ey all! long time since this little brit has posted on ere ey? well just thought id share something Gods been doing in my life!
Basically for those who dont know im a secret muslim convert to christianity and therefore my family are muslims. Only my dad knows about my conversion and he took it pretty well... still finds it hard to accept tho
So from the above my living at home in my break from university hasnt been easy, i struggle mainly with feeling guilty since i feel im going behind their backs and lying to them. Last friday my mum brought something up that she had noticed about my faith in islam. She was very annoyed that i was no longer praying in the islamic way or reading their holy book, the quran. So i decided to share a truth and told her id lost faith in islam and that was the reason behind that. And she retaliated by saying "that means your nothing. and you cannot avoid the evils of this world". so this kinda hit a climax of other rubbish i was dealing on a similar issue with my family and kinda sent me into a bit of a panic attack, i was really hurting. That night i prayed to God letting out everything inside- all my emotion lashed at him, but i was being honest with him. It reminded me of an image of say a son was tying his shoe laces and the father walks in and smiles because hes giving it all hes got! but imagine if the son thinks is he smiling because im struggling- so gets angry and starts hitting the dad- does the father retaliate? or does he embrace the child and let him unleash the hitting till he is provided with that sense of peace and love. and thats what it felt like... i was fighting God but he was embracing me still. I also prayed that id have an oppurtunity to share the gospel with my father and mother, but i was so scared about it. Anyway i eventually fell asleep - praying really takes it outa ya!
The next day id promised id go with my parents to meet up with some family friends, and old couple who really wanted to see me and wanted me to read them some of my poetry. So we got there and they were both pretty old and 1 was ill, so they had carers that lived with them and looked after them. At lunch time we all sat together around the table- including the carers who were a couple from south africa. My dad in his usual manner went on about the world and its troubles and somehow started talking about Islam. And began to kinda preach its teachings. He was talking on the subject of if you do good deeds, god will reward you with heaven. then to my surprise the lady carer said "oh wow, that is like the opposite of our belief! We believe Jesus Christ came to this earth and bore our sins through grace and love at his death on the cross, so our salvation is secured and out of those seeds of grace and love which the Holy spirit has planted in us flower desires to do good deeds". Her husband went on to make the distinction between doing good deeds out of duty and good deeds out of wanting to- out of love.
and THEN we all went in the living room to watch a little documentry about the family roots of the old man we were visiting. He is related to a famous german composer called Felix mendelson (not sure how u spell it but he composed the wedding march!). This composer was born a jew, but had converted to christianity, and yet had kept his jewish roots. I think this was amazing for my dad to see that because im a christian now it doesnt mean i will loose my roots, and to be honest for a muslim thinking about converting to christianity that is what scares them the most.
So that was a real answer to prayer
many more to come i hope
luv you all!
God bless!
x
Basically for those who dont know im a secret muslim convert to christianity and therefore my family are muslims. Only my dad knows about my conversion and he took it pretty well... still finds it hard to accept tho
So from the above my living at home in my break from university hasnt been easy, i struggle mainly with feeling guilty since i feel im going behind their backs and lying to them. Last friday my mum brought something up that she had noticed about my faith in islam. She was very annoyed that i was no longer praying in the islamic way or reading their holy book, the quran. So i decided to share a truth and told her id lost faith in islam and that was the reason behind that. And she retaliated by saying "that means your nothing. and you cannot avoid the evils of this world". so this kinda hit a climax of other rubbish i was dealing on a similar issue with my family and kinda sent me into a bit of a panic attack, i was really hurting. That night i prayed to God letting out everything inside- all my emotion lashed at him, but i was being honest with him. It reminded me of an image of say a son was tying his shoe laces and the father walks in and smiles because hes giving it all hes got! but imagine if the son thinks is he smiling because im struggling- so gets angry and starts hitting the dad- does the father retaliate? or does he embrace the child and let him unleash the hitting till he is provided with that sense of peace and love. and thats what it felt like... i was fighting God but he was embracing me still. I also prayed that id have an oppurtunity to share the gospel with my father and mother, but i was so scared about it. Anyway i eventually fell asleep - praying really takes it outa ya!
The next day id promised id go with my parents to meet up with some family friends, and old couple who really wanted to see me and wanted me to read them some of my poetry. So we got there and they were both pretty old and 1 was ill, so they had carers that lived with them and looked after them. At lunch time we all sat together around the table- including the carers who were a couple from south africa. My dad in his usual manner went on about the world and its troubles and somehow started talking about Islam. And began to kinda preach its teachings. He was talking on the subject of if you do good deeds, god will reward you with heaven. then to my surprise the lady carer said "oh wow, that is like the opposite of our belief! We believe Jesus Christ came to this earth and bore our sins through grace and love at his death on the cross, so our salvation is secured and out of those seeds of grace and love which the Holy spirit has planted in us flower desires to do good deeds". Her husband went on to make the distinction between doing good deeds out of duty and good deeds out of wanting to- out of love.
and THEN we all went in the living room to watch a little documentry about the family roots of the old man we were visiting. He is related to a famous german composer called Felix mendelson (not sure how u spell it but he composed the wedding march!). This composer was born a jew, but had converted to christianity, and yet had kept his jewish roots. I think this was amazing for my dad to see that because im a christian now it doesnt mean i will loose my roots, and to be honest for a muslim thinking about converting to christianity that is what scares them the most.
So that was a real answer to prayer
many more to come i hope
luv you all!
God bless!
x
for your faith and safety and for your family too
