadership team or something? Have you not served with him? Small teams do get to know each other better as they serve the Lord together.

Pursuit of a relationship here could either be a very good thing, as there is a wise old Christian couple that I have heard speak who got together this way. Or it could be a very bad thing if there's someone else on the leadership team who has a crush on either one of you, and they handle their jealousy badly, or if he has a mutual attraction to someone else on the team, and you handle your jealousy badly. This is God's team with God's people in it, assembled to do God's work. That's what your focus needs to be this semester, doing God's work. Let the chips fall where they may. God may lead the two of you to each other, he may not. But you're both there right now to build His kingdom, and that must be number 1, with everything else being kind of a nice extra that you could go without.

 

[Wedjat]

I know you don't want to hear this, but it isn't your place to pursue a relationship with the man. I'm not saying you shouldn't date, i'm saying that you shouldn't initiate the process.

From a guy's point of view, if the women came up to me and asked me out, I would quickly decline knowing that this girl doesn't understand the woman's role.

Men are to chase, and women are to be chased. You aren't trying to win the man's heart, HE is trying to win your heart.

If you truly believe that this is the guy that Christ picked out for you, then the Lord will put it upon his heart to pursue a relationship with you. In the mean time, take the extra time to draw close to Jesus - get to know him.

This is the standards that Christ has put on my heart as a guy.

And I think you should take that chauvinistic attitude and... well I guess that's not forum appropriate.

I for one would be thrilled if a girl I didn't know, or only knew in passing, initiated a relationship. I wouldn't go out with them right away obviously, I'd like to get to know them first, but I'd find a girl with a little initiative far more attractive than one who just sits on the sidelines and watches, hoping, waiting.

 

[SparkyMaddie]

just ask him to go to lunch with ya..as friends

 

[Beminde]

Find something the two of you have in common! Projects, bible studies, friends... That's where I would start. Or just have casual talks with him when you see him, and then you can go from there.

(And initiative isn't the same as chasing. I actually like to be chased after, but that doesn't mean there's no initiative from my side).

 

[Walk.by.Faith]

I agree with Phil all the way, the man should initiate. I would much rather be pursued than to be the pursuer. If he likes me, he can come talk to me, if not...then obviously thats not what God had planned. I just need to focus on what God has set before me and I need to give my all to Him. Just like the saying goes...

"A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man would have to seek Him to find her."

I would rather have a man who's everything was in God anyway
So thank you guys for the advice, I think I've learned what I need to do

 

[renee09]

I would suggest getting to talk to him more first, get to know his more on a more personal level. And then see how things go. God Bless

 

[explodingboy]

get to know him as a friend, socialize together etc.. light a pallet on fire and claim it's a bonfire, that's my favorite conversation starter.

 

[Muninn]

I know you don't want to hear this, but it isn't your place to pursue a relationship with the man. I'm not saying you shouldn't date, i'm saying that you shouldn't initiate the process.

From a guy's point of view, if the women came up to me and asked me out, I would quickly decline knowing that this girl doesn't understand the woman's role.

Men are to chase, and women are to be chased. You aren't trying to win the man's heart, HE is trying to win your heart.

If you truly believe that this is the guy that Christ picked out for you, then the Lord will put it upon his heart to pursue a relationship with you. In the mean time, take the extra time to draw close to Jesus - get to know him.

This is the standards that Christ has put on my heart as a guy.

are you serious

 

[pressingon17]

Wait,seek God first,you should want more of a Relationship with Jesus before a person.

 

[Walk.by.Faith]

Wait,seek God first,you should want more of a Relationship with Jesus before a person.

Yes I agree! Good advice

 

[robrobrob]

go and speak to him, he will be flattered and if you end up a couple then you can grow in faith together