On knowing vs. being

[hopeinGod]

Why is it that the folks who best know us are the least to hear the Word from us? Iit seems like what Jesus said, "A prophet is without honor in his own country?" or in this case, "own household."

Those with whom we are the closest know, without a doubt, that we are not angelic-like beings who emit an aura of intense spirituality. We are who we are in the Lord: not who we once were, and not who we'd like to be, but we're still on the right road.

Especially when my "best friend" who knows me very well sees that I don't quite tiptoe around others in an effort not to offend, but instead am more prone to speak to the wrong that I see. It is a character trait I am well known to exhibit at my place of work as well. For this, I am judged as being less godlike than I should be.

I know a great deal of Word, but if I'm not acting like a doormat for others to walk over, what I know has no value to them, I sense is the situation.

Look at the relationship Paul and Barnabas had. They were in contention with one another so often that they had to split. It's not like they were flowing with loving tolerance for each others opinions and personal stands.

I see often that what folks want from Christians is some kind of ooey gooey "love" that is supposed to be willing to lay down and die for any one and everyone simply because they claim to know the Lord. But, if something is wrong, we shouldn't shy away from addressing it, even if it ruffles a few feathers.

Timeliness is important, I realize, for a word in due season, how sweet it is, we are told. And sometimes we have to wait rather than speak the moment we notice a situation needs addressing, not in a condemning way, but in one that is insightful and discerning. And still, even that approach isn't well received.

 

[Tobias]

Here's a thought. Jesus was the Word of God made flesh. IOW, he was the complete Gospel wrapped up in the form of a human being.

I don't think preaching the Gospel is the only way to communicate it. Perhaps it isn't even the best way to communicate it! Isn't living it better than preaching it?

Maybe that's why we don't feel compelled very often to actually preach to those who know us well.

 

[jannikitty]

I have been there and done that often. And I have learned sometimes painfully that mainly we are to "speak the truth" in love. The key would be in the words "in love." Also, sometimes it is better to simply love than to correct. Besides if correction is our main mode of operation people will not receive it as anything more than criticism. There needs to be a balance in when to and when not to and when to try to turn it around to something positive rather than simply strike out even if we are sharing a scripture. Never, of course, to be hitting someone on the head with a scripture just because it is a scripture. Most of all to make sure our hearts are right and that we have good motives in what we say. Asking ourselves if it is really necessary is a good thing to do. Not to be afraid or shirk something we feel the Lord has put on our heart to help rather than hurt the person we are confronting.

Besides speaking the truth in love (or not speaking at all)..I often need to pray for wisdom. Sometimes I do this in my morning prayers regarding any encounters I have that day. Amazing how that helps!

We can be honest and forthright at the same time biding our time, using wisdom, and praying for the other person even forgiving them if necessary. And, actions often speak louder than words. Sometimes in our efforts to set someone else straight we neglect our own need to change. And we are all in the process of being changed from glory to glory.

peace and prayers.

 

[parsley]

Everyone has their way of competing in this world. And everyone endures disagreement and misunderstanding. There are times you just need to be who you are, and let the chips fall. Accept a little rejection as normal. Otherwise you will dance around one patch of needles to another patch of glass, and will never please people.

But also think about how to make your words effective. Words communicate, and sometimes influence. If you want influence, it is important to assess how your words will be received. Too much of having the right answer can lead people to oppose anything you say.

Get to the heart of who they are, and what they really need to hear.

An example -- one time I was out of town and had an accident. It went on the church prayer chain, and I didn't hear a word from anyone who had committed to praying for me, including my friends. That was fine; I didn't want the prayer list to be a gossip chain.

Then when I returned to church, after some time of limited physical activity, all that people could say was how I needed to get back to the gym to tone up. I explained that bones were broken, etc., and got looks like I was digging for excuses.

They offered no, "Gee I'm sorry you broke bones," or "We were praying for you," or "How do you feel now?" -- no acknowledgement of that at all. They wanted to tell me their truths, because they knew the truths were Right.

The information was more destructive than helpful at the time, and made me realize how few people were praying over the weekly distributed prayer list.

Love is not just about gushy talk or blind acceptance. It includes concern for people, and a willingness to listen. Willingness to learn from them. You can have all the right answers, but miss having a powerful influence when the answers don't fit the needs.

 

[hopeinGod]

Thanks for the replies. I think, for the most part, the times when I speak up are moments when the truth has to be told. Wait around for the "right moment" and it may never come.

People want friends in their lives, but they really don't want criticism no matter how right it is, I've found. This is especially true when it concerns, for instance, how kids are being raised or how finances are being managed. Folks simply don't want to hear those things, and those topics are strong points in my life. Keeping quiet about them is a challenge for me. What needs spoken aren't necessarily words of wisdom. Instead, they are more like logical solutions.

Any association with a single mother family, which I've had throughout my life, presents innumerable challenges. For some reason, strong Christian families I have seldom been a part of, as normally the people I meet end up being strugglers in many ways. A word of wisdom is at the bottom of their list when more immediate $$$ is desired. Without a doubt, had the mother taken the right steps, had she known what to do, she would not be where she was.

Mostly, God has seen fit to introduce me to families who struggle rather than those who have made deep commitments to Christ, have spent time in the Word, are able to give, etc. And so, too often, because I have a few more dollars in my pocket, I'm looked at as a source of income, and less a source of good advice.

The majority of one parent families that I know have, on a repetitive level, experience bad choices and hard times. In one case, one of the teenage girls was routinely crawling out of her bedroom window at odd hours to sell herself. In another case, the young girls became pregnant at an early age, never married, were sometimes arrested, and never had any vision for their lives. And they were regular attendees at a Presbyterian church.

Why these sort of families have been more the case for me than other more stable ones is all in hands of God. Because of the stress involved, for years, I separated from any friendly involvement at all, spent long periods of time alone, then, after some time, eventually visited another church where I thought I could make a more stable friend, but, once again, what appeared was a truckload of baggage.