Hi all!
Lessee, I'll start with us (DW & I) personally. We were married
in December 1988. After several years of trying to conceive a child the good old fashioned way, we turned to a fertility specialist. Since then, we tried AIH, 9 IVFs & 2 FETs, all failed.
Even though we did just about every test there is, DW has never become pregnant & the doctors have no idea why. We are among that small minority of couples whose primary infertility is wholly unexplained.
In May 1997, we adopted a 4-month-old baby boy, whom we named Yohanan (means "God has been gracious" in Biblical Hebrew). In November 2002, we adopted a 2.5-week-old baby boy whom we named Naor (means "has been made light" in Modern Hebrew). We quit fertility treatment for good sometime after we adopted Yohanan. (On the first day of our 2-day New Year, we read I Samuel 1:1-2:10 in synagogue. Until we adopted our boys, we would usually sit there [in the men's & women's sections, respectively] sobbing our hearts out during the reading.)
We are orthodox Jews. Insofar as I understand it, the orthodox Jewish view in a (kosher) nutshell is that as long as the sperm & egg come from a married couple (and there are proper safeguards to ensure that there are no mix-ups), procedures like AIH, IVF & FET (this includes GIFT & ZIFT, micromanipulation, etc.) are OK & anyone assisting a childless couple to conceive is doing holy & praiseworthy work. Donor sperm is NOT permitted. Donor eggs are less of a problem; Jewish law considers the woman who bears a child to be its mother.
Fortunately, we did all of our fertility treatments & adoption here in Israel. Our health fund covered just about ALL of the expenses for our various fertility treatments. We paid 10% of most prescription drug costs and that's about it. So costs were not an issue for us.
All domestic adoptions here are, by law, under the sole & exclusive jurisdiction of the Ministry of Labor and Social Welfare's Child Welfare Service. (All CWS adoptions are closed & blind.) American-style private adoption is quite illegal here, thank God! I say "Thank God!" because it is tantamount to the buying and selling of human flesh & prices couples without means right out of the "market".
Contraception is generally frowned upon & not permitted unless there is some overriding health concern (i.e. pregnancy would place the mother's health/life at risk); non-barrier methods are more acceptable in such cases than barrier methods.
Questions?
ssv