I think the vocals can be turned up. Your delivery reminds me a lot of old Eminem. Sounds like you are trying to mimic that style completely. I don't feel like you can do that yet, some of the words are hard to understand early on. You struggle to enunciate. Can't get your message across without people understanding it. I think your flow is a bit choppy at first, but it could be the instrumental choice because near the end when you switch up your delivery a bit it's on point. I think your lyrics are kind of all over the place here. You were talking about one thing then start talking about your mom having a stroke.