My testimony

HopeSings

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People hate me because of my religious beliefs, mental illness and sin.

I'm feel despised, rejected, scorned, mocked, walked on, lorded over, disliked and hated.

I have no friends but Jesus and I'm an imperfect sinner. I repent of everything but I struggle with lustful thoughts still. I'm pretty low. I have nothing but judges and haters
 
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HopeSings

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I may be mentally ill and struggle with unwanted thoughts but I'm not a ram. I judge with mercy because I need it myself every day. I don't cast people out like garbage. I'm garbage myself. The apostles were seen as garbage. For a different reason perhaps but at least garbage is fashionable.

Ezekiel 34:1 word of the Lord came to me: 2 “Son of man, prophesy against the shepherds of Israel; prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Woe to you shepherds of Israel who only take care of yourselves! Should not shepherds take care of the flock? 3 You eat the curds, clothe yourselves with the wool and slaughter the choice animals, but you do not take care of the flock. 4 You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured. You have not brought back the strays or searched for the lost. You have ruled them harshly and brutally. 5 So they were scattered because there was no shepherd, and when they were scattered they became food for all the wild animals. 6 My sheep wandered over all the mountains and on every high hill. They were scattered over the whole earth, and no one searched or looked for them.

7 “‘Therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the Lord: 8 As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign Lord, because my flock lacks a shepherd and so has been plundered and has become food for all the wild animals, and because my shepherds did not search for my flock but cared for themselves rather than for my flock, 9 therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the Lord: 10 This is what the Sovereign Lord says: I am against the shepherds and will hold them accountable for my flock. I will remove them from tending the flock so that the shepherds can no longer feed themselves. I will rescue my flock from their mouths, and it will no longer be food for them.


“‘As for you, my flock, this is what the Sovereign Lord says: I will judge between one sheep and another, and between rams and goats. 18 Is it not enough for you to feed on the good pasture? Must you also trample the rest of your pasture with your feet? Is it not enough for you to drink clear water? Must you also muddy the rest with your feet? 19 Must my flock feed on what you have trampled and drink what you have muddied with your feet?

20 “‘Therefore this is what the Sovereign Lord says to them: See, I myself will judge between the fat sheep and the lean sheep. 21 Because you shove with flank and shoulder, butting all the weak sheep with your horns until you have driven them away, 22 I will save my flock, and they will no longer be plundered. I will judge between one sheep and another. 23 I will place over them one shepherd, my servant David, and he will tend them; he will tend them and be their shepherd. 24 I the Lord will be their God, and my servant David will be prince among them. I the Lord have spoken.
 
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RandyPNW

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People hate me because of my religious beliefs, mental illness and sin.

I'm feel despised, rejected, scorned, mocked, walked on, lorded over, disliked and hated.

I have no friends but Jesus and I'm an imperfect sinner. I repent of everything but I struggle with lustful thoughts still. I'm pretty low. I have nothing but judges and haters
Nah, you have friends. You are just learning tough love. You may feel unworthy, but the spirit is deeper than your feelings.

I'm not trying to depreciate your negative experience. Keep the faith and you will get through it.
 
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Unqualified

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Thank you for your testimony and the scriptures. Life is hard on many of us. You are Gods child who He died for. Paul was the off scouring of all things. I feel like nothing but to say it, people call it false humility. Paul knew he had a mission and did it well but his humility was to be judged by God. Not man or himself. Meekness is gentleness of the strong. But humility and what the world thinks of you are to different things. The world will keep you in you place. But God will lift you up if you’re not doing it to yourself. Your lovable.
 
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HopeSings

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Nah, you have friends. You are just learning tough love. You may feel unworthy, but the spirit is deeper than your feelings.

I'm not trying to depreciate your negative experience. Keep the faith and you will get through it.
Tough love? I'm not so sure what it is.
 
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HopeSings

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I struggle a lot in the mind. I hear negative voices and sometimes I feel an unknown presence around me. It's scary. Things got better after I got off of Facebook. I started taking meds again as well but getting off of Facebook seems like it helped before medication could. If medication actually helps that is. I don't know.

My mind is like Paul said about his flesh. There isn't anything good in it. I try to focus on my hobby and grace. Jesus is all that is good.

People dont understand what happened to me and neither do I. Something happened to me though. I never used to be this way.

I heard a voice yeas ago hut I ignored it. Now my mind is a warzone. Is it illnesses, spiritual warfare, or punishment? I don't know
 
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HopeSings

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The battle belongs to the Lord surely. I just wished I knew what side I was on. The battle lines are blurred. Like Vietnam I don't know is is friend or enemy and I'm not even sure what I am. People spit on me or they scorn me and reject me. Like a Vietnam vet

Sure actual warfare is different but spiritual warfare is no joke. Neither is illness and according to Romans chapter 8 illness is our enemy but it doesn't necesarily go away. We are led to slaughter and Paul died daily. I'm not Paul though. I need to be though.

 
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HopeSings

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Without Paul and his testimony I would die without hope. No one has answers but him and scripture it seems.

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