- Feb 5, 2002
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Next month my wife and I will celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary. My parents were married for 67 years, so four decades doesn't seem like much of a milestone to me. But I'm aware that in today's culture—when couples consider divorce the easy escape from any conflict—we are blessed to still be together after tying the knot on April 28, 1984.
People often ask me what's the secret to our longevity. A group of men asked me that question a few weeks ago when I was in Uganda—a country where men are often harshly dominant, domestic violence is rampant and men are known to value their cows more than their wives. I gave them a teaching outlining the radical ways Christianity changed the way we should view marriage.
I explained that male domination often leads to abuse in marriage, even in Christian homes, and that such cruelty is rooted in the original fall of man in the Garden of Eden. I also gave some examples from other parts of Africa that remind us of this abuse.
In Kenya, for example, some men in the Masai tribe require their wives to sleep on the floor next to their beds. In some parts of western Uganda, wives aren't allowed to eat the chicken they prepare for their husbands because meat is for men only. And in many parts of Africa, men believe having multiple wives is a sign of prosperity.
The problem of abuse isn't limited to Africa; it is everywhere. This is sometimes because Christian men never allow the Holy Spirit to set them free from the sinful tendencies of male pride and superiority. And sometimes evangelical believers weaponize verses in the Bible about wifely submission to make an excuse for domestic violence or verbal abuse.
God never intended marriage to be about hierarchy, domination, control or abuse. If we aim to stop abuse in the wider culture, Christians must begin by discipling men to break free from this patriarchal attitude. We must take these three scriptural steps:
Continued below.
www.charismanews.com
People often ask me what's the secret to our longevity. A group of men asked me that question a few weeks ago when I was in Uganda—a country where men are often harshly dominant, domestic violence is rampant and men are known to value their cows more than their wives. I gave them a teaching outlining the radical ways Christianity changed the way we should view marriage.
I explained that male domination often leads to abuse in marriage, even in Christian homes, and that such cruelty is rooted in the original fall of man in the Garden of Eden. I also gave some examples from other parts of Africa that remind us of this abuse.
In Kenya, for example, some men in the Masai tribe require their wives to sleep on the floor next to their beds. In some parts of western Uganda, wives aren't allowed to eat the chicken they prepare for their husbands because meat is for men only. And in many parts of Africa, men believe having multiple wives is a sign of prosperity.
The problem of abuse isn't limited to Africa; it is everywhere. This is sometimes because Christian men never allow the Holy Spirit to set them free from the sinful tendencies of male pride and superiority. And sometimes evangelical believers weaponize verses in the Bible about wifely submission to make an excuse for domestic violence or verbal abuse.
God never intended marriage to be about hierarchy, domination, control or abuse. If we aim to stop abuse in the wider culture, Christians must begin by discipling men to break free from this patriarchal attitude. We must take these three scriptural steps:
Continued below.
This Is How I've Stayed Married for 40 Years
If you want to avoid pain in marriage, learn the New Testament secret of mutual respect and equality.
www.charismanews.com
