- Jul 4, 2017
- 8
- 30
- 39
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Single
....I feel like should start this like I'm at a 12-step meeting.
Hi everyone, I'm Caelesto.
[:::"hiiiiii Caelesto":::]
I've struggled with both anorexia and major depression since I was like ....11? I don't actually remember what it was like to NOT struggle with both of those.
The anorexia got really out of control back in about mid-2011 when I was getting dangerously underweight. I managed to pull myself out of it on my own, have not weighed myself since the end of 2011, and I think I have been mostly maintaining a healthy weight.
(yes, there is a "but" coming)
From the outside, I guess I appear to be recovered. But, if I am totally honest, I am not recovered at all.
I'm not restricting or over-exercising, but I hardly eat anything. I work in an office, so my lack of any kind of real physical activity sort of balances out the not eating very much.
Has anyone else found themselves in this situation/mindset during recovery?
I'm not obsessively counting calories or tracking my weight, but I avoid carbs completely, eat one all-meat meal per day, and use my digestive issues as a reason not to eat when I'm with other people. ("I'll eat when I get home, I don't want to risk my IBS flaring up", etc.) As far as friends and family are concerned, I stick to a sort paleo-diet and that seems to keep anyone from feeling suspicion.
I'm not exactly actively trying to lose weight, but I'm also still terrified of gaining weight. I've dug myself into this rut and I have no idea how to get out of it.
Hi everyone, I'm Caelesto.
[:::"hiiiiii Caelesto":::]
I've struggled with both anorexia and major depression since I was like ....11? I don't actually remember what it was like to NOT struggle with both of those.
The anorexia got really out of control back in about mid-2011 when I was getting dangerously underweight. I managed to pull myself out of it on my own, have not weighed myself since the end of 2011, and I think I have been mostly maintaining a healthy weight.
(yes, there is a "but" coming)
From the outside, I guess I appear to be recovered. But, if I am totally honest, I am not recovered at all.
I'm not restricting or over-exercising, but I hardly eat anything. I work in an office, so my lack of any kind of real physical activity sort of balances out the not eating very much.
Has anyone else found themselves in this situation/mindset during recovery?
I'm not obsessively counting calories or tracking my weight, but I avoid carbs completely, eat one all-meat meal per day, and use my digestive issues as a reason not to eat when I'm with other people. ("I'll eat when I get home, I don't want to risk my IBS flaring up", etc.) As far as friends and family are concerned, I stick to a sort paleo-diet and that seems to keep anyone from feeling suspicion.
I'm not exactly actively trying to lose weight, but I'm also still terrified of gaining weight. I've dug myself into this rut and I have no idea how to get out of it.