Too late?

[mommy2b]

I took us a while till I realized we should be quiverfull.
My husband and me have been married for ten years. Nine out of this ten years we used contraception. We thought God was fine with natural family planning. Actually we had always wanted children, but we put other things (college, career and so on) first.
We - of course - knew Gods command to be fruitful and multiply but we thought that this was back then and it did not apply to us today any longer.

When we decided to turn our fertility over to God. I was pregnant within three month. I am more than happy. Well my gyn told me I would take me at least 1 year at my age. I will be 33, when our son will be born by the way.
I know I should feel blessed, but I regret our decision to use contraception so much. I cannot stop thinking of all the children God wanted to send us and we thwarted it.

I plan on breast feeding on demand, which, I know, greatly reduces fertility and I am already that old. I never realized how much fertility declines with age.

I feel like I have stolen our son the chance to ever have children and I feel so guilty, because I would not let God bless me with children before.

 

[akmom]

A family at my church was forced to put off having children for 10 years due to cancer. She was 35 years old when she was finally able to stop chemotherapy and become pregnant. They were very discouraged when they lost their first pregnancy, but within a year of that miscarriage, they went on to have a baby and then another. I don't know if they will have more, but the husband said, "There are benefits to having kids young and there are benefits to waiting, and we're just so blessed that we were able to have these kids."

Instead of focusing on the things you didn't get (an early start at parenthood), remember all the blessings that will be available to your children because you were older, more educated, and well-established when you brought them into your lives. We have all made mistakes that affect the course of our lives, but God takes us as we are and blesses us anyway. (Not that waiting to have children was necessarily a mistake.) My daughter goes to school with only-children and children from big families. She has classmates with young parents and classmates with older parents. As a parent volunteer, I definitely see the benefits to older parenting, but the number of siblings they have seems to make no difference in how happy and well-adjusted they are.

By the way, ACOG says that spacing children 2 or more years apart improves the health of mothers and future pregnancies. So incidentally delaying your next pregnancy by breastfeeding longer may not necessarily put you at a disadvantage.

 

[Sabertooth]

...
I know I should feel blessed, but I regret our decision to use contraception so much. I cannot stop thinking of all the children God wanted to send us and we thwarted it.

I feel like I have stolen our son the chance to ever have children and I feel so guilty, because I would not let God bless me with children before.

We are all spiritual ding-a-lings until God puts His finger on a particular area of our hearts. The best we can do is respond quickly (with the remainder of our lives) when He brings such conviction. And, more likely than not, the time preceding this particular conviction, He was probably preparing other areas of your hearts so you could be more responsive when He finally called your attention to this...

(It's all part of the sanctification process, anyways...)

"Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness." Romans 6:13

I plan on breast feeding on demand, which, I know, greatly reduces fertility and I am already that old. I never realized how much fertility declines with age.

Don't worry about the impact of breastfeeding on your fertility. It is incidental, not deliberate. However long it should last, it will give your body a chance to recuperate. Just feed and enjoy your baby.

 

[Just4Jesus]

I took us a while till I realized we should be quiverfull.
My husband and me have been married for ten years. Nine out of this ten years we used contraception. We thought God was fine with natural family planning. Actually we had always wanted children, but we put other things (college, career and so on) first.
We - of course - knew Gods command to be fruitful and multiply but we thought that this was back then and it did not apply to us today any longer.

When we decided to turn our fertility over to God. I was pregnant within three month. I am more than happy. Well my gyn told me I would take me at least 1 year at my age. I will be 33, when our son will be born by the way.
I know I should feel blessed, but I regret our decision to use contraception so much. I cannot stop thinking of all the children God wanted to send us and we thwarted it.

I plan on breast feeding on demand, which, I know, greatly reduces fertility and I am already that old. I never realized how much fertility declines with age.

I feel like I have stolen our son the chance to ever have children and I feel so guilty, because I would not let God bless me with children before.

don't be so hard on yourself, God isn't

 

[katautumn]

Quiverfull isn't a competition to see who can have the most children and how frequently. Just because we turn our fertility over to God doesn't mean He will see fit to give us lots and babies, and that's okay. The fact that you and your husband are being obedient to God and trusting Him fully is wonderful and a blessing in, and of, itself. God may choose to bless you in other areas of your life instead.

I'm 31 years old and my husband will be 48 this month. He had a vasectomy when we were dating and, at the time, we both had sons from previous relationships and we assumed two kids between the two of us was plenty and we didn't want any together. God changed my heart and mind first. It took five years for my husband to heed God's calling to get a vasectomy reversal. We have decided once the reversal is done we're leaving it up to God. He may not let us have any children, or we may have several. Who knows? Medically speaking, the odds aren't in our favor of having any more than one. Reversals are risky, they don't always take and many scar back over even after a pregnancy has successfully been achieved. Then my age and his age are also a factor.

We know that we're simply being obedient to what God wants from us at this point in our lives and we're trying to not live with the regrets of "what if you'd never had that vasectomy?" or "what if we'd met when you were a little younger?" or "what if we'd been Christians when we first met? We'd probably have lots of children by now." You can't do that. God doesn't want you to do that and it isn't healthy for your relationship with Christ or your spouse to wear that burden of guilt and regret. It's the past. You postponed parenthood and are now following God's will for your life, and that's a beautiful thing.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and enjoy every minute of being a mommy